I set my alarm this morning at 5:10... when I awoke it was pouring rain outside, so i figured... maybe i'll sleep in a little and see if it clears up. 5:30 I woke up and looked outside and the water was about calf-high water. I figured maybe today I'll miss mass and take the metro straight to Daya Dan... I woke up later at 6:30 and the water was now knee-high. The bottom hostel floor was flooded up to the door (which is raised... there's about 3 steps before you enter into the bottom floor's room.) I heard the metro was closed and figured today was another day off. All the volunteers I saw in the hotel room felt the same. Honestly, I felt kind of bad because yesterday I wasn't there in the morning and today I wasn't going either. I had a slow morning getting going and decided ... I'll end up getting wet anyways, so why not roam the streets. I went to go find a internet cafe around 9:30 this morning and many were closed but I found one open. It was so excited walking through the monsoon water but at the same time the most disgusting thing. There was garbage, poop, dead rats and all sorts of stuff floating in the water, and you had to brush by a lot of them while trudding through the water. I ended up eating at JoJo's for lunch and dinner (the closest place to my hostel). After lunch i was already wet walking from place to place so and i wanted to make it over to Mother house because i felt so lazy and useless today. So I walked through the streets that were flooded with all sorts of crap towards the mother house. I took the long way around (staying on the main streets) because I knew my usual route lead me by the dump, the cows, the slaughter house, and all sorts of junk in the water so I decided to walk around it all... it took about 30 minutes to get there and I was drenched by the time I reached Mother House. I meet up with Sr Karina along with about 10 other volunteers for a bible study/catechists class. Before I sister came I was roaming the room and stumbled across two book shevles full of books... opening it up I saw the best collections of catholic books I've ever seen. Scott Hahn's books, St loui Demontford, The dairy of St Faustina, Fulton Sheen, Immitation of Christ....the list goes on and on and every book i picked up I had the biggest grin on my face. I recommend to my friend Mazie; Rome Sweet Home because I thought she'd enjoy that and Sr Karina came by and was really excited that we were holding that book... so Mazie took it back to read, I barrowed "the World's First Love" by Fulton Sheen and was so excited I found it there because I was meaning to bring it.
Our bible study was amazing! We started off writing out some questions so sister can go through them for next week or so. And than there was a volunteer, Justin, that was with us that wasnt a Catholic and he had some of the most wonderful questions about the faith. The foundation of the Church and the Early Fathers, and on scripture/tradition. It was really wonderful and I was able to help explain somethings also. The teachings of Theology of the Body really help me explain a lot of things... such as the convanet (Jesus and mary), talked about apostolic sucession, and the fall of man. We brought up reconciliation when we were digging through Genesis 3, and Sister gave me the most beautiful examination of concious that we should reflect before reconciliation. And it was the questions that God asked Adam and Eve in chapter 3... when he came that evening and they were hidding. "Where are you?" "Who have you listened to" and "What are you doing?", I really connected with this and realize this is a way i need to prepare myself every night, since I do not know when the time will come, and also before every reconciliation... to recall where I'm at in life, where is my relationship with Christ at, to call out my deceptions, the faults i've bought into, and then recall my offenses against our lord. What a beautiful way to reflect our relationship with Christ.
Our study went a little late and Sr. Karina had to be at prayers but it was so fruitful and amazing that when she said, I'll see you next tuesday at four... I poutted. She looked over and said "do you guys want to have it more than once a week". Gleefully we all nooded! So Saturdays and Tuesdays at 4 are our bible study time! We're so blessed with Sr. Karina and many other MC sisters that give of their time to help us grow closer to Christ.
When Bible study was finished it was half an hour till adoration so I stayed around because I wanted to attend but didn't want to have to walk back to sudder than back to Mother house. Adoration was beautiful like always. During adoration lightening and thunder lit up the sky. And heavy rain come pouring down. We celebrated St. Thomas's feast day, a patron st of India. And apparently from what I heard from the MCsisters is that every year on his feast day it rains in Kolkata.
Walking home from Mother House at 8:30pm was quite the experience. I was dark out, pouring rain and water was knee-high. I had on a coat that got drenched with water and absolutely useless after 10 minutes in the rain. The sky would flash compeletly white and was followed by the rolling of thunder clashes, that rumbled my chest. I was terrified that lightening was going to hit the ground that was already flooded and that was I walking through and prayed all the way back towards sudder.
... Well I'm here safe, and had my dinner and now blogging. I really hope I'll be able to go to Daya Dan tomorrow. I hope the Metro is open, if not I'll need to try to take a taxi from Sudder or go to Mother House than take a bus and rickshaw through the water. yeah... it's amazing that the cars are still running and the manrickshaw/autorickshaw still runs through this deep water.
Well, the excitment starts! And it'll be a very inviting welcome for caitlin when she arrives in a couple of days but I'll be sure to pick her up from the airport. I also think that it'll die down within the next 5 days. I guess we'll just wait and see. Caitlin... no worries, it's going to be freak'n awesome here!
