India 2007-2008: Love Has No Measures...

sry yal...

2008-08-22T04:26:00.000-07:00

hey guys!

so i've come to the conclusion that bloging is possibly not my strongest suit. yeah honestly i kind of suck at it. its all right though because i've been keeping a pretty good journal and taking lots of crazy pictures. so i figure that any of you can just ask me all the questions you want and i'll be able to tell me all the stories you want to hear. However, to day i thought i'd give you a short little update.

so what’s been happening in the world of India, or at least my world of india... well its been just over 7 weeks now sense i left American soil and it feels like i've been in India for ages and like the days have flow; i feel like i've done and seen so much and so little, all at the same time. I've seen several temples, a run off of the Ganges river, a crazy cute bollywood movie, an amazing leprosy colony( and wounded people like i 've never seen and probably never will again) , played soccer/ climb on the foreigners with some adorable street children, had some good times with some amazing people from all around the world, traveled to Diamond harbor (what a trip), and continue to be reminded daily how hard i don't have to work and how much i don't have to worry in order to simply survive each day, compared to so many people here and around the world. Yet do how much i have and continue to receive, i've done and given back so little. Its over whelming some times the amount of people that end up in such dire, corrupt situations and appear to need so much help. yet, its just as astonishing how much you can receive from someone who you thought needed so much from you. but the numbers really shouldn't matter, we must keep fighting, around the world and at home, receiving and giving.

so any who, on a lighter note, sadly no longer working at Khaligat. but instead i'm at Shishu Bhavan and i lov it! I work with young kids, probably between the ages of 4 and 9. all of them have sever mental and physical disabilities. we spend our time there changing beds, changing the kids, feeding them , and playing with them/ doing exercise with them. is great. the kids, the masis (the native indian women who work there), the sisters, and the volunteers are all so nice.

anyway, that’s all i got for now and i'm praying for you all back home. you 've all been on my mind, especially since my time is soon coming to an end. it will be hard to leave but it will be good to come to the good old washington (not DC, as i say here).
all my lov always and God bless!

a real dream come true

2008-07-26T04:25:00.000-07:00

hey guys! sry its been so long since i've written anything, i still lov u all. anyway, first off a little update. so i'm alive and well- in many senses of the word- and back in kolkata. we've been back about week now, and im not gona lie it took a little adjusting. Raiganj was so lovely and so peaceful compared to kolkata. i had come to know the people there as friendly, hospitable, and real fellow human beings. that is harder to do here; Fr.Puthumai is not here to introduce us too anyone and a lot of the interactions you first have with locals here is them nagging you or staring at you. honestly though, they are real people, struggling to survive. In fact that is probably one of my favorite part of this whole experience- the reality of it. i've been here for over three weeks now but i still occasionally have moments that take me back and i'm reminded that i'm here, all the way across the world, i made it. its real, so real. i've been working in Khaligat a lot lately. that is mothers first love, the world wide famous home for the dying and destitute. there, on the women’s side where i work, lie real women. real people, with real suffering, real laughter, real tears, real wounds inside and out, real affection, real hearts, real beauty. here, in this place i have found real culture, real faith, and i have witnessed Mother Teresa's legacy of real lov. what more could i ever ask for, then to be here in this place with these people? amidst some challenging, unpredicted obstacles and the needed growing pains they have brought, this is truly my dream come true. how could i ask for more?

Along side Khaligat, i also want to Nirmala Bhavan yesterday (bout an hr bus ride from mother house, it a home for young children, with babies on one floor and round 4, 5 year olds upstairs all of whom are totally healthy) and Daya Don Both of them where so great. i really miss the chilins. well i've got to run but i'll writ more later about the homes, what i saw around there, the crazy temple i went to today, and my sight seeing to come! i love u all and miss u so much!
bye bye for now

hey hey!

2008-07-09T20:14:00.001-07:00

Hey all! so this is actually me, katie saying hi to everyone back home! tuan was nice enough to lend me his blog for a bit- what a giving soul he has. in fact, if tuan hadn't been so willing to share his stories and so much of his trip with me, it would have made the Lords job a lot harder in getting me where he wants me; so if you are reading this tuan thank you from the bottom of my heart- i don't know how i could have done any of this with out you.

anyway, so about India...well honestly i can't believe we made it! I can't believe it has been a week and 1/2! it really is a whole new world. there are so many new thing to see and smell and hear and taste. its all so fascinating and i'm still trying to take it all in. I'm not even sure where to start.
lets start with the Mother house- o man its so beautiful. when we first went one of the sisters pointed us up Mother Teresa 's old room. it was as setup behind the screen, as if she was just going to walk right in and sit down at her desk. then we down and looked at the beautiful display they have set up with bulletin boards and articles from Mother. they even have her old sari, hand patched and everything. On our first day of volunteering, before we had breakfast we got to have mass with the sisters; hearing them sing is one of the most beautiful sounds i've ever heard. The whole place is filled with God's presence of peace.

the 1st day of volunteering at Prem Dan was very eye opening but a little rough because i wasn't really told what to do, you just kind of jump in. The second day was fabulous though! Prem Dan is a home for ( at least o the women's side) mostly mentally ill women. The majority of them where fairly old and some of them needed a lot of assistance physically. the morning shift is between 8ish and 12ish. once we get there the laundry is done first, then beds are made, we help to feed them, there a short brake for us, and then we spend alot of time just sitting with the women. Most of them don't know english at all, but that really doesn't matter once you get the hang of it. it dose make me want to learn Bengali though! How beautiful these shundaries (beautiful elder women) are! I had never seen such pure smiles. One of the very old women almost broke my heart. She was one from the handful who had to be spoon feed and in order to get her to bed after lunch, you had to drag the chair she was in into the next room. But more then that was how much she loved holding your wrist. she couldn't really speak very well-even to the sisters, and her eyes often wondered, but the minute you would go to leave or start pulling your had from where she left in on her knee or from her own hand, she would reach from it. what a simple, simple request, just to not be left sitting alone.

So now i am done volunteering for a while. the three of us Alicia, Brendan, and I meet up with Meghan, Jamie and Fr.Puthumai and took a 12 hr train ride north on the 10th (Thursday night for us; there is a 11.5 hr difference btw). we are leaving this Sunday night. thats bitter sweet for me because Raiganj is so beautiful, it is so nice seeing Meghan and Jamie, the people are way less used to tourist so they stare more but they hardly try to cheat u out of you money, and Fr.P totally is taking such good care of us. On the other hand, my heart longs to return to the Mother house and the people. and the hustle and bustle and pollution and creeper stares that is kolkata has an excitement, a romanticism to it. it is a fun place once you get you foot in the door. you see new thing every day that you would never see in Washington. then again i could say the same thing for Raiganj! here is a brief list of some things i have done while up here:
-explored an Mosque built in 1364
-fallen in love with, many young singing Indian boys!
-saw a live gazel tied up in a small market ( i frekn lov those!)
-had an Indian beer
-been on tv (or at least jamie was, i'm not really sure how many of us made it on)
-thrown up for the first time in like 3 yrs
-signed my autograph for, shook hands with and dances around wiht several enthusiastic villagers
-ect!

any way, i lov you and miss you all and will write more soon! ur all in my prayers!
i lov u and God bless!

-Katie

The mission trip continues forever - LAST BLOG ENTRY

2007-08-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a long while since my last blog entry. A lot has happened since. My last week was one of the most challengeing week for me. It started with getting sick in Darjeeling with stomach problems, vomitting, and diaheria. Then when I returned back to Kolkata I caught pink eye. I got medicated for it, with eye drops, ontiment, and antibiodics. I thought that was the last that could of possibly gone bad for me but there was still more instored.... I'll mention it later.
Well, my last week was full of emotions. It was so surreal for me that I was returning back to the states. The States seemed like such a far away place, not only in physical distance but the reality of the States seemed so unbelievable. Everything that I've became so accustomed to in Kolkata was the exact opposite from what the state offered. From how spacious the streets are in thstates to the cleaninest. Looking around Kolkata I couldn't believe we even shared the same world. It seemed as if I was in two different worlds and that I was living two different lives. I felt that while I was in India, I've never lived in the States before... that the states was only something of my imagination and now that I'm home I can't believe there's such a place like Kolkata, India that exists. It's hard for me to grasp and realize it all because how fortunate we are in the States.

Well, I put in full days of work during my last week. From working in the morning with the children in the orphanage and teaching in the schools, to holding music class and teaching the new guitar player who's taking over for me, the songs for Mother Teresa's 10 year memorial, and than I in the afternoon I finished up the wall paintings. All was finished! I couldn't believe everything was coming to an end. On friday (the day before my last day), I was able to visit Shishu Bhavan. A site that only female can volunteer at. Sara started the Nirmala school with 3 others when she was in Kolkata 2 years back, and I asked permission to visit her school and one of her students, Isha. I was granted the privillege to do so and when I visited I was able to sit in the class room and I also had the opportunity to talk to Isha. It was amazing. She was so happy to see me, someone she didn't even know, but she still was so excited. I gave her a present from sara; a journal, crayons, and ring pops! She absolutely adored it and was very proud of her gifts she recieved. When I had to leave Isha was all but willingly to allow so. "No go." She said everytime I told her I need to go. "No go!" It was so adorable, as she held my arm and persisted that I stayed with her, someone I've met only 20 minutes ago. I headed over to daya Dan and continued teaching at the school for my last friday class! It was sad but I knew that the children were going to continue strong with many teachers that will do a better job at teaching than I do. During that same day (friday), The roof top of Daya Dan caught on fire! A stove was running on a hot day underneathe a dry roof... so the combination of heat underneathe and the heat from the sun above caught the roof on fire along with many clothes haning on the roof top. It was pretty dramatic and we had to close off all electricity and hose down the whole roof. It was brought under control but got us all in a scare. Sometime, that afternoon I also got a haircut on the side of the street inbetween sudder and new market. The guy who cut my hair did it all with sisscors and a switch blade... it was pretty impressive.
My last day, fell on the same day as Mother Teresa's birthday. It was so beautiful! I went to morning mass and had my rosary blessed by Mother Teresa at her Tomb. After mass because of the festival and display that was set up in the volunteer's room due to Mother's birthday all the volunteers headed over to Shishu bhavan for breakfast. I was held back at Mother House because Sr. Melrose had asked me to do her a favor before I leave on my last day. While all the volunteers were at Shishu Bhavan, all the MC sisters and Sister Nirmala gathered around Mother teresa's tomb and sang her happy birthday. Luckily, I was able to witness such a beauitful sight on my last day... a gift I believe Mother gave me on her birthday. I also recieved a blessing from Sr. Nirmala and the sacrament of reconcilation by a priest from france before my flight that evening. Well, by the time I got out of Mother House and to Shishu Bahavan for breakfast, they have already finish breakfast and singing goodbye to all the last day volunteers (all the last day volunteers besides me). As sad as that was... I was alright with it. It was God's way to tell me I was doing the service for him and not for praise. That my time spent here was for the children, for the poor and through them for the Christ and not for myself. Once again, the trip was challenging me to incress in my humility.

On my way to Daya dan I stopped by a local market and bought some balloons for the children during my last day. I spent my last morning at Daya Dan practicing guitar with Sr. Johana Fa, Mongol, Megha, and the new guitar player to prepare for mass. Around 9 the childrened and sisters gathered on the second floor and we celebrated mass. My last mass at Daya Dan, and I was able to play guitar for them and share all the joys of seeing my beloved children. After mass I went upstairs and we had a party! I brought out the balloons and gave them to the children and sr Christalata gave out candy! The children were so beautifully dressed for Mother Teresa's birthday, it was so amazing to see them all but it also made me sad thinking it was my last day. The children gathered and sang happy birthday to Mother Teresa than we all hung out all morning and just had fun!

I went downstairs to see all the was going on and when I got downstair Sr. Johana Fa and the boys had bought me a cake and was waiting for me. They gathered around and say to me, "we thank you, uncle.. we love you, uncle... we'll miss you, uncle.... and come back, uncle" It was so beautiful that it almost made me cry! I couldn't bare the thought of leaving them all! I was so sad but I quickly filled my mind with happy thoughts as I cut the cake and gave it to the children and passed out candy!They immediately cheered me up as they fought in line to get candy and cake. It was so wonderful to see them all so happy. I thanked Sr. Johana Fa for all Daya Dan has given me and she did the same. Reminding me the children will always remember me from the painting I left on the walls for them. She gave me the address to Daya Dan so I can write and I spent my last few moments among the children.

