Reflect

There's nothing more exciting in my life than the joy I recieve from the Lord each day. So today's blog will be a reflection on the love and passion of Christ for us. Last night I was enlightened and filled with the love of Christ as I meditated on the life of our Lord, in front of the blessed sacrament in Adoration. The past few days, Caitlin and I have been lazy to get wake up early enough to make it to 6am mass at Mother House, and last night while praying in adoration God's love poured out abundantly upon me. It's nothing less or more than the love God's constantly has offered but my willingness to recieve and open my heart to the true presences of our Lord was different last night.
We prayed the Liturgy of the Hour, evening prayers with the Sisters and afterwards I had time to meditate up the life of Christ through the rosary. When I finished my mind began to spiral deeper and deeper into the Love of our Lord. I was thinking, in the old testement everyone believed, and didn't really question God's presences in the burning bush before Moses and many christians/jews still believe the truth of that passage, christians/jews believe in God speaking through the clouds (the voice of God) giving the commandments. We didn't have trouble believing this. I began to think... how, incredibly humble is our Beloved Lord, Jesus. God... the all powerful, omnipetient that created all things that are being now. Came now to be made creature-like; to become HUMAN! I couldn't grasp that for the longest time as I meditated upon the Eucharist. I couldn't think how that could compare to anything we possibly can imagine, it's like us creating an image, a painting, and choose to become made so lowly that what we are already (human) and rather become our creation (a painting). I couldn't fathom it. But yet our Lord, God didn't choose just to become any human... he choose to become a SERVANT of the world. To be amongst those of the poorest of the poor! He choose to be born in a mager, with straw beddings. Not a palace, house , not even a hostel or hotel. Our Beloved Savior choose to be amogst those that are most blessed, those of the poor. How many times have we heard in the gospel; to give to the poor? To be a servant? To LOVE!!!? Constantly Christ gives us the direction to serve and love those of the poor, through our love we show to those in need... His love will be given as a reward, filling our life with Joy. We will be judge on our love and never upon what we posses. We will be judged on how we love and who we love. Is it only those that love us that we return our love? What shall we ever gain if so? We're called towards a higher love and creature love, a love that demands nothing but an ourpouring of our self! A complete selfish love to our enemies, to families, neighbors and strangers among the poor. Today's Mother Teresa quote is "Intense Love does not measure, it just gives!" How often do we try to count the cost of giving? How often do we expect something in return? True love gives, and gives, and gives... we can't begin to love if we can't give without expectations. Our Lord, Jesus comes to us fully human and fully divine. He comes not as a king of Worldly possesions but a King of Love, a king of virtue, a king of the eternal kingdom that we all long for. Just TRY to imagine; Our Beloved Lord was being praised and glorified in the Heavens but CHOOSE to become human, to be among the poor, to be ridiculed, mocked, scurged, spit on, humiliated and crucified! By the same world He choose to come down upon. By the same world He created! By the same world, he came to show ULITMATE LOVE! And this is the reward he was given, by the world? Our sinfulness keeps us tied to worldly possesions. We seek to be praised, to be honored, to be loved, to be set above others in all the good we do. We (meaning I above all) lack the humility that God came to show the example for us to imitate. To love unselfishly. I continued to meditate upon this throughout adoration and it lead me to something profound. Although it's so unheard of, and so amazing that God would choose to become human... that's something almost all christians believe. But what do we here in the Gospel numberous times! In the old testement, it talks about the passover, and the sacrifice of the perfect lamb! It talks about the sacrifice and offering of Issac by Abraham. We are told Jesus is the fulfillment of the prophets, He FULFILLS the old testement. How is that God becomes the perfect lamb, and finish the sacrifice that Abraham was to offer? In the gospel of John, Jesus says NUMBEROUSLY "I am the bread of life!" Over and over, he tells us we must eat of this bread of life to have eternal life. Later on at the Last Supper he tells us again, This is my body given up for you as he took the bread and broke it... "do this in rememberance of me" He finishes the last cup of the passover as he hangs crucified on the cross and the guard gives him wine and vineger to drinks... then "it is consumated/It is finished" he gives himself totally to his bride, the CHURCH. I was profoundly strucked by the numberous