Tuan nguyen
Let our struggles and burdens be a way we become united in the passion of Christ.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Monday, July 2, 2007
Jesus truly present
My Lord is truly beautiful... and fully presences in the Holy Eucharist. Pray with trust in our Lord and he will give you comfort and resolution. Believe with your heart and you shall recieve. Today was a day that i will never forget. I woke up early to attend mass at 6. After mass I went to breakfast with the volunteer like usual but yesterrday Sr. Drucsilla asked if I wanted to talk tomorrow during/after breakfast. She saw right through me yesterday and knew my heart was burden. When all the volunteers left to go off to their assinged sites, I sat with Sister and talked about vocation, relationships, and many other things that I carried as a cross. She told me, "today, you will take the morning off... I want you to spend as much time with Jesus in prayer and he will give you an answer." I came upstair into an empty chapel with the tabernacle centered and the statue of our Blessed Mother to the right and I began to pray. An hour after the novist came in (in groups of 9-15; since there are almost 50-100 of them) they each spent an hour in adoration and did rotations... I had a hard time trying to hear God in my prayer and continued to pray.... "Jesus come... Mary guide me to your Son..." It's so hard to focus when the Mother House is right next to one of the busiest streets in town. Cars, horn, and people shouting started out distracting me but soon it faded, and I was alone with Christ in the blessed Sacrament of the Altar; The Eucharist. I forgot I was there before the Novist and sisters and began to pray and pray; for direction, for trust, and to be more closely united to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. All i've seen before is the foolishness of my desire, the desire of worldly things; of the impulses of the flesh but the height of wisdom is to set your goal on heaven by not being bound to worldly desire... the materialistic things we'll soon loose and the value of it looses it's value; the desire to act on the impluse of our flesh only counterfiets what God has waiting for us; whether it's marriage or relgious/holy order. No human flesh or relationship can be our ultimate end but the flesh and blood of etneral life offered at the crucifiction and in the Eucharist will bring true eternal life for our soul. Only through Christ may any relationship be perfected. I must love Jesus above and before all things to be able to love fully and reciprocate the love to others. I am all His and any relationship only helps point me to my ultimate end. I prayed and prayed... and when I was just getting ready to really begin and ask for intentions and signs. The novist had finished their whole session. I just spent 5 hours in adoration and it felt like minutes. I was able to pray for intercession from our Blessed Virgin Mary and did all 4 mysteries of the rosary. May soul rejoiced in God my saviour and i was illuminating with great gratitude of the Love shown by Christ on Calvary. Sr. Druscilla asked me to come back downstair so we could talk some more to hear where I've come in prayers. I won't say much but God has given me the guidance in my meditation.
We will always fall, whether it's in selfishness, relationships, hurting others or not being an image of a true disciple of Christ. But we must remember the station of the Cross... and become an imitation of Christ and a servant like our Blessed Virgin Mary. Christ himself had to carry a cross; of suffering but of great love. He fell numberous times on his climb to calvary, but the glory is that he got back up every time. We must image this... for we are doomed to fall while carry our cross and burdens if Christ himself fell, but we must get back up to walk towards the foot of the cross on Calvary, towards redemption and salvation. God knows the plans for our lives... we must trust that where we're at is where God wants us... and fully heartedly pursue it as God's plan, if it's not His plan he will direct us otherwise. Whatever God has created no man can break. So let us trust in his plan and begin to live and serve everyone with Love.
This morning was one of the greatest time in my life; I got to spend hours in adoration and talk to Sister Drucsilla for a while and than return to adoration and than spend some time at Mother's Tomb. What more could I ask for... but that's exactly it. When you have love with you, you must act and God will put situations in your life so you will. I was headed back towads sudder street to get some lunch; i decided to help out the families rather than the popular resturants that I went to and bought from some sketchy store outside of the houses on the street. I bought something called Samosa and it was WHOOOOO yummy! they were a ruppee each... so what... 2 cents if even? So i paid 50% tip on the Samosa I bought. I got to sudder and I recieved some bad news. (I missed my morning session at Daya Dan... and had to find out during lunch)... Lucy (i don't know if i've mentioned her yet), but she's been in the hospital for 5 days since Sonu died. She also had a high fever and after Sonu, we couldn't risk anything. But today my friend Rosa came and told me Lucy died last night in the hospital. Lucy.... at age 9, also with extreme disability. I had spent time before helping her with physical therapy and bathing her. And couldn't believe what i heard. This was a shock for many of the volunteer, masis, and sisters.... two beautiful souls in one week. I rushed over to metro after recieve the news and got to Daya Dan as quick as I can. Mass was being held for her at 2:30 and i arrived just in time. Jesus truly present in the Eucharist and there he was before our beloved departed soul of Lucy. She laid not in a tomb but in exposition on a platform not to far from the Altar... facing the altar as if she was attending her last mass with us all. She laid there beautifull, clothed in the fines dress, with a ribbion in her hair and flowers covered her all around. At the end of mass I had the opportunity to come and say my final farewell. Nothing moved me more than love, I bowed before her body and rised in tears, placing my hand on her forehead I blessed her with the sign of the cross and the words that came out from me was "I love you Lucy". My soul rejoiced for her union with Christ but mourn the lost of a beloved friend. I bent over her body and kissed her forehead and tears came strolling down my face. "In the heaven there shall be no more tears" the pains of the world and suffering Lucy endured was finally brought to peace with Christ, as she spent her years united in Christ suffering already. My tears turned into tears of joy as I realized that eternal life has begun for her, and I smiled with tears running down my face.