Later the evening I was able to return to Mother's Tomb one last time, and than head over to St. Mary's for a special mass dedicated to Mother Teresa's 97th Birthday. Many of the MC sisters were at St. Mary, that it filled more than half the church with MC sisters! It was beautiful. The Bishop was there and gave the homily on Mother's service to the poor. I couldn't have ended my time in Kolkata any better. After celebrating my last mass in Kolkata, I had a few hours before I headed out for the airport. Packing was rushed and I had a lot things to donate, and also a lot to bring home. I took a shower and put on newly bought clean clthoes and headed off into the taxi for the airport. When I arrived it was still 10pm or so, my ticket told me I wasn't going to leave till about 1am and I still haven't had dinner yet so I went up into a resturant and grabbed some Chicken Haka Noddles for dinner. I decided I should check in early just in case... and when I got to my checkin for my luguage... I found out my plane was leaving in 10 minutes or so and I haven't scanned my bags, and checked in my lugguage. At that time they already shut down the xray scan for my baggage and had to reopen it for me. They told me the flight was full, but luckily I already had a seat. Through all the frustration... I made it to my plane with seconds to spare.
When the rush of insanity had stopped, my luggage was checked, my carry-ons were stored away, and I was seated in the airplane, I looked up to realize... this is really happening- I'm headed back to the States. I couldn't believe my eyes. Everything inside the plane to me seemed so luxurious, nice and clean. It was air conditioned, equipped with TV monitors, headphones plugins at every seat, music radio, tv, movies, food service... I was in awe. When we were in air I kept thinking back of Daya Dan. All I can remember thinking was that I wish I could trade my plane ticket so Mongol or Megha can expereince flying an airplane once in their life. Not nessesarily even going to the US but just expereincing being in a airplane. As I sat there and thought about my kids at Daya Dan I could hear Megha's voice in my head... picturing her here with me on the plane, and her telling me "Oh, So nice uncle. So nice!" As she looks around with her beautiful brown eyes and pearly white teeth held with a smile. I imagined Mongol sitting by me, looking out the window as we soared above the clouds. Mongol loves learning about the world, continents, and astronomy... I only then could imagine the smile on his face as he points out the window with wide opened eyes in disbelief, flying above the world. These thoughts flooded my mind and remained with me for the duration of my flight and filled my eyes with tears. I tried to fight them back but I was so sad to leave all the children I grew so fond of. I could only imagine how excited they would be to see all the TVs in the plane, all the meals, snacks, and drinks I recieved on the plane; if only I could share it with the children at Daya Dan. I often mention about Mongol, Megha, Piya, and Bashker but honestly... I've grown close to many of the children at Daya Dan. Those that struggle with speech, with mobility, and with the children that suffer with deformity. I love them all so dearly. It really sadden my heart to think (and also know because Sister told me) that many of the children at Daya Dan don't get adopted. All I can think is WHY NOT?! I love them so much and want them to enjoy the same luxury I freely enjoy each day in the States. I have more than enough. I just wished I was able to bring home one child (if not all) and show the child love of a family and take the child to the park weekly. Have the child go to FREE public school, take them to the movies, the ocean & mountains, ... there's so much the world has to offer. But so few are the numbers of those generous people who want to share their luxury with others.
Believe it or not, the bathroom on the plane was the nicest bathroom I've used in months! Sadily it was the cleaniest also. It was the first time I was able to sit on the toliet seat... and also the first time in a LONG time since I've used toliet paper... haha. Oh, all the things we take for granted and the things we can actually live without. Although my pink eye and tomach problem came more under control, I developed this weird skin irritation. I began to notice it when I was on my first flight back and it's progressed from each flight connection. It's all up my arm, and has spread to my other arm and down my back. I got back in states and the day after I came home I went to the doctor to get checked up and get my blood test. The doctor told me it looks like Lyme skin disease, so I'm hooked up on Antibiodics for another 15 days and I've lost 15 lbs since I left .
God truly is allowing me to share in suffering and I truly felt as if God had given me the perfect traveling experience along with so many graces during my journey. The last week in India he hasked of me to share in suffering with all those that I served; those that are weak and skinny without food, with the paitents that were sick and needed care, with the yearning thirst for love and home that many people live without. This last week God has asked me to lift up a part of my burden with the burdens of my suffering fellowmen, throughout th various homes and sites and with those that go without food, clothes, or shelter on the streets of Kolkata.
I'm back in the states now... sitting at home with SOOO much space! Given my house at home I've always complained about being so small. A one story 4 room house with 8 people under the roof was everything but living large but coming back from Kolkata... I now realized how blessed I am. I can open up a frig and find food while those that live on the streets in India work each day in hopes that they'll have something to provide for their family that evening. I can come home bathe and feel clean... open up my closet to a closet full of clothes and pick out what i'm going to wear for the day, while many of those in India where the same outfit for the year... if not longer. It's been so weird being back in states. I honestly can't believe how much space we have here, how much food we have and waste, how clean it is, and how big everything is... the house, the yard, the roads, cars, meals, ... EVERTYHING!

Through all the joy, saddness, hardship, frustration, sickness, and love I expereinced while I was in Kolkata, God was there beside me. I placed all my trust in Him at the beginning of my trip that he would provide the means for me to serve Him in Kolkata India and He did just so, and I trusted that God would take care of me while I was there and he hasn't abondoned me yet. He is my true love and my life's journey that I've traveled the world to find. This summer is a summer I will never forget. Already I've begin to see the impact it has made in me. Life's too short, live it and live it with great love. For it we do not work for peace in our jobs, our families, friends, among nations and religion, then our lives will be empty of love. For where there's peace there is love, and where there's love we shall find God. For God is love, so let us set our lives in service of love. So we can become a prophet of Love; a prophet of God.

Blessed Mother Teresa of Kolkata, you've set the path before us all to show us how to live selflessly and with great love. Continue to guide us for you've gone before us and now dwell in the Kingdom of your true love, Our Lord. Teach us how to serve, to be humble, to give, and to love to those around us, especially to find Jesus in Disguise. May we strive to make our life mission a mission of love to all we come in contact with.

Happy 10 year memorial Mother Teresa.

conversing with Sr Melrose

2007-08-23T08:05:00.001-07:00

This morning when I woke up my eyes were sealed close. I couldn't get them open! I don't know if you read my blog yesterday but, I have pink eye. Well, because of all the yuck in my eyes as I slept it built it up and sealed it closed. With as much force as my eyebrows had, I lifted up my eyelids just enough to peak through a small opening in my right eye to see and to stumble towards the bathroom to see how by my eyes actually were. I ended up prying them open with my fingers and it wasn't as painful as I thought it'd be.... I thought my eyes were sealed along with my eyelids, haha. Anyways, my eyes didn't get any clearer... actually it got more red. After calling home and to sara this morning I went straight to the doctors. They prescribed me some antibiotics, eye drops, ontiment, and some other pills. And that's what I was looking for because I knew I could of just asked for them over the counter at the pharmacy here, but I didn't know what I was asking for. I picked up my meds and some lunch, and headed back to the hotel. Today was Sr. Melrose's Feast day. When you become consecrated into the religious life, your birthday becomes the feast day of the patron saint you choose and today was Sr. Melrose's feast day. Sr Melrose was a sister I met earlier when I was by myself here in India and we met at Mother's tomb. We ended up talking about vocation and my relationship... she's been keeping Sara and I in her prayers and I've been keeping hers in mine. She's become a pretty good friend and so I made here a card today for her feast day, I spent some time to make it look a little nice but more importantly thanking her for choosing her vocation and for being such a blessing to the world.
I walked over to Mother house with Corina around 2:40 or so and went into Mother's Tomb... and once again, there she was. I gave her the card and I knelt down at Mother's tomb to pray, for a while. I got up to leave and she called me over. She thanked me for the card and didn't believe how the true or applicable the words of kindness was to her but I assured her it was her humility that was playing a part because she truly is an example of God's love to the world. She gave me a rosary that her superior gave her and told me she was planning on giving it to the first person that approaches her, and I was the first. She sat me down and asked me... How's Sara?!? hahaha! We haven't talked about my relationship since the first time we talked and I was suprised she remembered, but it was very comforting to know how much she cared. Than we talked about vocations; marriage, religious, and holy order. She told me all about how she felt in her vocation, the graces she receives and the blessing she can give and have. Than she told me how many are called towards marriage and need to live out the vocation... how much harder it may be, especially in this world now and days. She advised me on how to maintain a healthy marriage and it was the same way to to keep a healthy relationship in holy order, relgious life, and a dating relationship. It's total selflessness. She said the only way she can keep a healthy relationship with her married spouse, Christ. Is to be all for Christ and selflessly and not argue with him when he asks. She told me if I'm called to be married I must be selfless in my relationship with my significant other otherwise once a relationship turns into a self-seeking one, it begins to crumble. It takes two selfless givers to create an enduring love. All who are called towards Religious life and Holy order must die to themselves to live for Christ. But for those called towards Marriage life or simply in a dating relationship right now, it must take more than two to love, but rather three. The two + God, only through the union of all three will we be fully one. Sr. Melrose told me God's already answered one call for me from the day I was created, he's given me the path to my vocation and that path is to faithfulness. We're called to be faithful! In whatever vocation we're called to be... he doesn't want to make me Pope or bishop but rather to be Tuan but faithful and that will lead me to where I need to be and that will lead me to my vocation. Holiness and faithfulness is what we all must life and that is our vocation. Once we figure that out, we must strive to find out in which way did God best create us to be faithful and holy to all those he bless us with.
I absolutely love talking to Sr. Melrose and was sad that i had to leave because I could of sat all day and hung out with her but I needed to get to Daya Dan although it was a thursday. I needed to paint!

At Daya Dan painting went extremely well! We're finished completely with the ship scene and today I finished painting the tiger which I was extremely happy with the result. I think we'll be finished by Saturday. Anyways I forgot to mention yesterday night I went to the Forum Mall and bought some DVDs for the children (for a party for the kids on my last day here in India), I also caught a Bollywood film called Marigold. But today Mongol asked about me bringing a movie and I told him I bought one yesterday, than I asked sister Johana Fa if we can get a DVD player on Sunday my last day here in India and she told me... can I bring the movie tomorrow because they'll be able to get a DVD player tomorrow, when I told her yes and the movies I got her face brighten up and so did Mongol. He started smacking Sr. Johana Fa's leg out of excitment and laughing and smiling. I bought from Music world The Emperors New Groove and Mulan... IN HINDI! So all the children, MC sisters and Masis can watch and understand! They're all pretty excited and so am I! So tomorrow it's a movie day! We have the DVD player till11am or so... and so that means it'll be during class time but I made Mongol promise me that we can still do class time afterwards and that I'll work him harder than before. We already missed class on Wednesday because of society feast day and if we miss another day... that would of been only 2 hours of classroom this week! Things are getting pretty crazy here but I'm loving every moment of it! I'll be headed home in 3-4 days, AHHHHH!! I'm not sure if I'm sad or happy. Well keep us in your prayers still! Thank you, thank you.

Fighting hard for my last week

2007-08-22T05:19:00.000-07:00

As many you can tell, I haven't been blogging in a couple of days. Over the weekend I did go up to Darjeeling with Corina. I don't think I have enough time to blog about that... although I'll mention some things. We planned our whole trip around trying to make it to mass, and the last time I was up in Darjeeling I missed mass by a couple of hours... this time I knew my train would be there in time for me to make it to St. Andrew's at 9. I really wanted to go to Sikim but was afraid I wouldn't be able to find a church on sunday, so Corina and I played it safe... sadly to say, I've missed a couple sunday mass since I've been here in India. But this story is by far the memorable since I planned my whole weekend vacation around it. When we got to St. Andrews, it was absolutely beautiful; stained glass icons of the crucifix, ascension, St. Andrew, and the nativity scene. There was a beautiful marble altar up front and the architechture was very detailed and breath taking. I introduced myself to father and later when mass started ... minutes into mass I realized I wasn't at a catholic mass. I noticed something different as soon as the preist entered in from the front, and then when he started in prayer, we didn't start with the sign of the cross. But as soon as he invited someone from the pew to come up and lead us in a morning reflectional prayer... it was a dead give away. I was fairly disapointed because once again... I missed mass for some random reason, I tried... but no cigar. Corina and I got a laugh out of ourself for trying so hard but in the end ... yeah......well. Anyways, Darjeeling was beautiful like always. Very relaxing and breath-taking. We ended up taking the Toy train up to Darjeeling an 8 hour trainride after our 10 hr train ride from kolkata. The toy train up to Darjeeling is the most well known train ride in the world, known for the scenic view, and it surely was spectacular. We went to the zoo (world's highest altitude zoo), saw the sunrise at Tiger hill, visited the Buddhist monastery, and saw a couple other historical sites.... oh yeah and of course we bought some Darjeeling tea (the best).
While I was there (my very first meal sunday morning) I had a cheese Paratha. Sadly to say, it was my last meal for several days. I got sick in Darjeeling. I don't know what I was thinking, I never bought anything with real dairy in it in Kolkata... but my mind was elsewhere when I ordered it in Darjeeling. I was out for a couple day and fought to make it to see all the historical sites without vomitting. The jeep ride back was hell on earth.

