My Lord is truly beautiful... and fully presences in the Holy Eucharist. Pray with trust in our Lord and he will give you comfort and resolution. Believe with your heart and you shall recieve. Today was a day that i will never forget. I woke up early to attend mass at 6. After mass I went to breakfast with the volunteer like usual but yesterrday Sr. Drucsilla asked if I wanted to talk tomorrow during/after breakfast. She saw right through me yesterday and knew my heart was burden. When all the volunteers left to go off to their assinged sites, I sat with Sister and talked about vocation, relationships, and many other things that I carried as a cross. She told me, "today, you will take the morning off... I want you to spend as much time with Jesus in prayer and he will give you an answer." I came upstair into an empty chapel with the tabernacle centered and the statue of our Blessed Mother to the right and I began to pray. An hour after the novist came in (in groups of 9-15; since there are almost 50-100 of them) they each spent an hour in adoration and did rotations... I had a hard time trying to hear God in my prayer and continued to pray.... "Jesus come... Mary guide me to your Son..." It's so hard to focus when the Mother House is right next to one of the busiest streets in town. Cars, horn, and people shouting started out distracting me but soon it faded, and I was alone with Christ in the blessed Sacrament of the Altar; The Eucharist. I forgot I was there before the Novist and sisters and began to pray and pray; for direction, for trust, and to be more closely united to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. All i've seen before is the foolishness of my desire, the desire of worldly things; of the impulses of the flesh but the height of wisdom is to set your goal on heaven by not being bound to worldly desire... the materialistic things we'll soon loose and the value of it looses it's value; the desire to act on the impluse of our flesh only counterfiets what God has waiting for us; whether it's marriage or relgious/holy order. No human flesh or relationship can be our ultimate end but the flesh and blood of etneral life offered at the crucifiction and in the Eucharist will bring true eternal life for our soul. Only through Christ may any relationship be perfected. I must love Jesus above and before all things to be able to love fully and reciprocate the love to others. I am all His and any relationship only helps point me to my ultimate end. I prayed and prayed... and when I was just getting ready to really begin and ask for intentions and signs. The novist had finished their whole session. I just spent 5 hours in adoration and it felt like minutes. I was able to pray for intercession from our Blessed Virgin Mary and did all 4 mysteries of the rosary. May soul rejoiced in God my saviour and i was illuminating with great gratitude of the Love shown by Christ on Calvary. Sr. Druscilla asked me to come back downstair so we could talk some more to hear where I've come in prayers. I won't say much but God has given me the guidance in my meditation.
We will always fall, whether it's in selfishness, relationships, hurting others or not being an image of a true disciple of Christ. But we must remember the station of the Cross... and become an imitation of Christ and a servant like our Blessed Virgin Mary. Christ himself had to carry a cross; of suffering but of great love. He fell numberous times on his climb to calvary, but the glory is that he got back up every time. We must image this... for we are doomed to fall while carry our cross and burdens if Christ himself fell, but we must get back up to walk towards the foot of the cross on Calvary, towards redemption and salvation. God knows the plans for our lives... we must trust that where we're at is where God wants us... and fully heartedly pursue it as God's plan, if it's not His plan he will direct us otherwise. Whatever God has created no man can break. So let us trust in his plan and begin to live and serve everyone with Love.