After mass lightening and thunder struck and heavy rain began to pour... I had the opportunity to head back to sudder but decided I needed to go to the cemetary and help bury Lucy's body. Me and 11 other volunteers headed over in two taxi, the ride was about 30 minutes from Daya Dan to a Cemetary around Kalighat. When we arrived there were some delima about a signed signature that needed to be on a form. So there was an hour or more of a delay. By the time the grave was digged and everything was ready it was dark out, I was asked to be one of the 4 to carry her tomb. I carried it in disbelief but with great love, praying the whole way towards her grave site. We did a prayer over her tomb and than I was asked to help lower her into her grave and my heart was filled with much love as I lowered her down. I could not do anything on my own but only through the grace of God may he use me to be his instrument of peace and love. And my heart was filled with love. The sisters gave me miraculous medals to throw into the grave along with her tomb, it was blessed, and than i helped bury the tomb with my hands from the dirt the mounted beside it. The sisters gave me insences to place on the mound of dirt once her tomb was covered, and we layed flowers all over the mound. And covered illuminated her sites with candles as we sang farewell blessings, than the sisters and masis sang a song in Bangali.
This was truly a blessing in my life to be a part of such an honoring role in the life of Lucy. I was able to visit Sonu's tomb and pray for his soul also and my day have been fully blessed with Christ with me always. Just trust and serve! There is much we don't know but faith is our answer. Love selflessly and you will be repaid abundantly through sharing the love and joy of Christ
The day finally came to an end around 8:30pm and I was headed back towards sudder street to finally get some dinner. Oh, by the way... I got to ride with the MC sisters in the Missionarity of Charity ambulance bus/van. It was pretty neat. Kolkata traffic is ridiculous though. And people honk for no reason.... you have a full on traffic jam but people still insist on honking and holding down their horn. It's weird/annoying. There's lanes in the road but nobody ever uses them. Anyways... thankyou everyone for your prayers. I don't know who all was praying but today was a total 180 for me! Thanks thanks and rest in God's love.
We will always fall, whether it's in selfishness, relationships, hurting others or not being an image of a true disciple of Christ. But we must remember the station of the Cross... and become an imitation of Christ and a servant like our Blessed Virgin Mary. Christ himself had to carry a cross; of suffering but of great love. He fell numberous times on his climb to calvary, but the glory is that he got back up every time. We must image this... for we are doomed to fall while carry our cross and burdens if Christ himself fell, but we must get back up to walk towards the foot of the cross on Calvary, towards redemption and salvation. God knows the plans for our lives... we must trust that where we're at is where God wants us... and fully heartedly pursue it as God's plan, if it's not His plan he will direct us otherwise. Whatever God has created no man can break. So let us trust in his plan and begin to live and serve everyone with Love.
This morning was one of the greatest time in my life; I got to spend hours in adoration and talk to Sister Drucsilla for a while and than return to adoration and than spend some time at Mother's Tomb. What more could I ask for... but that's exactly it. When you have love with you, you must act and God will put situations in your life so you will. I was headed back towads sudder street to get some lunch; i decided to help out the families rather than the popular resturants that I went to and bought from some sketchy store outside of the houses on the street. I bought something called Samosa and it was WHOOOOO yummy! they were a ruppee each... so what... 2 cents if even? So i paid 50% tip on the Samosa I bought. I got to sudder and I recieved some bad news. (I missed my morning session at Daya Dan... and had to find out during lunch)... Lucy (i don't know if i've mentioned her yet), but she's been in the hospital for 5 days since Sonu died. She also had a high fever and after Sonu, we couldn't risk anything. But today my friend Rosa came and told me Lucy died last night in the hospital. Lucy.... at age 9, also with extreme disability. I had spent time before helping her with physical therapy and bathing her. And couldn't believe what i heard. This was a shock for many of the volunteer, masis, and sisters.... two beautiful souls in one week. I rushed over to metro after recieve the news and got to Daya Dan as quick as I can. Mass was being held for her at 2:30 and i arrived just in time. Jesus truly present in the Eucharist and there he was before our beloved departed soul of Lucy. She laid not in a tomb but in exposition on a platform not to far from the Altar... facing the altar as if she was attending her last mass with us all. She laid there beautifull, clothed in the fines dress, with a ribbion in her hair and flowers covered her all around. At the end of mass I had the opportunity to come and say my final farewell. Nothing moved me more than love, I bowed before her body and rised in tears, placing my hand on her forehead I blessed her with the sign of the cross and the words that came out from me was "I love you Lucy". My soul rejoiced for her union with Christ but mourn the lost of a beloved friend. I bent over her body and kissed her forehead and tears came strolling down my face. "In the heaven there shall be no more tears" the pains of the world and suffering Lucy endured was finally brought to peace with Christ, as she spent her years united in Christ suffering already. My tears turned into tears of joy as I realized that eternal life has begun for her, and I smiled with tears running down my face.