Well, I made it back to Kolkata yesterday morning or something like so. After checking into a hotel I pushed myself to go to Daya to work. I only have a couple days left here... I wasn't going to lay around sick on my ass. So, I got to Daya Dan and my stomach was killing. I wasn't able to paint but I was able to entertain the kids a bit. Also the Sister that was in charge previously for 9 years at Daya Dan came back to visit, so it was very nice to meet her. She's now at Prem Dan.
After getting back from Daya Dan yesterday... I went straight to bed, and laid there till dinner. I was sick of being sick... I swear I'm sick every 3 weeks! So I forced myself to eat last night, since my stomach was feeling a little bit better. So of course what else would I have ordered? Prawn veggie sizzler with rice for 2 dollars from Jojo's across the street! Surprisingly my stomach held it in. I came back to my room, brushed up, and then rolled into bed. Minutes later, someone was knocking at our hotel room's door. The gatekeeper was at the door and told me I had a phone call! I answered down at the hotel counter and it was SARA calling from Vancouver! It was such a beautiful surprise; calling, checking up on me to see how I was feeling! I'm honestly so blessed! (Yuca, sarabear). Well, after the call I was stopped by some friends that were staying in the dormitory rooms and told me they had some pineapple beef jerky I must try... I told them I had some "jamacian me crazy" beef jerky from the states... so I went and grabbed my pack and we had a beef jerky party! Us crazy volunteers... deprived of red meat, we're pretty sad and pathetic. Well... that was yesterday.

TODAY...
Before vatican 2, August 22nd was the feast day of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. The Missionaries of Charity dedicate their order to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, so today is also the society's feast day.
I arrived at Mother house at 6 for mass and got to see all the novists sing to the sisters afterwards. I ended up chatting with sister Collette for a while and when I got downstairs for breakfast we had a special breakfast also! Bananan, bread with JAM, and some COFFEE! When I arrived at Daya Dan all the children were so beauitfully dressed up. In the prettiest dresses and studliest outfits. The girls had on makeup and the guys had their hair gel. All morning there was dancing and singing for the sisters. It was tons of fun and than the volunteers went downstairs for tea time and they also had boiled eggs, bananan, and sweet bread for us. After tea time I started painting... but half an hour into painting I was asked to go upstairs. The sisters had made a special lunch for the volunteers! They made us fried rice, chicken, papad, curry, and cheese (which I did not take). The meal was delicious and it was very generous of the sisters and masis to do so.
I continued at Daya Dan till 5 this afternoon and painted. Corina finish painting the ocean on the ship scene and I finished painting the seal, rhino, and crocodile today. We also had a local that has helped paint Daya dan in the past come help us paint and it finished painting the giraffe today. Overall it was a very sucessfull paint day but sadly for me, something had to happen... just as I was getting over my stomach problem my eye began to be irritated. I went to go washed it out a couple times ... every 10 minutes or so but it kept developing this clearish layer, that progressed into a thicker yellowish eye snot. By the time I finished painting at 5 my eye was well pinked and every time I blink I felt as if I had a pebble stuck in between my eyelid and it was scratching off my eye. I need to go get it check tomorrow... which I'm not sure what I'm going to do since it's a thursday (volunteers Day off) but I think I'll go paint at Daya Dan so I'll just ask Sr. Christalata or Sr. Johana Fa about my eye and see what they can do. But right now... it's pretty red. I'm sure I got pink eye and need some antibiotics for it. Which will suck if I come back and have red eyes for all my sisters wedding pictures along with loosing so much weight from being sick and looking like a Kalighat patient. But... hey, it's india. It's the price you got to pay for have the best time of your life! I honestly think the have all the odds working against right now during my last week here! From last Sunday in Darjeeling was my one week mark till I'm home and since then... everything has been working against me. Satan is truly trying to slow down my work and I know that there's so much to be done before I leave and so much I want to do!! I don't want anything to ruin my time here or my experience... and so all I got to say is "BRING IT!" I don't know if I'll blog again before I leave. My days are pretty packed and there's much that I need to and want to do and so maybe I'll blog about it when I get back to the states otherwise..... just ask me! Thanks you and I love you all!

PS... please continue your prayers! I need them.

singing with MC sisters

2007-08-17T04:05:00.000-07:00

This morning it was pouring rain outside. I hit my snoozed button and some how it never came back on so by the time I checked it was 5:50am... and I was going to be late to mass. So i took my time this morning and made my way out towards mother house around 6:40. Corina still wasn't feeling up to par so she took another day off. She's looking a lot better and is able to get up and walk around more, from what I see.
I had a guitar bag that was full of medicine, hygene/grooming products, some clothes and sheets. The bag was packed full and barely zipped shut. This bag was things I've accumulated for donation, from friends, myself, and buying stuff on the streets that I thought some of the sites may need. I stepped outside into the rain and to my suprised it was ankle high water in some parts of the streets but I began to trud through.
I got to Mother house and told Sr. Karina I had some donation, she was excited to see the bag so packed but even more so, she was excited when I told her I'm donating the guitar bag also. There's numberous guitars all over the sites; at Mother house, 2 or 3 at Daya Dan, some at Kalighat, etc. What they really need is maintence things for the guitar, like new strings, picks, new bags. And so Sr. Karina was excited when I gave her a sturdy Yamaha bag that I bought in the states. Afterwards I had breakfast and headed to Daya dan.
At daya dan I arrived early and started making Mongol's lesson plan. I picked out a few words he learned when I worked with him last tuesday. It's so hard to give the children a good education, when all i get with them is an hour a day, monday through friday except for thursday because it's volunteer's day off! Saturday is art class. So in reality it's only 4 hours a week that the children are actually in class! I wish I can have more timie with them ... like 4 horus a day minimum. Well this wednesdsay we didn't have class because of independence day so I had to remember back to tuesday... and I started a new book with mongol. I choose out some words that we read on tuesday and made them into sentences with fill in the blanks. I also used those words and had him draw a line to word that was most similar in meaning to it. After that lesson we continued reading a few more pages, and than I read to him. By the time we finished an hour had already pass and Sr. Johana Fa wanted the children downstairs to have choir practice for Mother Teresa's Memorial mass in September. I joined Sister because there was no guitar player. Sister wanted me to help figure out some of the guitar chords for the music. We sang and I fumbled through chords trying to figure out the matching chords for the vocals, surpisingly I did fairly well and figured out all the songs that we sang today on the guitar and wrote them down for the guitarist in September... which as of now, we're still looking for one. After an hour of choir practice all the sisters, masis, and children left and one MC sister stayed back with me and helped me figure out the other songs. She had SUCH and amazing voice! It was so beautiful and pure! I loved hearing her sing in bangali and really wish I knew bangali to sing along. The songs were so beautiful and I was so excited that I was able to figure out the chords to the songs and ontop of that... it was just an BEAUTIFUL SONG!

When I finally finished figuring out as much as I could,in the amount of time Sister was able to be there and help me out befor her afternoon prayer/lunch/nap time, I went down to the first floor and continued painting what was left. It seems to me as if there's not much progress. I was hoping that I'd finish one of it by today but with corina sick yesterday and today it was a set back. Along with not having blue paint for the water and sky... it was a major problem. So until I find a store to go pick up some blue paint, I can't do much more with my ship scene. I finished painting everything that I could on my ship scene today... the people were all finished, the boats, and sails... I'm just waiting on the ocean water. So Today I started the other painting, the ones with animals playing in the water. I was tired and it was getting later in the day, the kids were waking up and the second shift of volunteers were coming in, so I painted as much as I could which meant I only finished painting two monkeys. The children and Masis stood staring, they really liked it.

Well in a couple of hours I'm headed up north to Darjeeling with Corina for the weekend. So I may not blog for a while but pray for our safe journey. PS... we're going to take the toy train up to Darjeeling, where Mother Teresa had her "Call within a call" and go to the Catholic church in darjeeling at 9am on Sunday! I'm excited! Plus, Darjeeling is just so beautiful anyways! It's amazing. Pray for our safe journey.

painting day

2007-08-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up and grabbed breakfast at Tirupati. A bananan pancake of course. Corina wasn't feeling all too well this morning and although today was a thursday, a day off for volunteers, we were planning on going to Daya Dan to continue painting. Corina didn't look too well so I told her to stay back and get some rest, while I went to paint today.

I arrived at Daya Dan and it was interesting coming there on a thursday, only the masis were with the kids and although when I arrived all the sisters were together hanging out with the children, the majority of their day they spent in prayers. I actually only saw them for about 30 minutes out of the day today and the rest of the day they were praying or doing something else on the second floor. Which is pretty intense if you think about. I started to sketch out a boy sitting on the moon and fishing, than began painting. Mongol stayed with me for awhile while I was painting and kept me company. I finished painting the moon, the boy that was fishing and a fish he caught, and the sail of my other ship and the faces on the two people on that ship. I took a break sometime in between and had lunch made by the masis, then continue on painting. Later in the afternoon Megha came downstair and kept me company. I gave her a bottle of aroma therapy lotion that was citrus scented and she absolutely loved it. "oOOI, Very nice. I like, this is very nice uncle. You're a very nice uncle. " hahaha. She's so funny I love that gal. She loves a lot of girly things so it's easy to get her gifts that she'll love. Actually all the kids love things that smell good. Mongol loves Johnson Oil and I got him some, I've been meaning to give it to him but keep on forgetting to give it. His face lights up everytime I mention it or when he ask about it.
Well the MC sisters were extremely nice and courteous to me today, like always, but they kept making sure I had everything I needed. And gave me the greatest compliments on the paintings. When I was finished with painting they made me a cup of chai... chai is where it's at. I seriously am going to bring back Tea Time when I get back into the states. We're totally missing out.

Well, I got back on sudder and Corina was still in bed. So I encouraged her to get something to eat since she haven't had anything since breakfast. So we went out... I had my dinner and she had her lunch/dinner, which was only a slice of toast and 7up. I'm going to cut this blog short because I need to run back and check up on her and also since I was working all day today at Daya Dan I haven't had the chance to do laundry and I need it done before I leave this weekend to Darjeeling for 3 days. I don't know if anyone is still reading these blogs but continue keep us in your prayers and pray for Corina's wellbeing if you have the time today. Thank you and God bless.