times this initiation was done throughout the Bible. God tells us and gives us himself in the Eucharist. If we don't have the Eucharist apart of our lives now... his words in John "whoever eat of this will inherit eternal life" would be cut off for every generation after Christ's death. But no,... he leaves us his holy presences in the Eucharist. He takes form fully with all divinity in a, once again humbling form, of Bread and wine. As he did times before in the form of the voice in the cloud, as the burning bush, and as Human. Emmanuel (God with us), this phrase, this title of our Lord remains... God is STILL with us, and it BLEW MY MIND when I thought about it yesterday. You can ask Caitlin... because for an hour long I stared SMILING contagiously at the Eucharist. God is with us now and forever, through his insituation of the Eucharist. Just try to think about this... the same liturgy of the hour I was praying that evening is being prayed throughout the world! The same readings and gospel readings of the mass everyday that I hear is being said EXACTLY the same throughout the world. Same reading, that's insane! But here's the crazier part, that everytime a mass is being celebrated... heaven an Earth unites. It's not by the power of the priest for himself that transubstansiation occurs but rather by his offering of self to become a channel for Christ to work through him HEAVEN and EARTH is united. Think about this now... how many mass is being said every day, throughout the world! EVERY HOUR.... there's a mass being celebrated which means every moment of our life heaven and earth is united. Christ awaits us in the tabernacle throughout the world and God is with us, Emmanuel! I began to think ... right now is around 7pm my time and I'm adoring and praising God before the Eucharist, I started to think... "I know Fr. Jim and Fr. Qui Tac starts their morning with our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament" "They probably are in front of the blessed Sacrament either right now (6:30am) or not long after or before" I started thinking how often do Caitlin and I get to share the celebration of the Eucharist at Mass and in Adoration and how often we must be united with our love ones at home that may be celebrating our Lord at the exact time. The word catholic means universal and how more true has it become for me as I experienced the communion of the east and the west being tied through the Blessed Sacrament.
On my walk home with Caitlin she immediately asked me... "you have to tell me why are you so joyful, you were smiling the whole time in adoration". And seriously I was, my joy even brought tears to my eyes. As I told her she only confirmed the beauty of the presences and offering that the lord give us. We started thinking and felt bad how we get so lazy to sleep in and miss daily mass... but God still awaits us. Giving us endless opportunites. He gives us options of mass at a different time, but yet we still missed it... and finally adoration. And when we were before Him, God's love welcomed us fully... without reserve. Without disapointment of the time we were to lazy to get out of bed, and asks of us for only one hour to talk to Him, to thank, pray, and ask! How beautiful. How beautiful!




After last night, Caitlin and I made sure we got up this morning for mass! It was hard... but we did it. We got to mass and when I walked upstairs towards the chapel Sr. Karina stopped me and said... Can you go back there and get dressed up to altar serve. "Oh, buddy.... altar serve?" I thought to myself. I've done it numberous times in states but I've seen how they altar serve here and it's just SOOOO beautiful and reverant. I didn't think I was worthy enough to do so. I needed to talk to a priest before mass to get direction on what I'm suppose to do, I didn't want to mess up! Today mass was special... there was over 130 novist and SOOOOO many MC sisters! We had 5 male altar servers, I was the inscent barrier, and we had two priest to celebrate the mass. To my suprise the reading today talked about Moses and the burning bush and it immediately filled me with Joy! The priest gave one of the most AMAZING homilee! Everyone was in awe! I was on the verge of tears. He gave one of the most beautiful compliments to the MC sisters... telling them that they are the closest things he has seen on earth to Jesus, by their living example, by their congregational rules, lifestyle, words they speak and their actions, truly imitate Jesus. He challenged everyone in the chapel saying that this is where saints are made, we are all called to be missionaries of charity whether it's religious or not. Our life must be made to become a mission and the mission is to give, love, and serve! Their is one example of a Blessed women that opened her self so fully to the Love of Christ where she conceived in her heart and in her womb Christ's Love.... and how did she respond? She went with great haste! We too are suppose to go with haste when Christ's love is with us! We must put our love into action! Hurry, hurry, hurry... he said. There is much to be done.