After mass lightening and thunder struck and heavy rain began to pour... I had the opportunity to head back to sudder but decided I needed to go to the cemetary and help bury Lucy's body. Me and 11 other volunteers headed over in two taxi, the ride was about 30 minutes from Daya Dan to a Cemetary around Kalighat. When we arrived there were some delima about a signed signature that needed to be on a form. So there was an hour or more of a delay. By the time the grave was digged and everything was ready it was dark out, I was asked to be one of the 4 to carry her tomb. I carried it in disbelief but with great love, praying the whole way towards her grave site. We did a prayer over her tomb and than I was asked to help lower her into her grave and my heart was filled with much love as I lowered her down. I could not do anything on my own but only through the grace of God may he use me to be his instrument of peace and love. And my heart was filled with love. The sisters gave me miraculous medals to throw into the grave along with her tomb, it was blessed, and than i helped bury the tomb with my hands from the dirt the mounted beside it. The sisters gave me insences to place on the mound of dirt once her tomb was covered, and we layed flowers all over the mound. And covered illuminated her sites with candles as we sang farewell blessings, than the sisters and masis sang a song in Bangali.
This was truly a blessing in my life to be a part of such an honoring role in the life of Lucy. I was able to visit Sonu's tomb and pray for his soul also and my day have been fully blessed with Christ with me always. Just trust and serve! There is much we don't know but faith is our answer. Love selflessly and you will be repaid abundantly through sharing the love and joy of Christ
The day finally came to an end around 8:30pm and I was headed back towards sudder street to finally get some dinner. Oh, by the way... I got to ride with the MC sisters in the Missionarity of Charity ambulance bus/van. It was pretty neat. Kolkata traffic is ridiculous though. And people honk for no reason.... you have a full on traffic jam but people still insist on honking and holding down their horn. It's weird/annoying. There's lanes in the road but nobody ever uses them. Anyways... thankyou everyone for your prayers. I don't know who all was praying but today was a total 180 for me! Thanks thanks and rest in God's love.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Nabo Jibon
yesterday evening I had a lady stop me and ask for milk for her baby... after joking around with her for a bit (in Bangali!!!) I got her to admit that the child wasn't even hers. The child was dressed in girls clothing to make him seem more adorable for more begging... it's pretty sad that a lot of these beggers spend their life begging. I told her she couuld easily get a job because she speaks english well. But the lifestyle really isn't for her. The begging money is spent like any money of any occupation. A child I saw o n the street that was begging was bragging at me while we're in the cinemas because they got box seats..., it's rather funny or maybe not how we often think that we're helping but as the sister say it may cause them to be dependant on this lifestyle of begging and dishonesty. Anyways... I ended up not buying her milk in fear she was going to resale it but I told her I'll be her and her children dinner if they joined me.. so we sat and talked over dinner. i'm not sure if I did the right thing but she was pretty honest with me afterwards that a lot of it was an act.
As for today, it's been a really off day for me. Although, I went to bed early last night but I didn't want to get out of bed this morning and I missed morning mass because although i set the time of my alarm I forgot to turned it on, (there's still mass this afternoon at St. Mary's luckily). Well, I finally managed to get out at 7:10 to catch my bus to Nabo Jibon (where the MC brothers stay). It was a 30 minutes bus ride; we crossed one of the largest bridge in India.. i forget it's name. Nabo Jibon was amazing, it was for the street children to come in and have fun on Sunday. Today what it my day consisted of was hanging out with the kids and letting them climb all over me, and kicking their butts at arm wrestling. The kids loved me because they were so fascinated that I had braccess. I ended up playing soccer with the kids on this flat mud courtyard. It was extremely dirty, covered with moss, Doggy Caca, and plenty of mud spots. We played barefeet and I was a king because i scored 6 points of the team. The kids are really skilled as the volunteered often fell on the asses on this slippery field. I'm not sure if I'm homesick or what... but my heart wasn't fully there today and I kept trying to give more but was so lazy and in dazed. I ended up going upstairs and asking the MC Brothers if I could take time to pray. I spent a long while in prayer and still more to come. Returning for my prayer break the children were getting ready for lunch. It was the most adorable thing ever! They all sat lined up in two lines in the courtyard and we went around giving them, rice, cury, an egg, and water. It was sooo great seeing them all happy. After the meal the kids left and the volunteers stayed to have lunch with the MC Brothers. It was two of the brothers birthday and so there were two cakes and two candles... we sang happy birthday and did some blessings. After my meal I had the most amazing mango ever... in America, it doesn't even come close to compare. Well, the day is half way done but there's still much for me to do. I'm going to head back to the Mother House and do a couple hours of prayers and adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament and Mother's Tomb and than mass at 6. For the remaining of the night... i'm not sure, maybe hit the hay early. I just feel so drained all day from the moment i woke. Keep me in your prayers. I'm excited for Caitlin to come next week, because it kind of sucks to be a lone traveller when you're in a funk and just want to mellow out and talk but rather you go to the internet cafe to write on a blog or email (no offense). Anyways I'm out... take it easy! God bless and thankyou so much for all your support and prayers!