Happy independence day INDIA

2007-08-15T04:49:00.000-07:00

Today was an amazing day because not only was it Independence day for India for their 60th year since partition but it's also the feast of the Assumption of our Blessed Virgin Mother! Of course it was going to be a good day... how can it go wrong.
Mass was great like always and at breakfast it was pretty jammed packed of volunteers many of which i don't recognize anymore. When I arrived at Daya Dan all the kids were dressed in matching clothes! It was adorable, the girls had on their matching red dresses and the guys in their blue shorts and white shirts. Everyone was so happy and cheerful and Daya Dan was decorated with India's flag and colors.
In the classroom, the other teachers and I, helped prepare the class to make India's flag by tracing out the flag and having the students color in the flag and matching the colors to the specific spots. It was a great activity for many of the students, Mongol and megha who were able to draw it themselves without a pre traced drawing also were able to enjoy the flag making activity. We decorated our classroom with all the flags the students made after they were finish. We had a volunteer that is from Kolkata come talk to the students about Independence day and about freedom fighters of India. I've been telling the students that I'll bring in a movie as soon as I can find a lap top and today was Blanca's last day, she's been here since September 2006 and she brought in a friend's laptop so our class can watch a movie. Briana brought for me my external hardrive when she came and on my external harddrive there were some movies saved on. I plugged in the adapter and than plugged it into the electric input. It turned on for a second and then thge lights shut off. It blew a fuse! Or at least I hope that was the only problem, but it wasn't working. The same thing must had happened to my rechargable batteries that was also sent over. It would recharge here. The waltage here in India delivers much more than what is usually used for the eletronics in States. Frantically, I searched the room if there was any way I can play a movie for the children. At this time the children were still working on their flags. I figured the USB/external hard drive is finish and out of the question... i must find a dvd. So I left the students with the rest of the other teachers and went out to search the streets. It was nearly impossible to find a store that sold DVDs, VCDs, VHS or any type of movie format. Luckily the last sense of hope, I stumbled across a small stand that sold vcds! I bought a burnt copy of Harry potter and Pirates of the Caribiean. It was the only movies remotely close to children movies, all the other movies that was sold was some type of romatic drama.
I rushed back and by the time I got back the students were finished and were headed out of the classroom for a party! All the children came upstairs and we celebrated independence day with all the MC sisters at Daya Dan and masis! It was so much fun! We raised the flag, and Sr. Joy (the newest arrived Sister) gave a speach, we did a march around Daya Dan and than we party and DANCED! It was great! I pumped up some music on the speakers at Daya dan in Bangali and everyone was dancing! There was some indian's sweets that went around and everyone was just having a great time.
After the our party, one of the masis brought out a TV with a DVD player, they played a movie in Bangali. I thought to myself.... all the work, and they were going to play a movie all along.
At this time, it was late in the day morning shift was finished and the volunteers have left. The Masis made us lunch and it was sooo delcious! It's only of my favorite Indian meals... i love it all but this dish is pretty high up there with the egg masala dish. The Masis made us Chicken Braiyani. It's so good with some potatoes! ummmm! Well, anyways I went downstairs and began to paint what I sketched out yesterday. My goal was to finish painting both by today. One corner was of boats and the ocean while the other corner was of animals in the pooling. Corina and I started on the boats. There's only 4 boats drawn on the wall in that corner. I drew two and she drew two... It was a long process painting and after hours, I only finished painting one complete boat with a boy in it and the sail and boat of my second ship. Cornia finished painting her two boats but we haven't even begun painting the ocean or the sky, the moon, the stars... there's still much work to be done! We had couldn't do much more today because around 3:30 the children were getting up and they started coming over and touching the paint. It was such a hassel to try to keep them away from the paint..... and from LICKING it!
Well, that's the gist of my day today, tomorrow .... i'll probably be painting all day. It's voluteer's day off tomorrow because it's a thursday and it's the MC sisters day of prayers and day off. But I got permission from Sr. Johana Fa to come to Daya Dan and continue painting. I may go traveling with Corina for 2-3 days this weekend, otherwise Corina won't have a traveling partner or she won't be able to see any other part of india while she's here. So we're going up towards Darjeeling since the last time I went, I only spent a day there and it was by far the most spectacular, refreshing and peaceful town I've seen. So we're going to do fully days tomorrow and friday and leave for the weekend. Which is perfect with my teaching schedule because saturday is art class and sunday there's no class. Anyways, I'm not sure what I have planned for tonight. It's Independence day here... I think Corina and I may just go see what's happening on the streets tonight, maybe go out to the bars, and find a nice place for dinner since today we worked from 8 this morning and now just got back to sudder and it's 5:15pm. So, we're GOING OUT tonight! There's a lot of platforms set up , PA systems on the street and all sorts of fun all over Kolkata. Their be dancing on the streets tonight so ... it'll be exciting.
Well I'm getting excited to come home and miss everyone tremendously! I hope all's going well in States! God bless you now and forever!

A home in Vietnam

2007-08-14T04:33:00.000-07:00

this morning was so freak'n awesome! first off I was able to wake up... which is always a good thing because usually i feel as if I'm walking around asleep all day. But after mass I got to witness 5 child get adopted! It was so beautiful, I couldn't stop smiling! AHHH! These five child were being adopted to italian families and it brought much hope to me, for all the other children.
I grabbed breakfast and headed went upstairs and asked for sr. Collette. She came out with a greatest smile and we sat and talked for over an hour. Sr. Collette made her final vow in 1958 along with Sr. Nirmala. Sr. collette told me many things about the order and how the struggle for religion was in india and all the other part of the world where Catholism isn't looked highly upon. Sr. Collette told me about the persecution that was going on in Vietnam. She was over in North vietnam for 2 years with Mother Teresa and 3 other sisters. Sr. Nirmala was also with her. She has orders from Mother Teresa to start an MC house with these 3 other sisters in Vietnam. Catholism isn't really looked highly upon in northern vietnam because they're afraid that the christians will take over. Everything is looked over by the government. Even the ordination of the priest must be excepted and approved by the government otherwise the priest would be imprisioned. Sr. Nirmala told me about three types of catholics in Vietnam... one that follows the vatican and also askes permission by the government to do certain things that may not be excepted by the communist government, which was what the MC sisters were working with while they were in vietnam, another group that calls themselves catholics but aren't following the vatican and only ask permission from government in fear of persecution, and than there's the underground catholic group that follows the vatican and speaks out against the government, many of which are martyrs or imprissioned when caught. Sr. Collette told me how the government wouldn't let them have mass service whenever they wanted only after 11:30. The MC sisters weren't able to have daily mass and so every sunday when they recieved communion they carried with them in the tabernacle locket (I don't know what it's really called) but they would keep enough for them to recieve every day for the week and than come back every sunday. They were placed by the government apart from all that they wanted to be by and was given strict orders. The MC sisters weren't allowed to care for the orphanges as they do here in Kolkata and as they wished. The children that were mentally challenged or suffered from retardation was looked down upon and was casted as less than human. This was the orphange the sisters worked at and even then they weren't allowed to give these children mattress.. they slept on beds made of wood and when the sisters bought them mattress the government took them away. The children when the Sisters first came where terrified of the sisters and wasn't use to someone caring for them the way the sisters did. Sister told me they use to just throw cold water on the children for their baths and so when the MC sister bathed them with warm water and cared for them loving it took them a while to get use to but within a month or so they became more comfortable with the sisters. The sights and area the MC sisters worked at they weren't allowed to take pictures but one of the locals took pictures for Sr. Collette and she was able to get some pictures of the sights, community, and families. She sat and told me stories about all the pictures. How in this one catholic church a girl wanted to join the Missionaries of Charity order and it was not permitted so by the government , so Sr. Collette advise her to move to America than from there join the order. It really suprised me how much of a struggle it was for the sisters in Vietnam. They only had one translator that barely spoke english but helped them throughout. I saw many pictures with Sr. Collette, Mother Teresa, and Sr. Nirmala with the orphans, local parish, and local bishops (that weren't allowed the title of bishop by the government and is only allowed to be referred as administrator). The bishop (aka administrator) of the area she worked at up north was imprisioned for many years for speaking out against the the distortion of the government and about churchs teachings that the government didn't want preached. Numberous times was he imprissioned but he still remains strong fervent in faith. All of what Sr. Collette was telling me really excited me because I never heard about all this, I've only heard about South Vietnam and about my family life in vietnam. Sr. Collette wanted to introduce me to Sr. Nrimala, but she wasn't busy at the time. It was such a blessing talking to Sr. Collette, she was so full of wisdom and God's love truly illuminated through her. She still writes to vietnam and its still her mission and order to try to get a house started in vietnam. She told me after 2 years of being in Vietnam with Sr. Nirmala and 2 other suisters up north and 4 MC sisters down south, they were kicked out of vietnam. The reason was because they were evangalizing. Mother Teresa told she cannot do social work without evangalization because she is not about social work but spreading the news and love of Christ and if that is through evangelization than that is what she's about. She did not want to change her ways but the government did not allow for the missionaries of charities to have a house in Vietnam. Sr. Collette told me because of this, Mother Teresa was stricken with sadness and soon after became her spiral of bad health and illness. The denial of a home in Vietnam had made mother really sad.
I'm keeping in contact with Sr. Collette when I'm back in states. It's been years since she's worked in vietnam. The MC sisters was there in 94-95'. But it is still Sr. Collette mission to get a house in vietnam for the orphans and poor. Sr. Collette said she wants to write to me during christmas and easter and try to keep in touch with me. She said if she gets permission from the government of vietnam in her lifetime she'll let me know. She wants me to be there to help when they first start a house in Vietnam. I felt a great previllage to be asked so... I don't know what the future has in stored for me and I don't know if during Sr. Collete's or my life time the Missionaries of Charities will be able to enter vietnam to start a house, but I pray that I get the strength, opportunity and protection ... that if I'm called to ever do so, that I can be a part of something that Mother Teresa desired so strongly in her life to see but never got to see her House in Vietnam. Sr. Collette talked to me about the great faith of those that were Catholics... how they'd come to mass an hour early from all over, near and far, and pray the rosary together, recieve reconciliation and than enter into the celebration of the mass. This faith is something I see still strong in my family's tradition and in my relatives. It is a devotion that is so beautiful but their is still much work of love that needs to be done in the community, for the orphans and the poor. This is something the sisters are still trying to get started in vietnam.

I arrived late to Daya Dan and was sent with a message from Sr. Karina to Sr. Johana Fa. There was 231 new volunteers this week on top of the 500 or so volunteers. It's strict orders from Sr. Karina that the cards must be checked and if the volunteers don't have AM or PM shifts or is at the wrong sight they get sent back home to their hotels. This is great news but also very sad! It's great to hear that so many people are inspired to come and serve the poor in Kolkata and work alongside the Missionaires of Charity but it's also sad because, many volunteers will now only be able to work only one shift and probably don't get the opportunity to choose where they want to work. There's so much work to be done and there is actually many MC homes in India. There's many work to be done all over the world for a matter of fact, we just have to have the eyes to see the need of those of the poor. Poverty isn't only the lack of materlistic items but it's the marginalization of what is human, it is the lack of love, poverty is those who suffer from being dejected and abused. There is poverty all over the world, many of us suffer from a poverty ourselves... it's a goal to find Jesus in the poor and that's in the disguise of those around us. It's within the poverty that is in our neighbors that Jesus seeks and calls for us to satiate his thirst through others. This is how we live a life of charity.

In the classroom today I taught mongol we started a new book and didn't get far but class time has been cut shorter each day because we're starting too late... I came extremely late but when I arrived nobody started yet. There's a shortage on teachers and the children are starting to loose focus of the importances of their education. It's become more of play time than a privillage to be in the classroom. We're changing up a lot of things as of tomorrow. It's been slacking way too much since the day I came back from travels. Given there are a fewer teachers and 2 new teachers but today I suggested Corina since she'll be here till september and is English-speaking. There's been too many in and out teachers and many of them don't speak english very well. So it becomes harder for the students to progress in the studies.
Music time today was still a struggle. mongol was very frustrated again with the lack of participation. I'm not sure what's going on but everywhere... upstairs and downstairs there's be a lack of enthusiasim in the children and volunteers. I swear, the volunteers has forgotten why they're here. Which really frustrates me because I had Megha asked (in the microphone) twice today that the volunteers please clap along, sing along, OR try to envolve the children. Nothing.... they just sat there by themselves totally bored and even worst off the children sat their bored or ran around and found their own thing to do. I'm not sure what I can do but I think tomorrow morning I need to talk with the volunteers before music class. I didn't realize how important it is until working with children for this long of a period of time that by how we act or express ourselves the children surely will follow. I have to do the DUMBEST dance moves that I'm thinking in my head..." I look like an idoit right now" but... the childern laugh because I'm laughing at myself and the children copy me and dance with me! And that's so important. They only have music time once a day and all other time of the day they are eating, in their cribs or sitting around somewhere maybe with a volunteer. This is the one hour of the day they get to express themselves in dance and songs!
After music class and after all the volunteers left, I stayed back and began to sketch out the drawings on the wall for the painting that needed to be done in the newly constructed/remodeled room. In one corner Corina and I drew out ships and boats and on the other side of the room in the corner we drew a bunch of animals taking a bath! It was all fun cartoon drawings and today was just the sketch... we'll start painting them tomorrow. The days are honestly starting to get longer and my free time A LOT shorter! I come home and eat and sleep... that's about all I do. Somehow I manage to find time to blog. But honestly this is my only free time. So please continue to pray for Corina and I. Things are picking up and it seems like there'll be another volunteer's day that i may be helping at right before I leave. So that might mean choir practice on top of my long day. So.... prayers prayers prayers! Thank you so much everyone! I love you all dearly!