This morning was one of the greatest time in my life; I got to spend hours in adoration and talk to Sister Drucsilla for a while and than return to adoration and than spend some time at Mother's Tomb. What more could I ask for... but that's exactly it. When you have love with you, you must act and God will put situations in your life so you will. I was headed back towads sudder street to get some lunch; i decided to help out the families rather than the popular resturants that I went to and bought from some sketchy store outside of the houses on the street. I bought something called Samosa and it was WHOOOOO yummy! they were a ruppee each... so what... 2 cents if even? So i paid 50% tip on the Samosa I bought. I got to sudder and I recieved some bad news. (I missed my morning session at Daya Dan... and had to find out during lunch)... Lucy (i don't know if i've mentioned her yet), but she's been in the hospital for 5 days since Sonu died. She also had a high fever and after Sonu, we couldn't risk anything. But today my friend Rosa came and told me Lucy died last night in the hospital. Lucy.... at age 9, also with extreme disability. I had spent time before helping her with physical therapy and bathing her. And couldn't believe what i heard. This was a shock for many of the volunteer, masis, and sisters.... two beautiful souls in one week. I rushed over to metro after recieve the news and got to Daya Dan as quick as I can. Mass was being held for her at 2:30 and i arrived just in time. Jesus truly present in the Eucharist and there he was before our beloved departed soul of Lucy. She laid not in a tomb but in exposition on a platform not to far from the Altar... facing the altar as if she was attending her last mass with us all. She laid there beautifull, clothed in the fines dress, with a ribbion in her hair and flowers covered her all around. At the end of mass I had the opportunity to come and say my final farewell. Nothing moved me more than love, I bowed before her body and rised in tears, placing my hand on her forehead I blessed her with the sign of the cross and the words that came out from me was "I love you Lucy". My soul rejoiced for her union with Christ but mourn the lost of a beloved friend. I bent over her body and kissed her forehead and tears came strolling down my face. "In the heaven there shall be no more tears" the pains of the world and suffering Lucy endured was finally brought to peace with Christ, as she spent her years united in Christ suffering already. My tears turned into tears of joy as I realized that eternal life has begun for her, and I smiled with tears running down my face.
After mass lightening and thunder struck and heavy rain began to pour... I had the opportunity to head back to sudder but decided I needed to go to the cemetary and help bury Lucy's body. Me and 11 other volunteers headed over in two taxi, the ride was about 30 minutes from Daya Dan to a Cemetary around Kalighat. When we arrived there were some delima about a signed signature that needed to be on a form. So there was an hour or more of a delay. By the time the grave was digged and everything was ready it was dark out, I was asked to be one of the 4 to carry her tomb. I carried it in disbelief but with great love, praying the whole way towards her grave site. We did a prayer over her tomb and than I was asked to help lower her into her grave and my heart was filled with much love as I lowered her down. I could not do anything on my own but only through the grace of God may he use me to be his instrument of peace and love. And my heart was filled with love. The sisters gave me miraculous medals to throw into the grave along with her tomb, it was blessed, and than i helped bury the tomb with my hands from the dirt the mounted beside it. The sisters gave me insences to place on the mound of dirt once her tomb was covered, and we layed flowers all over the mound. And covered illuminated her sites with candles as we sang farewell blessings, than the sisters and masis sang a song in Bangali.
This was truly a blessing in my life to be a part of such an honoring role in the life of Lucy. I was able to visit Sonu's tomb and pray for his soul also and my day have been fully blessed with Christ with me always. Just trust and serve! There is much we don't know but faith is our answer. Love selflessly and you will be repaid abundantly through sharing the love and joy of Christ
The day finally came to an end around 8:30pm and I was headed back towards sudder street to finally get some dinner. Oh, by the way... I got to ride with the MC sisters in the Missionarity of Charity ambulance bus/van. It was pretty neat. Kolkata traffic is ridiculous though. And people honk for no reason.... you have a full on traffic jam but people still insist on honking and holding down their horn. It's weird/annoying. There's lanes in the road but nobody ever uses them. Anyways... thankyou everyone for your prayers. I don't know who all was praying but today was a total 180 for me! Thanks thanks and rest in God's love.
We will always fall, whether it's in selfishness, relationships, hurting others or not being an image of a true disciple of Christ. But we must remember the station of the Cross... and become an imitation of Christ and a servant like our Blessed Virgin Mary. Christ himself had to carry a cross; of suffering but of great love. He fell numberous times on his climb to calvary, but the glory is that he got back up every time. We must image this... for we are doomed to fall while carry our cross and burdens if Christ himself fell, but we must get back up to walk towards the foot of the cross on Calvary, towards redemption and salvation. God knows the plans for our lives... we must trust that where we're at is where God wants us... and fully heartedly pursue it as God's plan, if it's not His plan he will direct us otherwise. Whatever God has created no man can break. So let us trust in his plan and begin to live and serve everyone with Love.