Tuan
May God give me the strength to trust.
As for today, it's been a really off day for me. Although, I went to bed early last night but I didn't want to get out of bed this morning and I missed morning mass because although i set the time of my alarm I forgot to turned it on, (there's still mass this afternoon at St. Mary's luckily). Well, I finally managed to get out at 7:10 to catch my bus to Nabo Jibon (where the MC brothers stay). It was a 30 minutes bus ride; we crossed one of the largest bridge in India.. i forget it's name. Nabo Jibon was amazing, it was for the street children to come in and have fun on Sunday. Today what it my day consisted of was hanging out with the kids and letting them climb all over me, and kicking their butts at arm wrestling. The kids loved me because they were so fascinated that I had braccess. I ended up playing soccer with the kids on this flat mud courtyard. It was extremely dirty, covered with moss, Doggy Caca, and plenty of mud spots. We played barefeet and I was a king because i scored 6 points of the team. The kids are really skilled as the volunteered often fell on the asses on this slippery field. I'm not sure if I'm homesick or what... but my heart wasn't fully there today and I kept trying to give more but was so lazy and in dazed. I ended up going upstairs and asking the MC Brothers if I could take time to pray. I spent a long while in prayer and still more to come. Returning for my prayer break the children were getting ready for lunch. It was the most adorable thing ever! They all sat lined up in two lines in the courtyard and we went around giving them, rice, cury, an egg, and water. It was sooo great seeing them all happy. After the meal the kids left and the volunteers stayed to have lunch with the MC Brothers. It was two of the brothers birthday and so there were two cakes and two candles... we sang happy birthday and did some blessings. After my meal I had the most amazing mango ever... in America, it doesn't even come close to compare. Well, the day is half way done but there's still much for me to do. I'm going to head back to the Mother House and do a couple hours of prayers and adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament and Mother's Tomb and than mass at 6. For the remaining of the night... i'm not sure, maybe hit the hay early. I just feel so drained all day from the moment i woke. Keep me in your prayers. I'm excited for Caitlin to come next week, because it kind of sucks to be a lone traveller when you're in a funk and just want to mellow out and talk but rather you go to the internet cafe to write on a blog or email (no offense). Anyways I'm out... take it easy! God bless and thankyou so much for all your support and prayers!
Tuan
May God give me the strength to trust.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Children loves music
Yesterday evening my gas from Ireland at the Salvation Army decided to take me out to have some fun, since my friend Donna knew I was down about Sonu yesterday. I took a nap yesterday afternoon so I knew i'd be able to stay up at least till 10pm. So what did we do?.... movie theater! We went to go see Die Hard 4! and it was amazing! The movie was entertaining, but i thinking it was more entertaining that I was at a movie theater in India. They were selling coffee, potato chips, coke, and all sorts of things at the movie theater. There was even a bar at the movie theater. My friend got me some coffee and it was .. yummy! The place is called Brista, right next to the cinema. The movie was fun to watch because it was so neat how the people in India reacted in the movie theater. (I can also see why they think white skin people are "easy" because probably by the media ... all that is protrayed is sexuality rather than dignity) but besides that factor, it was sooo funny to be in a theater with a whole bunch of locals. They would clap and cheer when something exciting happens and everytime they did I couldn't help but laugh. It totally made it for me.
Today I woke up in time for mass at Mother House, i was running a little late because i was suppose to meet a friend to walk to Mother house... that never woke up; so I ended up taking a taxi with the French to Mother House because they were running late and 3 of the guys were altar serving.
Daya Dan today was different because I worked downstair more today. Fr. Jesu-Bondu (in hindi/bangali it means Fr. Jesus is my friend), he was leaving today and he's been the music minstry man for the children. He's a fransican and pretty hardcore. Very strict with the kids but they love him and respect him. During the morning I practiced some songs with Mongol, an orphan that is extremely skinny and too weak to stand, he's in a wheel chair but he's extremely smart. He has no learning disabilities and loves music. I had him come help me with teaching the children the songs today. It's so amazing to watch the children sing. Or count, or say the ABC. It's great!
Afterwards I helped Bashker with some physcial therapy. He's improving a lot in the sense he's not crying about it anymore. He use to cry nonstop when he has to do anything that was trying to help him gain leg muscles (he's pretty lazy... he just likes to lay down or cuddled with... which is very tempting for me). The physical therapist comes in every saturday and was impressed that he was crying when i was working with him, I told them that he's been doing pretty well the past few days and I think we all agreed. Honestly, Bashker is the cutest little 3 year old ever! he's soooooooooooo incredibly studly. When I hold him, I litterally can hold him by a hand. He just throws himself over my shoulders and cling on. And he for surely do cling on... he has such a strong grip and I swear, he's digging finger marks into my skin, tearing out my ears, and pulling out my hair. Strong little guy and sooooooo adorable!