Hide and seek

2007-08-13T06:13:00.001-07:00

This morning at breakfast, Candis one of the long term working came up to me and said one of the sisters are looking for me... Sr. Collete. Sr Collete is one of the older senior MC sister. very well respected by all the other MC sisters. She never comes downstairs into the volunteer room and Candis told me she came into the volunteer room today and asked specifically to talk to me. I was parshly busy at the time and didn't go straight up to see her and was introduced to some Japanese girls that needed me to take them to Daya Dan because it was their first day and they didn't know how to get there, than I got another tap on the shoulder. This time it was Sr. Druscilla and she said... Sr. Collete wanted to talk to me and she came downstairs into the volunteer room. She said, "Sr. Collete never comes into the volunteer room so you must go see her." Then I turned around and Sr. Collete had came back downstairs and was at the entry of the volunteer room. She looked over at me with a great smile. She's old and frail but expresses great enthusiasm, joy, and love through her smile and eyes. She said "I don't know if you remember me, My name is Sr. Collete, I talked to you before I left on my trip and told you I wanted to talk when I come back." I diffinately remember her, I met her about 3 weeks ago for no more than 5 minutes and she was headed out to go outside Kolkata to help with something. Sr. Collete told me she's been thinking about me and if I find time that I can come to Mother house anytime and she'll be here and just ask any of the Sister for Sr. Collete. She rushed me out the door because she noticed that it was minutes before work and that a group was waiting for me to go with them to Daya Dan.
I couldn't believe that she even remembered telling me she wanted to talk when she gets back and even more so being so persistent about it. She told me she visited Vietnam and stayed there for 2 years and would love to talk to me about her experience. It is one of her most favorite place.

When I got to Daya Dan I was the only teacher that showed up, and I showed up about 20 minutes late. The room was full of kids and so i thought to myself... I guess its another day of art class. I started teaching Mongol a game. Where there are many of dots and you have to take turn to draw a line and try to make a square but you don't want the other person to get any squares. It was a really good game for Mongol because it made him think about future actions; if he was to place a line here or there what would it cause and would I be able to gain multiple squares or just one square because of the move he made. Mongol really enjoyed the game and picked it up quick. I played easy with him the first few times and made sure he won by a few so he would get some confidences to keep on wanting to play. Blanca, one of the other teachers, came in minutes after I did and than after here Nick came, and than Hidi. Everyone was late. It was raining hard today so the could of been a major reason but by the time all the teachers was there Sr. Johana Fa from downstairs had asked for Mongol, Megha, and Raul to come downstair to start preparing music for Mother Teresa's Feast Day/ 10 year Memorial. I stayed in the classroom and helped out with whatever I could and then also took some time to go meander from physical therapy, into the bedrooms, kitchen, and main gathering room. When 10am rolled around I went downstairs and led music class. It was a little rough today because there were many new volunteers downstairs and it was a break for them or something because the kids were off the wall and many volunteers just sat there entertained by music time rather then trying to keep the kids from running around or being envolved with the music. The kids weren't singing much today and Mongol was really frustrated because he felt as if nobody cared. Which I could understand his frustration because it was pretty chaotic today during music class.
After music class it was feeding time, and then all the volunteer left because it was the end of the first shift. I stayed back to watch the kids in the classroom during 12-3. During this time the MC sisters took time for themselves; prayers, lunch, and nap. The masis did the same. Many of the children were in their crib and napping but some kids were able to stay up and that was Megha, mongol, neisha, raul and a couple other kids that came in and out of the class room. We played the square box game for a while. mongol is getting better and better at it and played a long game with Corina because she stayed back with me so we could start drawing the paintings on the wall this afternoon. Megha and Divya played the game with me and they were a little more confused on how the game worked but it was still fun. Mona, one of the masis (divya's mom) made Corina and I lunch. There was some spicy pickle/pepper thing and mongol and megha wanted it and so I gave it to them. Corina is horrible with spicy stuff and gave hers too. They said the love it and it was so funny to watch them eat it. It must had been extremely spicy because their face cringed as they ate it and they were breathing pretty hard, but usually when something is too hot, people would stop but not Mongol and Megha they kept at it. I told Mongol why don't you stop if it's too hot and he replied to me " I asked if, I could have it... so I should finish." He was such a sport and those words amazed me. How often is my stomach bigger than my eye and I pile too much food on my plate or order too much at a resturant and let a lot go to waste. Here Mongol taught me such an incredible lesson which, of course I knew in the back of my mind but made it so much more real being here in Kolkata. Finish everything... there's so much we waste and so much that people need! We're blessed with what we have and when we ask for more and recieve... make use of it! Don't waste and throw it away.
After lunch Corina and I took Mongol and Megha in their wheel chair to play hide and seek. They absolutely love the game and always love playing it at the park which they haven't done in a long time but today for the first time they played it at Daya Dan! We were hiding all over each floor. It was so much fun because I took Mongol down to the bottom floor on the elevator and after 20 minutes+ megha and corina came looking for us... we saw the elevator coming down and hid around the corner from it... they got off the elevator and went around the other corner and as soon as they did.. we rushed back into the elevator and went back to the top floor and hid in the classroom... the room they were counting from. It was pure genius and it took them forever ever to find us! Then it was the other way around, I took Megha to go hide and Mongol was being certain that he could find her in less then 20 minutes so I told him ok... we'll make it easier for him and only stay on this top floor and still give him that 20 minutes. I took megha and put her wheel chair in the kitchen and carried her and sat her in the closet where the shoes and backpack was by the physical therapy room. All the masis were laughing because they were watching the whole thing and seeing Mongol and Cornia passing by it so many times. It's a very remote closet that gives you and outside view, not many volunteers even know that there's a closet there. I snuck out a couple of time from the closet and had Megha wait for me there... mongol and Cornia would see me walking around but had no clue where Megha was. I took tried to go in and out of many rooms and doors so they didn't know which door was I mainly coming from. It really threw them off and the Masis got a kick watching the confusion. Well 20 minutes passed and they finally found Megha sitting criss crossed in the closet. She laughed hystarically and was so happy. The Masis were laughing and everyone had such a great time!

It was now 3:30pm and there was still no sign of any MC sisters. I went downstair and waited for Sr. Johana Fa. We wanted to start drawing and painting but realized that we were never told which picture did she wanted at which spot on the wall. So we waited for her to come. After a while I went to the floor where all the sisters stayed and asked for her and she came out totally suprised that I was still there. She felt so sorry and told us sorry for making us wait. She was worried we didn't get any lunch and told us we can head home and start tomorrow since she made us wait so long today. Well... there's much work that needs to be done. The painting that needs to be done takes up a big part of the wall and along with that there are many places she wanted us to paint. She also wanted to make pictures for the offertory but I'm not sure if that'll be finished in time along with these other paintings and she said the priority will be placed on the walls of Daya Dan. Well .... it seems like I'll be taking on 3 shifts a day now... 1st shift from 8:30-12, 12-3, and 3-5:30! It's going to be rough but sleep will be amazing each night. I already am taking naps each day I come home from work and still feel so exhausted during the morning and during the day. So pray for my strength to carry on strong!

music at mass

2007-08-12T03:58:00.000-07:00

I got to sleep in a little today because I was planning on going to mass at Daya Dan which starts at 9, although sister Joahna fa wanted me to be there at 8 am. Either way I slept in till 6:30am which felt good since I was so dead tired last night. We grabbed breakfast to go since we weren't headed to mother house for breakfast and went out towards the metro, when I arrived at the metro it was closed... I thought to myself "It's pass seven, why isn't it open?" Then I remembered the metro doesn't open on sunday till 2 or 3 pm. I've been having the worst luck with the metro in the morning towards daya dan. Well, I found a taxi on sudder street and checked if he had a fare chart and hopped on in. I've become fairly familar with the streets in Kolkata and can drive myself there if I had a car so I told him where to go and ran it by the meter. It felt nice to be familiarized with the crazy streets of Kolkata and was able to tell the guy to take the turns that headed back on the streets when he took a wrong turn to try to take me on a detour to run my meter. I was able to tell the taxi driver by street names and show him directly to daya dan and it felt amazing! I fare was almost 60 Rps so I tipped him a little extra because out of all the taxi drivers I've taken besides my own hotel taxi driver, he gave me the least problems.
I got to Daya Dan and sister put me straight to work, setting up the mass and bringing up the mics/stand , reciever, and speakers. I ran a quick music rehershal with all the downstairs children or all the parts of the mass that was going to be sung. It was so adorable with all the kids dressed in matching colored shirts. I love it so much! Mongol and Megha led singing for me during mass and I only played the guitar. It was really nicely done. Raul played the drums today.
The priest gave an amazing homily on service and fighting for life and how the service we do is a service to perserve life and at the end of time how God will thank us for perserving his children when all has lost hope, dignity and respect for life.
After mass, I helped get the children to where they needed to be; whether it was upstairs, downstairs, in the feeding room or sitting in the main eatting room. Today i helped feed Sanju in the feeding room. He's a lot older then some of the children there and a little more difficult to feed but today was was amazing! He finished his food without a fight. I'm always so suprised at how much food the children finish. The masis always give me a plate with an immense amount of food, twice as much rice as I would eat on my biggest meal and they top it off with curry. Than once the child finish that they would fill up my plate with mango juice and a side of apple sauce! It's insane but I can understand why they give them so much in one sitting. The children are only fed 1 and 1/2 meal a day and it's a really tough task to get all the children fed, especially without a lot of masis or some volunteers.
When the day was finished I was headed out and was stopped by Sr. Johana Fa and was asked to do more drawings; she wanted Corina and I to draw some (and when i say some I mean A LOT) pictures for an offertory for mass on September 2nd, a big mass for the feast day on the 5th. She wanted a painting of our holy father, of mother, of Sr. Nirmala, all the MC sister and fathers, the volunteers, children and the poor! This is on top of painting the icons on the walls. Sr. Johana Fa keeps looking and asking me when I'm going to return when she already know that I've told her I'm leaving Kolkata the 27th because I need to be back for my sister's wedding. She adds in... can't you just stay? You can come back. She really wants me to be here so they have a guitar player for the 2nd of September, the 5th and the 8th of September. All of which are important dates for the society. I'm really sad that I won't be able to make it for Mother's 10 year memorial and won't be here when Sr. Nirmala comes, but at the same time I'm excited that I'll be home soon although it hasn't really kicked it. It seems a little surreal if the time would ever come. Leaving India seems weird to me now. I've become so use to the fact that home is so far away that coming back seems like a fantasy or wishful thinking but realizing my time is coming to an end really makes me want to put as much as I can into my day! My blogs are getting a little more tidious and possibly shorter because my daily work is the same but only if I was able to convey my experience with everyone who reads this ... you would understand each day is an encounter and meeting with Christ in disguise. I seriously find some of my happiest moments with the kids at Daya dan and feel so filled by the love of Christ through their smiles, their tears, their laughters and their comfort.

Prayer:
My dear sweet Jesus, you've given me your everything; our daily bread, the air we breathe, and the world's beauty, through your creation you have given us all. You've gave to us your beloved Mother Mary at the foot of the cross, so we may be guided by the Mother of the Most High only to your sweet embrace. When much is given, much responsibility is expected and you've given me more than I ever can dream and ask for, but yet my Lord, I suffer from my laziness. I take the things you've given me for granted and am slothful with my time. May you take my life and mold, conform and transform it to become a messenger of your love, voice, and message to others. Make use of me your servant and help me learn to serve as you have serve to those of the poorest of the poor. To those that were dejected and unloved. Teach me oh Divine master... I place myself in your hands.