After mass I joined the volunteers downstairs and as I was walking downstairs the Novist were in the courtyard... all 100+ novist and they began to sing. A MC sister's feast day was today and she turned 91!!! She was blessed to work alongside Mother and after the Novist sang to her she gave the most beautiful speech. Telling us that we are to always remain silent until God chooses to use us. She used the example... that Jesus, only does what the Father tells him... we to are suppose to only speak words of Love, and act as the Father tells us. Let everything we do only become a reflection of Christ to the world! Breakfast today was even special, we had Mango JAM for our bread, and coffee. usually it was only bananan, bread and chai, but today we got all that plus jam and coffee and biscuts! It was great... although I didn't get any breakfast because I waited till the end and it was all gone. I had a different excitement and joy! I recieved a letter from Sara this morning that was in the Missionaries of Charities mailbox! I couldn't stop smiling and was sooo anxious to read it but didn't until everybody left the volunteer room. And as soon as they did I rushed over to Mother's Tomb to read... and truly Sara, you really do make me smile and it brought SOOO much comfort! So thank you gal! I miss you. (side note: A special hi from Caitlin to Ricky, She wants you to know you're loved.... she thinks about you constantly and knows you read this blog every day, so Hi! Pray for us).
Well, after everyone left to their first session, I stayed behind. I spent some time at mother's tomb and read my letter, than I helped Sister mop the volunteer's room, and sister asked me specfically to stay behind today because she wanted me to help with music for volunteer day next thursday. While mopping the floor the Sisters were so funny to be with. They were messing around with Joseph (it was his last day and he's been here for MONTHS!) but they were telling him they're stealing him and won't let him go, then Sr. Karnia did some werid but halrious kungfu moves, then locked Joseph in between the big main garage door that all the volunteer goes out of in the morning, and a gate on the inside. She closed him in and locked him. She took some pictures and it was just absolutely halrious to see Sr. Druscilla and Sr. Karina laugh so much. Everyone in the room was laughing, which was only 5 other volunteer and joesph but it was just so joyful! When all the other volunteers left Sr. Druscilla and Sr. Karina and I went over music. We spent all morning going through music! It was so great to hear the Sisters sing with me! We went through many Taize music and then music for mass. Than I was able to play sister one of the song I wrote that was inspired by this mission trip called Give till it Hurts... and it talks about "I thirst" which the sisters just absolutely love and tried to tell me I need to play it for mass, although I told them it's too upbeat and contempary, than they told me I need to play it for volunteer day... and it's something I can't keep to myself. She said it's God's song... you must share! hahaha! So, we'll see what's up. But they truly enjoyed it which made me happy! Well, I have to head back to the mother house at 3:30 to help lead choir practice. I'm also need to catch lunch sometime and than afterwards dinner and pick BRIANNA UP at the airport tonight! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention... Caitlin and I are helping out with volunteer day (next thursday) and as you figured, I'm helping with mass music and taize and probably with music for the skit but I'm excited because Caitlin is doing artistic/poetic reading!!!! So that's exciting. We're meeting every day from now till next thursday the 26 of July. So it's great because it keeps us busy in the afternoon!