Instead of feeding today I stayed with Angeli. She's sick in her crib and it breaks my heart to see her like so. Already, she's the skinniest thing ever.. tiny little gal, but it just moves me when i see all these tubes, IV or whatever you call them connected to her and she just lay emotionlessly. I sat by her bed and played to her on the guitar and sang. Songs after songs, i sat there and comforted her. And she would turn her head to look at me. As I was singing, we locked eyes, and I stared into her deep brown eyes trying to convey her that I love her... we stayed staring at each other for several long minutes passing a silent message of love. I finished singing/playing the song but we still sat gazing at each other and I knew that she knew that she was loved. I got up and walked out of the room and her head followed me out and I turned back and stood staring back into her eyes at the doorway. God puts so many precious moments in our lives, we just need to slow down to see them. Or have the eyes of a child to recognize them.
On the way home from Daya Dan the volunteers and I passed an old man with his head slit open gushing with blood. It was far more than what we can handle with some gauzes/bandage or ointment, so we got him to the hospital to get him stichted up and paid for the fee, i didn't get to stay to see the final outcome of him getting stiched, i had to get back in time to meet Abani at 1. Abani is a school teacher for a group of 40 plus students in a small village 3 hours away from Kolkata by train. I've been learning Hindi and Bangali from him. Which is pretty exciting. So far I've only learned some basics, but the locals are pretty impressed with the slightest hindi/bangali words coming from a foreigner.
Rushing back to meet Abani, I had some delay because of my metro ticket. It wasn't scanning and I bought a ticket card with 12 rides and I've only used it for 2, so i had to get it refunded. Needless to say... it made me late by 7 minutes to meet Abani, and when i arrived he wasn't there. I'm not sure if he ever showed up or not... but he wasn't there. Well, tomorrow I think I'll be able to work alongside the brothers of Charity and maybe able to work with street children. So i'll be sure to fill you guys all on if it happens.
Thankyou for spending time reading and keeping in touch with me. It means a lot to me. Sorry for all those that want to see more pictures. I haven't been taking many pictures, you're not really allowed to take pictures at these various homes because, key word, they're someone homes... and it's not a musseum. The same goes with the Mother House. Today I did get to witness something absolutely beautiful and captivating after mass this morning. When I came out of mass (we have mass on the second floor of the Mother House), there were all the novist (probably about 100+) they all gathered in the courtyard and sang to a mother that was adopting one of the orphans. It was sooo beautiful! I really wish i was able to take a picture of all these novist and MC sisters or even better... record it on my video camera. Well, i guess that just means everyone who's reading my blog just need to make their way over to Kolkata, India and see it for themself. Alrighty, take care and God bless. May we be a light of Christ to all those we encounter!
Tuan Nguyen
Today I woke up in time for mass at Mother House, i was running a little late because i was suppose to meet a friend to walk to Mother house... that never woke up; so I ended up taking a taxi with the French to Mother House because they were running late and 3 of the guys were altar serving.
Daya Dan today was different because I worked downstair more today. Fr. Jesu-Bondu (in hindi/bangali it means Fr. Jesus is my friend), he was leaving today and he's been the music minstry man for the children. He's a fransican and pretty hardcore. Very strict with the kids but they love him and respect him. During the morning I practiced some songs with Mongol, an orphan that is extremely skinny and too weak to stand, he's in a wheel chair but he's extremely smart. He has no learning disabilities and loves music. I had him come help me with teaching the children the songs today. It's so amazing to watch the children sing. Or count, or say the ABC. It's great!
Afterwards I helped Bashker with some physcial therapy. He's improving a lot in the sense he's not crying about it anymore. He use to cry nonstop when he has to do anything that was trying to help him gain leg muscles (he's pretty lazy... he just likes to lay down or cuddled with... which is very tempting for me). The physical therapist comes in every saturday and was impressed that he was crying when i was working with him, I told them that he's been doing pretty well the past few days and I think we all agreed. Honestly, Bashker is the cutest little 3 year old ever! he's soooooooooooo incredibly studly. When I hold him, I litterally can hold him by a hand. He just throws himself over my shoulders and cling on. And he for surely do cling on... he has such a strong grip and I swear, he's digging finger marks into my skin, tearing out my ears, and pulling out my hair. Strong little guy and sooooooo adorable!
Instead of feeding today I stayed with Angeli. She's sick in her crib and it breaks my heart to see her like so. Already, she's the skinniest thing ever.. tiny little gal, but it just moves me when i see all these tubes, IV or whatever you call them connected to her and she just lay emotionlessly. I sat by her bed and played to her on the guitar and sang. Songs after songs, i sat there and comforted her. And she would turn her head to look at me. As I was singing, we locked eyes, and I stared into her deep brown eyes trying to convey her that I love her... we stayed staring at each other for several long minutes passing a silent message of love. I finished singing/playing the song but we still sat gazing at each other and I knew that she knew that she was loved. I got up and walked out of the room and her head followed me out and I turned back and stood staring back into her eyes at the doorway. God puts so many precious moments in our lives, we just need to slow down to see them. Or have the eyes of a child to recognize them.