Caitlins last day

2007-08-11T02:24:00.000-07:00

I couldn't open my eyes this morning. It was so hard for me to roll out of bed 10 after 5. I can't wait till I'm able to go home and just sleep in! I miss sleeping in, haha. Anyways Mass was great like always, the preist gave an amazing homilee. This morning it was so jammed pack in the volunter's room. It felt like there was every 350+ volunteer there at breakfast. There was no room to seat and barely any room for standing. It was Caitlin's last day so the volunteer and sisters sang the thank you farewell song. We stayed back a little later so Sr. Karina could give Caitlin a little gift. The bus and autorickshaw was like any other day for me but it was Corina's first bus and autorickshaw ride here in India. I forget how much of a differences it is for Corina and towards me. It just feels as if she and everyone else has been here forever. Which might be a good thing because she's not sticking out too much. I didnt work in the classroom today I helped out in physical therapy for a little bit and was able to sit and talk to Sr. Capita for a while about vocation, relationships and marriage. She's fun and I'll miss her when I leave for surely. Today was a saturday so the physical therapist came in and I was able to chat with them awhile while I was working with one of the child. Iwas in, out and about around Daya Dan helping with a bunch of random this and that.
Today there was a big group of people leaving, it was not only the last day for Caitlin but also the last day for 20 people from spain, and about 4 of them worked at Daya Dan and on top of the it was Boro Ma last day also (It means Big mama; she's the head superior at Daya Dan and was headed back to the States for a visit) We threw a party at Daya Dan there was cake, cupcake, sweets, mango juice, and sparkling apple cider. It was so great to see all the kids so excited and hyped.
Sr. needed me to figure some songs out for Mass tomorrow and come play music for mass so I spent time after the children ate doing that. Its hard somewhat to figure out music when all they have for me is music and when they sing the songs for me it's all in different keys... one person would sing the song in this key, and someone in another. It was a tedious task trying to figure out notes for the song and a relative key for everyone to sing it.

Well on the way back home I was bargined for Caitlin for a pair of sandals she tried to get yesterday but couldnt get the guy to sell it for less than 150 Rps. I myself bought this same pair for my shower sandals for 70 so today i tried to bargin for her... I got us both one because my strap is completely torn off and I have no shower sandals and I got one pair for 65 Rps! I was excited. Anyways, I'm not sure what we're up for tonight... it being Caitlin's last night in India, it's up for her to deciede. I think we're giong to try to see Vicotria and the Singing lights but... we'll see. For lunch though, I bought a green coconut from the street and drank the juice straight out of the coconut and had two side dish of veg noodles from Tirupati fro 13rps each. It was a very good, filling and cheap meal! ... less than 50 cents! I always get so excited when I convert how much I spent back into US dollars! Well, I'm out... I'm going to nap because I'm tired. I never get enough sleep here.

Cleansing of hands

2007-08-10T07:03:00.000-07:00

It's a friday today. Every friday sr. Capita has told me, "you must come to Daya at 6:45 for mass with MC father". So that was the plan. We were up and out of the hotel by 5:45 and when we got to the metro station it was closed. I figured maybe it's a little early for it to run, so we stopped at a stand and had a cup of chai and some sweet bread. I ended up chatting with a man that was a little ... in the head. All the locals where distance from him, but he wasn't really bothering me. He just wanted to talk. So I sat and listened to some crazy love drama he had/has and than he went off inBangali thinking that I understood him... but I continued to act as if I did. Afterwards, we found out the metro doesn't open till 7am and that would of been too late for us. So I went down sudder street looking for a taxi. My taxi driver was asleep and I woke him up... to find out a relative cost to get to where I was headed, he told me it should cost 30 Rps. So I went around asking taxi drivers and they all tried to get me to pay 150 Rps. I was just so fet up with all the taxi drivers, and when I told them I'll show them the way and they can just run the meter and I'll pay by the chart fare, they wouldn't say anything and said it's impossible to get it for less than 150, although the ride is less than 15 minutes away and I've gone to the train station for 65-100 Rps several times. So I was just sick of all the lying and went back to my Bundu and he was awake and took us to Daya Dan. I paid him 50 Rps, 20 more than he asked for just because he gave me the rate straight up and fair. When we got to daya dan; Corina, Caitlin and I were the only volunteers there early. I looked around and realized nobody was at mass. I asked sister if there was mass at 6:45 today and she chuckled, realizing everytime they've tried to get me to come to friday mass at Daya Dan something went wrong where I couldn't make it and this time I decieded to go on my own and .... well the MC father called her late last night and told them he couldn't make it. So just my luck. Corina, Caitlin and I ended up going down into the chapel anyways and said a rosary and did the daily readings/gospel together ourselves. It was Corina first day at Daya Dan and I was so happy she got to start off slowly before all the other volunteers came. I got to introduce her to the sisters there also and so it was a better transition I guess. I helped out in the classroom like usual (which is kind of sad because I really miss doing physical therapy with the children), but in class today I worked with Megha because she kept asking to have me teach her. Which made me feel special but than we weren't able to really do school work today because Sr. Christalata had something else planned for us. The head superior of Daya Dan was flying over to Wash. D.C. sunday early morning and tomorrow was her last day so Sr wanted Megha to make her a card with pictures of all the kids in the card. So we spent the whole morning cutting out pictures, drawing, and writing a letter for the head superior. Music time was great like always. I didn't play the guitar today, I had the spainard play since he took over for me while I was traveling and tomorrow was his last day here. Music class was great and so entertaining! The kids were doing tumble and rolls to get applauded and would come and sing the ABCs and 123s . I just adore it when they sing or can do something so well but independent. It makes them sooo happy when they finish and get the applause. The children just brighten up, jump and dance because how happy they feel after getting the support and encouragement.
I introduced Corina to Sr. Johana Fa (the sister downstair) and told her that we could help paint the pictures onto the walls at Daya Dan since she asked me about artist. And she said that God answered her prayers because she was praying for some artist to come help paint cartoonish/kiddish things on the wall. Whether it's of children, school stuff, music, relgious... she just wanted something beautiful on the wall and Corina definately is capable of that... as for myself... I'll color within the lines if Corina draws it out for me, haha. So next week I'll start working morning shifts, possibily staying during noon time in the classroom and than go straight from that to afternoon shift and paint pictures the downstair room that just was constructed. I'll be working from 8:30am - 5:30pm. But i only have a few weeks left... so i'll hit em hard.
After the morning shift was over, I ended up staying back for noon time while all the volunteers left. They needed someone in the classroom during this time while the sisters went and did their lunch, prayers, and nap time. I stayed back and worked with Megha and her friend Divya (she's a daughter of one of the Masis and is on school holiday so she's been at Daya Dan for the past few days). We played cards and than played Memory cards. Megha is absolutely incredible at memory card! She won the WHOLE deck of 100 cards (50 matches)! And I didn't even get ONE! She's incredible! This cute little nine year old. She can't really reach or grasp things very well with her hands so she had me flip the cards for her but she would tell me " over, up, left, right...yes that card" and I swear she had xray vision or something because she was SOOO good!
Megha needed me to take her to the bathroom (remember Megha is in a wheel chair and she has difficulties with many muscle functions). She took me over to the bathroom and told me step by step how she needed to go. It was so adorable. She said ... "you need to pick me up like a baby (craddle me in your arms- she doesn't like being picked up and swung over the shoulders) and than lay me down on the bed, take off my pant, put me on the toilet and then I'll tell you when I'm finish and than you'll need to take me back to the bed, put my pants back on and carry me like a baby back to my chair." She was so cute and so comfortable with me... I picked her up out of her wheel chair and she was laying in my arms and looked up at me and I looked down at her and she said, "you know what Uncle? you're very nice. I really like you. I think you are a very nice Uncle." It was so precious to me I wanted to cry!
It was a little funny afterward when I put her on the toliet seat because when she was on the seat she looked over at me and was like...uh oh, i just went caca and giggled... and said "so you need to get a wet towel for me too." hahahaha! It was the funniest thing I heard because of her cute little smile with it and how carefree she was saying it.
We hung out some more and played some cards all afternoon and the masis made me lunch at Daya Dan and afterwards I ran outside and bought some cadbury chocolate from the market on the street for Megha, Divya and the Masis. I heard earlier Megha and Divya saying something about chocolate so i figured, why not. They were really happy when I gave them some chocolate. I was pretty warm out so the chocolate were a little melted and a mess to eat.
Megha asked me to take her over so she can wash her hands and face. I brought her to the bathroom where there was a fosset along the wall and turned it on for her. She slowly washed her hands and than cupped her hands as well as they were able to cup water and splashed it onto her face. She spent about 10 minutes washing up and looked up at me and said, "Tuan you will wait for me, no? Don't hurry, you will wait." Awww...she've said some amazing things to me today that really challenged me to grow in love and patiences. Than she did something beyond words, totally unexpected and I felt so unworthy of such great love. She said "give me your hands uncle. I will wash your hands" She reached for my hands and held one of her tiny hands support my hands and using her other hand to cup water and rub it onto my hands! I slid my hands under the running water and she said... no no, i will wash them. And she continued to wash my hands. She asked me to turn over my hands so she can wash the other side of my hands... she did this so joyfully and so lovingly. I've never had anyone wash my hands that resembled Jesus the way she washed my hands today. I was in awe, that I was before God's most precious child and finding Him in the most beautiful disguise, in the youth and love of a child. She wanted to do something for me... and he way to show me was to wash my hands... the very small thing she was able to do on her own was to cup her hands and to move them to wash herself and she wanted to share her talent and her gift with me. She gave me more than I could ever ask for and I'm ever greatful for this greatest gift in the simpliest disguise. I realize that love doesn't need to give in extraordinary things and ways but with immense love. If love is always the motivation behind our giving, our gifts would touch hearts in ways money and things can't. The thirst for love is only quenched by love itself and every soul yearns for that comfort. We must begin always to think lovingly and than to be motivated by love to act on it and sharing the love with others.
I came back to sudder street and went straight toward mother house, Corina was at Orientation and I wanted to be able to meet her and Caitlin up for adoration or prayers afterwards but instead we were able to catch a 4:30 mass at Mother's tomb. There was a relic of Mother Teresa and at the end of mass everyone was given he opportunity to line up and have a blessing from Mother and kiss the relic. It was so beautiful. Well my day has been packed and I just had dinner and it's only 8:30 or so but i'm EXHAUSTED! So I'm off to bed! Take care, God bless everyone! I miss you all!

Communist Strike

2007-08-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterady July 8th was one of the weirdest days here in Kolkata, India. I know this is my first blog since I've been back. I honestly been meaning to blog about my travels in India which was amazing but never got around to it because all that's been going on. Well Cornia arrived at 3 am yesterday morning which was a suprise to me because i thought she told me midnight the next day... minutes after Briana would leave, but appartently not. I recieved a phone call from Sara at 2 in the morning telling me that corina was at the airport waiting for me. So I had her take a taxi back to sudder and i stood out on the streets for a while until she arrived. The streets of Kolkata is so quiet at night, total opposite from the day time. I saw some of the locals and just sat around talking to them waiting for Cornia to arrive at Sudder. I wanted to wait outside because first off, I didn't think the taxi driver will know exactly where hotel Maria was at and secondly I was sure that the drive would try to rip her off. Well A taxi pulled in around 3 and turned on its brights and so I couldn't really tell if anyone was in the car. So I told Bundu (my friend) to stop the taxi and see and ask... since it drove pass me although I stood in front of it. He told me the person in the taxi was headed to fairland lodge. I figured it wasn't corina because she wouldn't even know the name fiarland lodge. I stood in the middle of Sudder street by hotel maria and minutes after that last taxi passed I saw a blonde gal walking down the streets towards me... Yeah, it was Corina. She was in that last taxi. He drove her away from me because he probably figured I knew the relative price of the fare and although Corina pointed me out to him he said it wasn't safe to stop here and kept on driving away from me down sudder and ended up talking her into paying 750 Rps or so... almost 4 times more than what she should of paid. I went after the driver as soon as i found out with some of the locals but... he took off before Corina even told me. Frustrated but... what can you do. Many of the taxi drivers here will rip you off... you just got to expect it and know the relative price. They'll give you a fake chart that they typed up themselves with the more expensive fare... so you also have to know what the real chart looks like.