Well, for lunch Caitlin and I went over to New Market to Dominos Pizza... yes, it's kind of sad that we're here in Kolkata India but we're still going to Dominos but... seriously if you had Rice, Dal, and Roti or Nan everyday you'll switch it up at least one meal everyday and treat yourself! Trust me...you'd get bored although you say you won't. I had Rice, Dal or Curry all my first week thinking that this is amazing.... soon after, it just tastes the same and you want to switch things up! Anyways, we split a large pizza at Dominos and I wanted her to take give her name for the ticket stub this time since I was Mr Yuant last time I wanted to see if they'd get Caitlin right. When our receite came out ... Ms. Katen ordered a bbq chicken large pizza! hahaha.... Ms Katen! I love it! because now she can't just make fun of me for Mr Yuant... Ms Katen. I wonder what they'll call Brianna... we'll wait and see. It's a new game, cheap entertainment.... actually it's a price of a meal. Large pizza here is about... 4 dollars, which is more expensive than any other meal we order. ( side note: I'm sitting here next to Caitlin at the internet cafe and she just found out she got called for Jury Duty for the beginning of August, hahahaha.... I'm really sure she's very disapointed that'll she'll miss that, but I thought that was funny enough to share) Anyways back to the today. We had to get back to the Mother house by 4 because I was leading choir practice for Thursday's mass, Volunteer's day mass, which is apparently a big deal since Sr. Karina says it happens only once a year. Although i heard that before it was every month, but i guess they switched things up. Anyways, I have a friend Mamath, the rickshaw runner, and Caitlin and I always wanted to take a running rickshaw not nessesarily because we're lazy although that does play a big part, but after visit the village and hearing that the grandma with 2 children that are motherless and the Father is the only provider and he's a Rickshaw Driver/runner... i just realized that this is how they make a living. This is for some the ONLY source of Income. I think I'm more bothered by the beggers because they beg from everyday and don't try to improve their life while they have perfect english or are still in their prime, and when they recieve they're expecting it or as of today... the lady just grabbed my bottle and walked away. No thanks, no nothing.. even when I stop and go to a stand to buy some food and give it... there's not much thanks it's just a turn and walk away or a "is this it" face. I don't expect anything in return, I just want to know that I'm not making it worst for them and often I think that I am when I see how the don't care about what is given. On the other hand, the rickshaw driver begs for someone to use their service and when I came up to mamath today he had the biggest smile on his face! Even while he was running he was like... Oh you're such a good friend! usually a rickshaw to the mother house should cost about 40 Rps,... maybe 60 with 2 people but that's even generous. Well, Caitlin and I paid him 80 Rps and he had the greatest smile. It's was a fun ride, I felt weird and I really don't like taking a rickshaw like that because I always want to be in solidtary with the people or with the poor in India but it made me happy knowing that he was greatful and happy that I was using his service. I recorded it all on video! So you'll get to meet my friend mamath and also get to see the street that I walk every morning pass the slaughter house, trash pile, and muslim street, towards Mother House!
Choir practice today was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! i couldn't believe it! It was weird, I was leading the group for singing and creating harmonies for the songs. It was a little more challenging because I not only had to teach the notes, melodies, or harmonies to the volunteers but many of the volunteers where from different countries! France, Spain, Korea, Japan, ... etc. And several were challenged in the pernuctiation of certain words so I had to go through the lyrics. Today we only worked SOME of the mass parts. Our Entrance song for the mass is Blessed Be Your Name! And we spent over an hour practicing it. It sounds amazing!!! I was sooo proud of everyone. I just wish I could show everyone at home at how amazing the volunteers are! When we first started singing this song nobody even knew the melody and by the end of the hour they were singing with such great spirit! I'm in awe! I taught them other parts of the mass; Such as the Holy, holy, holy, Memorial Acclamation, Amen, and Lamb of God. IT sounds amazing! Anyways the Sisters are REALLY excited for the Holy Holy Holy. I think we're using the music from Mass of Creation... but I'm not sure if I'm right, but anyways... Sr. told me that throughout the whole time here they have only met one other person who could play the guitar part for that song and so they were sooo excited taht I could lead this for the mass. Also for the pass 2 years during Volunteer Day they've sang Lord I Lift Your Name on High for the entrance song and now they're really happy that they get to change it up and use Blessed be Your Name! I'm just really happy that I can be of help and use and that helping with Praise and Worship up in Bellingham and a little when I was at Life Teen is really paying off. Everything is just going stellar today! Truly we are all blessed! Through Christ we are made worthy and seriously it's nothing through our own powers or will do we do to deserve such grace and love but everything that God is makes it possible for us for us to recieve such love sooo abundantly! God calls out to us everyday and awaits us. In prayers, at the celebration of the Mass, in Adoration, and in service of charity to others He awaits to encounter our love for him and to give His love back to us. Make haste and go and spread the Love of Christ throughout the word! I love you all.