This morning was one of the greatest time in my life; I got to spend hours in adoration and talk to Sister Drucsilla for a while and than return to adoration and than spend some time at Mother's Tomb. What more could I ask for... but that's exactly it. When you have love with you, you must act and God will put situations in your life so you will. I was headed back towads sudder street to get some lunch; i decided to help out the families rather than the popular resturants that I went to and bought from some sketchy store outside of the houses on the street. I bought something called Samosa and it was WHOOOOO yummy! they were a ruppee each... so what... 2 cents if even? So i paid 50% tip on the Samosa I bought. I got to sudder and I recieved some bad news. (I missed my morning session at Daya Dan... and had to find out during lunch)... Lucy (i don't know if i've mentioned her yet), but she's been in the hospital for 5 days since Sonu died. She also had a high fever and after Sonu, we couldn't risk anything. But today my friend Rosa came and told me Lucy died last night in the hospital. Lucy.... at age 9, also with extreme disability. I had spent time before helping her with physical therapy and bathing her. And couldn't believe what i heard. This was a shock for many of the volunteer, masis, and sisters.... two beautiful souls in one week. I rushed over to metro after recieve the news and got to Daya Dan as quick as I can. Mass was being held for her at 2:30 and i arrived just in time. Jesus truly present in the Eucharist and there he was before our beloved departed soul of Lucy. She laid not in a tomb but in exposition on a platform not to far from the Altar... facing the altar as if she was attending her last mass with us all. She laid there beautifull, clothed in the fines dress, with a ribbion in her hair and flowers covered her all around. At the end of mass I had the opportunity to come and say my final farewell. Nothing moved me more than love, I bowed before her body and rised in tears, placing my hand on her forehead I blessed her with the sign of the cross and the words that came out from me was "I love you Lucy". My soul rejoiced for her union with Christ but mourn the lost of a beloved friend. I bent over her body and kissed her forehead and tears came strolling down my face. "In the heaven there shall be no more tears" the pains of the world and suffering Lucy endured was finally brought to peace with Christ, as she spent her years united in Christ suffering already. My tears turned into tears of joy as I realized that eternal life has begun for her, and I smiled with tears running down my face.
After mass lightening and thunder struck and heavy rain began to pour... I had the opportunity to head back to sudder but decided I needed to go to the cemetary and help bury Lucy's body. Me and 11 other volunteers headed over in two taxi, the ride was about 30 minutes from Daya Dan to a Cemetary around Kalighat. When we arrived there were some delima about a signed signature that needed to be on a form. So there was an hour or more of a delay. By the time the grave was digged and everything was ready it was dark out, I was asked to be one of the 4 to carry her tomb. I carried it in disbelief but with great love, praying the whole way towards her grave site. We did a prayer over her tomb and than I was asked to help lower her into her grave and my heart was filled with much love as I lowered her down. I could not do anything on my own but only through the grace of God may he use me to be his instrument of peace and love. And my heart was filled with love. The sisters gave me miraculous medals to throw into the grave along with her tomb, it was blessed, and than i helped bury the tomb with my hands from the dirt the mounted beside it. The sisters gave me insences to place on the mound of dirt once her tomb was covered, and we layed flowers all over the mound. And covered illuminated her sites with candles as we sang farewell blessings, than the sisters and masis sang a song in Bangali.
This was truly a blessing in my life to be a part of such an honoring role in the life of Lucy. I was able to visit Sonu's tomb and pray for his soul also and my day have been fully blessed with Christ with me always. Just trust and serve! There is much we don't know but faith is our answer. Love selflessly and you will be repaid abundantly through sharing the love and joy of Christ
The day finally came to an end around 8:30pm and I was headed back towards sudder street to finally get some dinner. Oh, by the way... I got to ride with the MC sisters in the Missionarity of Charity ambulance bus/van. It was pretty neat. Kolkata traffic is ridiculous though. And people honk for no reason.... you have a full on traffic jam but people still insist on honking and holding down their horn. It's weird/annoying. There's lanes in the road but nobody ever uses them. Anyways... thankyou everyone for your prayers. I don't know who all was praying but today was a total 180 for me! Thanks thanks and rest in God's love.
1 comment:
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new." (Revelation 22:4-5a)
I should know better than to read all of this all at once- I'm at the Siena house bawling my eyes out as I follow your saga from day one.
God bless you abundantly, Tuan. You are such a beautiful witness to our faith.
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