On the way home from Daya Dan the volunteers and I passed an old man with his head slit open gushing with blood. It was far more than what we can handle with some gauzes/bandage or ointment, so we got him to the hospital to get him stichted up and paid for the fee, i didn't get to stay to see the final outcome of him getting stiched, i had to get back in time to meet Abani at 1. Abani is a school teacher for a group of 40 plus students in a small village 3 hours away from Kolkata by train. I've been learning Hindi and Bangali from him. Which is pretty exciting. So far I've only learned some basics, but the locals are pretty impressed with the slightest hindi/bangali words coming from a foreigner.
Rushing back to meet Abani, I had some delay because of my metro ticket. It wasn't scanning and I bought a ticket card with 12 rides and I've only used it for 2, so i had to get it refunded. Needless to say... it made me late by 7 minutes to meet Abani, and when i arrived he wasn't there. I'm not sure if he ever showed up or not... but he wasn't there. Well, tomorrow I think I'll be able to work alongside the brothers of Charity and maybe able to work with street children. So i'll be sure to fill you guys all on if it happens.
Thankyou for spending time reading and keeping in touch with me. It means a lot to me. Sorry for all those that want to see more pictures. I haven't been taking many pictures, you're not really allowed to take pictures at these various homes because, key word, they're someone homes... and it's not a musseum. The same goes with the Mother House. Today I did get to witness something absolutely beautiful and captivating after mass this morning. When I came out of mass (we have mass on the second floor of the Mother House), there were all the novist (probably about 100+) they all gathered in the courtyard and sang to a mother that was adopting one of the orphans. It was sooo beautiful! I really wish i was able to take a picture of all these novist and MC sisters or even better... record it on my video camera. Well, i guess that just means everyone who's reading my blog just need to make their way over to Kolkata, India and see it for themself. Alrighty, take care and God bless. May we be a light of Christ to all those we encounter!
Tuan Nguyen
Friday, June 29, 2007
Beloved, Sonu
Last night I ended up not going out to the movies... twice have I tried to go out to relax and both times didn't follow through, but no problem. We found out the movie started at 5:30 and at the time it was already 5:15... plus we needed time to get there. Instead my friend Kiki took me out and showed me the singing lights. Which is absolutley beautiful. It's pretty much a fountain show set to music and colored lights but still it was just so relaxing. It's in the middle of Kolkata and right next to Victoria's momument which is sooo beautiful, I must go and check out Victoria when Caitlin, Briana or Corina gets here. It's quite a sight. I've been getting into many theological discussions here in Kolkata. Whether it's with the MC sisters, the volunteers, or sometimes the locals. Either way it's been spiritually fruitful, many times I don't believe it's anything I can do or say... but i must be a channel for God's words be used through me.
I told Sr Capita on wednesady that I was going to try to make mass at 6am at Daya Dan Friday morning; which meant I had to be up before 5 and find a ride or way to get over to Daya Dan. I was standing in front of Mother House by 5:30.... 30 minutes later, still no bus that was headed towards Manicula. I really should of taken the metro, I don't know what I was thinking. Sadly, it was too late to try to make it to mass at Daya Dan so I went to mass at the Mother House and had breakfast with the volunteers.
On the way to Daya Dan I recieved some news.I wasn't sure what to believe; but thinking of the possibility and realizing that none of the volunteer here would lie to me about this... I begin to tear up on the bus. Before, my tears has always been tears of joy; smiling contagiously at the blessed sacrament at Mass, adoration and praying at Mother's tomb. But today... my tears struck me with sorrow. As I fought to hold it back, wiping tears from my eyes and turning my head facing the window of the bus. When I arrived at Daya Dan I went straight to the cribs where Sonu would be. When I entered the room, Mala (one of the Masis), came and told me that Sonu passed away minutes after I left on Wednesday. Last wednesday while I was feeding him, he was extremely sick with a very high fever. It didn't even cross my mind that this may be his last day. But with many difficulities and poor immune system, something as simple for us as a fever may be as costly for those with such circumstance. I took a deep breath and tried to go on with my work. Mala, along with the other Masis and MC sisters, knew how much I loved Sonu and knew that it was important to let me know. I was silent and the knew how I felt. No tears... but i was fighting it. My worldly view of life was selfish and I could't let it take over myself, especially letting it get in the way of the work of the Masis and MC sisters. Life is beautiful and death is even more beautiful when you know that a life with Christ awaits after death. When you fought a good battle all your life, for 13 years, unable to speak, walk, sit up on your own, feed yourself, move anything besides your head and arms, You've fought your battle and hung in so others may learn how to love. You've finsihed the race. I do not doubt the Sonu spent his purgatory here on earth. And I do believe that through our suffering we are united to Christ's passion on the crucifix.