Well we got Corina checked in and had to get up for mass in 2 hours. So I tried to sleep as much as I could but was laying awake for abouty 30 minutes thinking about the taxi driver. I dont know what it is but I get so pissed at the taxi drivers, I always tip generously here in India, sometime giving a 100% tip or more but when someone tries to cheat me out of something just because I'm a foriegner I don't buy into it and dont' tip at all and even more so I get really mad. Anyways, I got to bed... and it was a horrible night of sleep. Two hours in a stiff hard bed, since I didn't planned that corina was coming in on a day when Briana was still there. Our room is a three person room so I gave Corina my bed and paid for a dorm room which the beds in the dorm room of hotel maria is pretty much sheets on wood. So we walked the streets that was so famaliar to me that i've been away from for a while... the same street that briana would walk for the last time this year towards mother house. Mass was great... althought I'm positive that we forgot to say the profession of faith , after the homily but... eh. It was so nice being in the Mother House. It was so nice seeing all the sisters and several of them going out of their way to say hi or wave hi although they were in the middle of a conversation with someone else. It was just so welcoming to come back and feel as if I was missed and having some of the MC sisters ask me about my trip and telling me welcome back, or where have I been. I didn't realize that they would even notice if I left for a week since there's over 350+ volunteers. So I was extremely happy right from the start. During breakfast I introduced Corina to Sr. Karina. A moment I've been longing for... I"m actually not sure how Sr. Karina spells her name but ... for some reason I've been spelling it with a K. Well after breakfast sister sat us down and told us some horrible news/sad news. She told us that she wanted all the girls volunteers to head back to their hotels for today and stay within their hotel for the day. Today (yesterday, the 8th) was a labor strike for the communist party. Sr Karina told us that in the past two previuos years there has been bus bombing, after they've bomb the bus it forces the people out of it and the bus and some people would get stoned and it's especially not safe for a foreign girl to be in that situation . 2 years ago a volunteer was on a bus that was bombed and the year afterwards she returned to work with the MC and during the same strike her bus was bombed again. So unluckily it had happened twice to her but thankfully that was all that happened. The bus was bombed so it was out of service. Which sounds like the bombs are only small enough to ruin the axle or something to slow down the bus. But earlier this year in feb/dec during the same strike someone was killed (i dont think it was any volunteers) but because of so the Sr. wanted to send all the girls back to the hotel and advise the guys that if today they feel as if they needed to catch up on anything else that its a good day to take off. Well.... it was extremely sad news for Briana because it was her last day volunteering and she wanted to go to Shishu Bahavan and say her good byes and take some pictures of her work. The strike began at 8 and she had 30 minutes till than she her and Corina left to Shishu and Briana said her goodbyes and headed back to our hotel. I figured, because of the lack of volunteers today and because how much I missed Daya Dan because of my traveling and not being able to work that i'd go to Daya Dan regardless and just pray for protection and guidance. So I hopped on the bus to Manictala. When I got on the bus it was the weirdest feeling ever... it was so empty! Usually people are fighting a seat and it's so packed that people would have to stand but there was barely anyone on the bus! I sat praying my rosary for safety on my journey. It seriously was just nerveracking being on the bus. I got off the bus at manictala and someone even more stranged and errie happened. Not a single autorickshaw was running. Although they sat across the streets in the autorickshaw, none of the rickshaw drivers would pick us up and they just laid in their seats and took off the day. The street was empty. No cars, no horns, no rickshaw! I couldn't believe it. I started walking down the street to Daya Dan since there was no rickshaw running. It was several blocks away and on my walk there i ended up walking by a manula rickshaw driver. He had an empty rickshaw... I looked over out of curiosity and we made eye contact.... but he didn't say anything. He didn't ask "rickshaw?" NOTHING! Instead he kept on walking. As weird or nice as it would usually be on any other day... it just freaked me out yesterday that I wasn't bugged by a single rickshaw driver, the roads were dead empty, and no horns. So after a long errie walk, i finally got to daya dan. It was so nice to be back everyone on of the sisters at Daya Dan welcomed me back and told me i was missed and kept asking how much longer will I be here. It was a really comforting feeling. I love being at daya Dan. Because of the strike schools were close so the students from Daya Dan that would sometime go to actual schools were here at daya dan and some of the school kids came to daya dan also. There was on me and one other guy here to teach a big group of students, so we made it art class today. Art class is usually on saturdays but the sisters wanted something for all the students to keep busy and it was simple and interactive for all since they were all at different learning levels and it would have been impossible to teach otherwise. I led music class at 10 and had Megha help sing since Mongol was sick that day. After the day's work, I took my break at the end of everything. I spent it in a room with sr. Christalata and she told me a lot about the children at Daya dan. We talked about how the children were dropped off, and which children do we know about their parents. I found out a lot about the mental, retardation, and physcial difficulties of many of the children I worked with. How many of them won't live pass to age 20 and sadly to hear that the students I work with specifically, Mongol and Megha, were dropped off as a child in front the Shishu, MCs house and there are no records of their parents but they suffer from a disease that deteriorates their muscles and that's why they're so skinny and can't walk and will forever be in a wheel chair. They suffer from no mental problems and are such brillant kids but Sister told me they more than likely won't live pass the age 20 because Sisters had a child that had the same problems that they suffer from and three years before he died his muscles in his mouth stopped working and he was unable to talk and then after 3 years his heart muscle gave out. He passed away earlier this year and sister told me that he was as smart as Mongol and Megha when he was younger. It was the most devastating thing for me to hear. I love them with all my heart and want to show them how much they're cared about. I want to be their pernament teacher because the teachers here comes and go, none that they feel stay long enough for them. I want to see them suceed in reading, math, and gramar and be able to get jobs to help others. They're so precious to me and makes me so sad to hear that they may never be able to experience the most simple things that I take for granted. A teacher that stays with me, being able to walk, to go outside whenever I want and to do which ever I please. I hurts me to know that I can't take any of their sufferings that already they've suffered so much, and continuously will suffer and even more so when they get older. It hurts me to know that I can't take a glimsp of that. I feel so unworthy sometimes because of all the things I take for granted. Things that children loves to do... to recieve, and to experience. Sr told me that little Piya will never be able to walk due to some retardation problems in mental and phsycial connection to her legs and told me about Prince one of my students and how he was when he arrived at the doorstep of the MCs house. I was so privilleged to have this opportunity to learn more about the children I was working with and it gave me a greater love for them and the sympathy was not only for them but for my life... for how much I have to learn and grow in. For the lack of love I show althoguh I have so much grace and love given to me. My shift ended at Daya Dan and I took the metro back to Sudder. I was extremely happy the Metro was running because i didn't want to take the bus back.
During the evening we spent the evening going to wherever Briana wanted to go. It was her last night and she was leaving here at 9:30pm for the airport. We went to NewMarket to the ATM because she needed to get some money out for rent and some last minute things such as a taxi cab and whatnot, but because of the strike all the banks ATM were closed. New Market itself was really errie to be in. More than half of the stores stands were closed and the ones that were opened didn't want to bargin at all. We were told that the ATM at the airport was be open although all these ATMs were closed. Later that evening, Briana wanted to go to a resturant called moulin rouge which apparently was really good, so we did just that and got ice cream after dinner. I got back to the hotel and arranged a taxi driver for her and took her to the airport. Sadly the ATM wasnt open. But it wasn't a problem I'll pay for her rent and taxi ride since I don't have any worries about it returning since we go to the same school and all but it was just SOO weird at the airport! Usually when I walk out of the airport there are sooooo many taxi drivers asking and nagging at you if you need a taxi driver. But yesterday there wasn't a single yellow taxi in sight. The only cars that was at the airport where arranged business cars and the drivers stood by the exit holding the sign with the persons name. Or cars of family members in India but no taxi drivers. I couldnt believe it... it was just such an interesting day. Something I wasn't use to for surely but a creepy experience. I don't think I've ever been so aware about my surroundings. Everything that passes me every person that looked at me or anything that touched me.

Today was a much better day, After waking up with only 2 hours of sleep and not getting back from dropping Briana off at the airport and in bed till past mid night, a thursdsay (volunteers day off) felt AMAZING! I slept in till 10:30am and then skyped & email. Did laundry... since i was totally out of clean clothes, and have been eating in between all that. That's honestly all i've done today but it was nice just catching up on nessesary things to do. I don't know when I'll have time to blog about my travels in India, but honestly it was amazing. Darjeeling is spectacular and breathtaking. The most beauitful sight i've see in nature... the Himalayas foothills and mountain are so peaceful and stunning. Over at Varanasi it's very centered around the GANGA! The ganga in the evening is so beautiful and there were some amazing temples. As for PURI... I LOVE THE BEACH! It was crazy cool! So relaxing. I diffinately will have to find some time to talk about my travel time here in India and the crazy stories I have.... here's some things that may keep you on the edge of your seat until I find time to blog about it; Caitlin ran full on into an autorickshaw, the effects of Malaria pills and minimum amount of sleep, umm...I lost my bag with my video camera-picture camera- jounral and most importantly passport, camael or camael rides on the beach, Massive rain, crazy boat ride tour guide as we cruised the Ganga....etc. Anyways Traveling was fun! And the glimps of what i listed should really stir up some curiousity for everyone.
Well, I'm home safe in Kolkata and will try my best to blog daily but there's been lots going on for me here and I don't know how often I can find time to blog. But I did start writing in a journal since I've been traveling and it's practically filled!

Well, I send everyone my blessing. Please pray for Briana's flight she should be arriving in the States in a couple of hours and pray for Caitlin's travel she heads home this saturday and of course keep Corina and I in your prayers as we continue on trying to find Jesus in Disguise and strength for all trials and challenges while we're here!

Guess who's back

2007-08-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

Oh buddy oh boy! India is freak'n spectacular! I can't believe all that I saw during my week of travels! I missed my train the first day of my travel and so my travel was cut back a day-2 short at Darjeeling. When I arrived in Darjeeling it was late so we stayed in Sliguri. It's a fun little town and a good get away from Kolkata. The hotel we stayed at in Silguri was a little more than what I was paying at in Kolkata but still less than 3 dollars a night but the room was by far, more cleaner and relaxing. There was AIR CONDITIONING! Our first meal on travel was at a resturant two doors down from our Hotel Manalia (I think that was what it was called) , but the resturant was SOOO nice and the same price as what I was paying for food in Kolkata! I was loving my travels already! Sitting outside under an umbrella table with the garden lit up... it was pretty sweet. The next morning we woke up and caught a Jeep to Darjeeling (3 hours away). In the jeep we crammed in about 12-13 people! It was a hell ride! It's diffinately one of the only way you can get up to Darjeeling with very limited time, otherwise you can take a toy train which takes about 10 hours or so but it's very luxurious and scenic. Well 3 hours crammed and cramp whinding up and around the foothills of the himalays made Caitlin a little car sick but when we got there it was the most breath taking town I've seen in my life! Even on the way up looking down on the himalayas was soooo beautiful. I've never seen anything like it. There were Bamboos as tall as evergreen trees that grew all up the hills of the Himalayas and families of monkeys running around. Waterfalls rolling off the rocks along side the whindy road up to Darjeeling. Everything was just sooo beautiful and surreal. We went above the clouds to the town of darjeeling and looking down was such an amazing site. Nonething really compares to being in Darjeeling. The town is built on the hills of the Himalayas and all throughout the Himalayas there are small towns. Built randomly in the hills. Looking out from Darjeeling all you really see is this hill that emerges from the clouds and than the town of Darjeeling. It's such an amazing feeling, I felt as if this town was floating on the clouds and built above the sky. So spectacular and breaktaking. And by far them most peaceful and helpful town I've been in. I couldn't believe I was still in India! It was a total 180 of what Kolkata is. Even the people in Darjeeling looked different. They had a more asian look to them and some of the locals mistaked me as a local and asked if I was from there, which made me laugh. There are a lot of people from Nepal in Darjeeling and everyone is just SO LAID BACK and the town is so calm and peaceful. That's as much justice I can do to describe it.