Everything else during the day seem dazed... i helped with physical therapy for 6 month old Bashker, and help with music for the children downstairs... but i had a part of me die to sorrow. I'm learning how to view death as being beautiful, but my selfishness, and blindness to a greater plan leaves me broken in sadness. When lunch came around, I came into the room with those children with deformity and servere mental difficulties, one of the volunteers asked me "where's sonu, is he sick? I haven't seen him all day." I was couldn't help but leave the room, going outside on the balcony to recollect myself. Tears came easily but by the grace of God, I had the strength soon to come back and continue loving and feeding others that needs the same attention and love. There is much love that needs to be given in the world. If we have great love of God with us, and do not put that love into action our life is empty. If we keep love to ourself, we have nothing to gain but everything to lose. Love is eternal and connects us with those eternally. Love is our light to those who live in darkness. There's not a better time than now for me to pray to our Blessed Virgin Mary, for she was there at the foot of the cross for our Lord when he suffered willingly motivated by love; love for the world. Life is beautiful, and never is about how long you live but truly the lives you touch and how you live it. Sonu have touched my life profoundly in the short time i've known him. Teaching me how to love, and how to be humble. Now teaching me the beauty of life and life after death. I'm really sorry that i can't write more... because the more i write, the more I tear up. And I'm fighting it hard as I'm sittig here at the Internet cafe. So please pray for the our beloved Sonu, that his soul may rest finally in the peace and love of Christ. Pray for the MC sisters, Masis, and volunteers that our work will always be for God and that we may always remember that God has the greater plan. I love you all, and God bless your heart.
I told Sr Capita on wednesady that I was going to try to make mass at 6am at Daya Dan Friday morning; which meant I had to be up before 5 and find a ride or way to get over to Daya Dan. I was standing in front of Mother House by 5:30.... 30 minutes later, still no bus that was headed towards Manicula. I really should of taken the metro, I don't know what I was thinking. Sadly, it was too late to try to make it to mass at Daya Dan so I went to mass at the Mother House and had breakfast with the volunteers.
On the way to Daya Dan I recieved some news.I wasn't sure what to believe; but thinking of the possibility and realizing that none of the volunteer here would lie to me about this... I begin to tear up on the bus. Before, my tears has always been tears of joy; smiling contagiously at the blessed sacrament at Mass, adoration and praying at Mother's tomb. But today... my tears struck me with sorrow. As I fought to hold it back, wiping tears from my eyes and turning my head facing the window of the bus. When I arrived at Daya Dan I went straight to the cribs where Sonu would be. When I entered the room, Mala (one of the Masis), came and told me that Sonu passed away minutes after I left on Wednesday. Last wednesday while I was feeding him, he was extremely sick with a very high fever. It didn't even cross my mind that this may be his last day. But with many difficulities and poor immune system, something as simple for us as a fever may be as costly for those with such circumstance. I took a deep breath and tried to go on with my work. Mala, along with the other Masis and MC sisters, knew how much I loved Sonu and knew that it was important to let me know. I was silent and the knew how I felt. No tears... but i was fighting it. My worldly view of life was selfish and I could't let it take over myself, especially letting it get in the way of the work of the Masis and MC sisters. Life is beautiful and death is even more beautiful when you know that a life with Christ awaits after death. When you fought a good battle all your life, for 13 years, unable to speak, walk, sit up on your own, feed yourself, move anything besides your head and arms, You've fought your battle and hung in so others may learn how to love. You've finsihed the race. I do not doubt the Sonu spent his purgatory here on earth. And I do believe that through our suffering we are united to Christ's passion on the crucifix.
Everything else during the day seem dazed... i helped with physical therapy for 6 month old Bashker, and help with music for the children downstairs... but i had a part of me die to sorrow. I'm learning how to view death as being beautiful, but my selfishness, and blindness to a greater plan leaves me broken in sadness. When lunch came around, I came into the room with those children with deformity and servere mental difficulties, one of the volunteers asked me "where's sonu, is he sick? I haven't seen him all day." I was couldn't help but leave the room, going outside on the balcony to recollect myself. Tears came easily but by the grace of God, I had the strength soon to come back and continue loving and feeding others that needs the same attention and love. There is much love that needs to be given in the world. If we have great love of God with us, and do not put that love into action our life is empty. If we keep love to ourself, we have nothing to gain but everything to lose. Love is eternal and connects us with those eternally. Love is our light to those who live in darkness. There's not a better time than now for me to pray to our Blessed Virgin Mary, for she was there at the foot of the cross for our Lord when he suffered willingly motivated by love; love for the world. Life is beautiful, and never is about how long you live but truly the lives you touch and how you live it. Sonu have touched my life profoundly in the short time i've known him. Teaching me how to love, and how to be humble. Now teaching me the beauty of life and life after death. I'm really sorry that i can't write more... because the more i write, the more I tear up. And I'm fighting it hard as I'm sittig here at the Internet cafe. So please pray for the our beloved Sonu, that his soul may rest finally in the peace and love of Christ. Pray for the MC sisters, Masis, and volunteers that our work will always be for God and that we may always remember that God has the greater plan. I love you all, and God bless your heart.
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