Volunteers day

2007-07-27T04:06:00.000-07:00

Caitlin, Briana, and I left an hour early to go walk to volunteers day. It was at a church off of Park circus/park st. None of knew what the church was called but we all figured... how many churches can there be on Park street in India.
When we got to park street I asked a salesman that was on the street where the closest catholic church was... he pointed me 10 minutes to the left. To be reasurred I also asked a police officer and he pointed me in the same direction saying it's a 10 minute walk and pointed to the church's staple which was visible but certainly didn't look like a 10 minute walk. When we arrived I realized that we just took the biggest detour from sudder street, we took a total U turn and passed sudder street. It was a half an hour walk after already walking to park st. We were at St. Paul's catherdal. Which was AMAZINGLY beautiful! After asking around we realized we were at the completely wrong church. So I asked the preist there, what is the church near Park Street. He told me I need to go to St. Thomas. So we took a taxi to St. Thomas. It's always a hassel trying to take the taxi and this taxi driver wasn't any better. I've became familiar with the streets around sudder and this taxi driver decieded to take me in circles. He took a right turn off of the main metro station road, then a left turn onto the tiniest street that was fully of traffic and than after a couple blocks and minutes he took another left turn and headed back to the metro station street. While he thought he was going to get away with take me in circles, was arguing and yelling at him in the taxi... I told him what street he needed to be on and drew out the circle he was taking me in. He was parshly suprised that I noticed the streets or even know some streets by name and quit his game playing. I told him to just follow where I tell him to go and stop taking his own detours because I was late already. When we arrived he tried to charge me extra for the ride that he already prolonged because of his circles, and than when I showed him his OWN meter chart and the fare for the meter he had nothing to say but when I got out of his car he told me there was a parking fee, because he's in a no parking zone... and that's when I got really irritated. One of the locals that worked at St. Thomas helped me out, he asked what was going on and the taxi driver said i haven't paid (trying to make it sound as if I haven't paid for the fare while at the same time making it sound to me as if I haven't paid the parking fee- which there's no such thing), I took the guy over to the taxi where I left his fare on his seat and pointed to the meter showing the I paid accordingly and he's trying to get me to pay something extra, the guy looked at the taxi driver as if he was a jerk and he laughed it off as if he didn't realize I already paid, and as if he wasn't trying to charge me for a parking fee. After that whole sence we finally arrived at St. Thomas! St. Thomas church is the church Mother Teresa funderal was held in! So I was really happy to be there! It was so beautiful. We got shown around the college there and went and talk to a sister that was in charge there.... sadly we were still at the wrong place! I asked the sister there, if I could just call mother house and ask them what church it was at. When I connected with an MC sister I founded out that it was at Christ the King Church, smaller catholic church off of park circus. the Sister at St. Thomas told us we needed to take a taxi to get there... we were already 45 minutes late and so there was no other way I wanted to get there. So we hoped into another taxi, once again we had some minor problems with the taxi driver trying to double/tripple the taxi fare but it was soon resolved and we were finally at the right place!
When I got up to the room, the International (USA) group was finishing their skit that I missed out on! They were walking up stage and caught notice that I was here! They then announced that their first act finally arrived and rushed me on stage! I was REALLY unprepared and the guitar was really out of tuned. I sat on staged, tuned the guitar as quick as I could with all the noise of the people and the street and played my song, "I thirst, Give till it hurts" The MC sisters loved it and so did the volunteers that was there. There was at least 400 people in the room there last night, 300+ volunteers and many sisters and other guest. I got a lot of compliments on the song I wrote and the MC sister wanted me to come and play it for the rest of the MC sisters the next day (today), which I'm not able to do because I'm leaving in a couple of hours to go travel. One of the volunter wanted to do a video recording of the song while another one that is a Music Art major want to use my song for her project this upcoming spring. It's a very honoring feeling to feel as if the song has touched so many people but the words honestly aren't mine, I feel as if I used many words of our blessed Mother Teresa in my lyrics and just feelings of yearning and thirst of the poor. After getting off stage I also found out we only missed 2 acts and there were plenty more after us. There was some amazing fun skits the Koreans did, Spanish, and French. The Italians did a sing a long contest, while the Spanish invited people up to dance! It was so much fun and very international! I loved it! I got to experience a little of every culture.
We watched a Mother Teresa video on a projector, the video is called Mother Teresa, the Legacy. It was a really beautiful video and was extremely exciting to see because I reconginzed many of the places that I saw on the video, I even recognized some of the MC sisters and patients. Volunteer day was a blast!
The MC sisters treated us to dinner, there was a resturant cateoring company that was there that donated for our volunteer day and made an AMAZING meal for us! IT was probably the best meal I've had since I've been here in India! We had glass plates, and metal spoons! Chicken, french fries, stew, soup, dinner rolls, and Ice cream for desert! It was truly an amazing treat! It was fun seeing alot of the MC sisters there. The MC sisters I work with at Daya Dan was also there and so was my student Mongol and some of the other children at Daya Dan that are usually downstairs was at the volunteer day. It was really special to be apart of. I'm really glad that I moved my traveling time a week back so I can have the opportunity to make it to this.

Today I worked at Daya Dan and was in the class room. I taught Megha today and she's such a doll! I gave her addition problems and she had to figure out one problem than the other problem than write down was it greater than, less than or equal ( >, <, =). It was a good lesson for her. We also worked on words that rhymed.

Well, I think this will be my last blog for a week and a half. I'm traveling to Darjeling for 3 days, Varinasi for 3, and to Prui for 2 days. So I won't be able to blog for awhile. It's my week out of the 2 months of relaxing, so pray for my safe travels and I'll inform you all about it when I get back! Take care and God bless!

Morning volunteer mass

2007-07-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

Oh today mass was amazing! I had to get up extremely early. 4 something am, and it truly was hard but well worth it. I rushed and tuned my guitar and as soon as I got into the chapel I started playing the entrance song. AHHHH it was amazing! Everyone was singing Blessed be the Name of the Lord! The same words spoken by Job, where all is taken away and all is given to him. The lyrics; You give and take away (x3). Spoke volumes today as I realize that all was taken from me as I left my comfort of the states, my beloved, my family, friends, home, and luxury but Christ never abandoned me rather he gave. And he gave ABUNDANTLY. Lord God, you give and take away. Our lord asks nothing of us besides everything. He doesnt' ask that we give him more than we can, more than possible but he asks us to give Him our everything. Every praise, offering, sadness, joy, comfort, love, and our life. He asks us to be so intimately united with him that whether our vocation is holy order, relgious, or marriage that all belongs to Him and we glorify Him in everything. Lord we give you are all and all, and trust all in your hands that you will provide us all we need and in that we praise you, Blessed be the Name of the Lord! Today's reading was about the women at the well who thrist and asks for water from the well, but the Lord offers us living water in which we will never thirst again. Something beyond earthly things... why grasp to worldly things that will only quench our thirst temporarily while our God offers us a love that will satitate our thirst for eternity. Our thirst will not only be quenched but with the love of Christ it overflows to those around us. In the silences we find our Lord, in our abandonment we find our Savior, in our despair we are united to the passion and Joy of our Lord, and in dying to self we will rise to eternal life with Him. The Alleluia sung today at mass was SOOOO Beautiful! I was so proud of everyone! I was in awe myself. Everyone sounds like ANGELS! The celebration of the Eucharist, mass, was beautiful overall. There was about 7 or so priest, one deacon and four altar servers. On the left side of the altar there were over 100 novist and in front there was about 40 MC sisters and to the right side of the altar over 200 volunteers sat and celebrated mass. It was so pure and holy. It was quite the sight. I loved it!
After mass we had breakfast in the courtyard. The Sisters had a special breakfast for us, we had bread with jam and butter, a bananan, hard boiled eggs and chai tea! It was fun just hanging out and than the Madrid band came and played for us! It was so much fun! Everyone was clapping there were people salsa dancing! Everyone was having a great time!

Tonight is giong to be even greater. We're seeing all the skits all the volunteers prepared over the last few weeks and watching a Mother Teresa video. I'll blog about it if I have time tonight.

At Mothers Tomb

2007-07-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

I had to get a couple things together this morning so I wasn't able to make it to Daya Dan. But thank you all for all the help with getting the lyrics for "I am the Bread of Life" to me! It really saved my butt! It's greatly appreciated! This afternoon I got a haircut, first time in India. I was looking for one of the barber on the streets but couldn't find him today... actually i haven't seen him all week. So I went into a shop instead. I got a clean shave with a single switch blade. It was pretty sweet.
I spent a lot of time rehershing for prayer tonight at Mother's tomb today. When the time came around and I showed up at Mother's tomb there was a chair reserved for me, which made me feel happy. The room was packed with volunteers and a corner filled with MC sisters and along the side of the room the MC sisters sat. We sat with Mother and faced a shrine of the image of Christ illuminated with candles. It was such a beautiful prayer session! Briana recorded it all on video and honestly I couldn't have been any prouder of the choral group! They sounded like angels! There were some songs where they hesitated to come in at the right time but I extended the chord and started singing myself to give them the support to sing. It was sooooo amazing! Words can't truly explain it! Everyone was able to meditate, praise and sing! The gospels were being read in every language and I couldn't feel any more universal than listening to the same gospel in every language. I THIRST was the theme and we read about the passion of Christ when he hung on the cross and cried out I thirst. Our soul are always thirsting for something more but Christ's sacred heart thirsts for our souls! He cries out I thirst, on the cross and thirsts for our love, and for our love towards each other. The thirst that's far harder to be quenched is what Christ challenges us to as he was hung there as the true source of the living life. As Our Lord and savior thirst, He gives himself fully to us. He makes present the new Eden, on the Hill of Calvary, and give us the new tree of life, the one he hangs from from which he is the source of life. I thirst. I can not take any glory or compliments without the thanks and offering it back up to Christ. The music was beautiful, I can not deny but it was all for the glory of christ and it was his work through me that I was able to become a channel for him to use me. After the gospel I played "I am, the Bread of Life" By John Michael Talbot. It is one of my favorites song and was praying that I was able to find the lyrics to. I never found the music but I remembered it well enough to make up. The sisters mic me up and had me do it solo as a reflectional song. I said a quick prayer and begin to play... there were no butterflies, no worries, and no nervousness. I truly believe it was because it was not my song that I was offering to Christ and to those to listen and meditate but it was a song God has chose for the moment and he was playing it to me, and to the people in the room. The blessed my voice tonight because many came up afterwards and thanked me and told me they were brought to chills, tears, and awe by the song and my voice. This is something not of my own I realize, and all of God's. I can not do anything for Christ without him giving me the grace to do so. The same went for tonight, God's graced provided the means for the lyrics, the chords, and the vocals. I am so thankful that I was only able to be a small part in his plan and the graditude and thank is all to our Lord and the help of the MC sisters. I'm so excited that sister gave me permission to video record this service. The MC sisters are honestly amazing! They're hooking me up with all the sweet deals! Actually, yesterday when I was practice music, one of the MC sisters called me out and brought me into the room with all the MC sister at Mother House and had me take a picture and asked if I wanted a picture with them! ...... UGGHHH.......DUH! Of course I would! It's probably going to be the best picture I'll own in my life, So I'll be sure to try to get a hold of it because they said they'll have someone email it to me. I'm excited! I really am hoping that Sr. Karina talks to the Sister in charge at Shishu Bahavan so I came have permission to come visit, because it's an all girls volunteer site but it's a site I really want to come see and send a special delivery to the school and one of the students. Today one of the kids at Shishu Bahavan got adopted, so that's extremely exciting and also there were some band from Madrid that came by and played so all the children were dancing. I only know this through Briana and the other volunteers but that brings such joy to my heart knowing that these beautiful children are getting adopted. I swore I've heard of 3 adoption within this week already! So that's really exciting. I just wish one of my beautiful kids at Daya Dan were adopted and I would be able to be a witness to a part of that joyful moment in their life.
Oh, God is great! All the time! truly truly. Well tomorrow I need to be up by 4 and at Mother house by 5:30am or so... It's the annual volunteer day tomorrow and I'm playing music for mass. Plus doing a skit later in the evening and playing a song I wrote called "Give till it Hurts". Continue to keep us in your prayers. I'm starting my travels next friday and will be traveling India for a week and a couple of days. So I'm not sure if I'll be able to blog then but continue the prayers and we'll keep in touch that way. God bless.

Overwhelmed

2007-07-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry there was no blog post yetserday. I was really caught up with a lot of things. So i didnt get a chance to blog last night. yesterday, was a frist morning back from Daya Dan in while. I was teaching mongol yesterday and I knew he knew a lot of his times table from 1-7, Mongol usually repeats his times table over and over and has been working on it for the past few months. So yesterday I thought I'd challenge him a little and teach him something new. So I taught him his 9s table, 10s table, and 11s table which are all fairly easy. There's a trick to learn your nines table which i was taught when I was younger that made it one of my favorites mulitiplication table to do. You put out your hands and for an example if it was 3x9 than you count three fingers over put that finger down and you only have 2 fingers on the right side of that and 7 on the other side... which means 3x9=27! Anyways I taught Mongol that and he freak'n loved it! It was so exciting for him. He looked at me and was like... you're the best teacher ever! I learn things so quick from you, while other teachers explain too much! hahaha! In all honesty I just taught him simple times table... 10s, 11s.... not hard at all. But it was nice that he praised me anyways. I was extremely proud of him because now he knows all his times table from 1-11, all he has to learn is 8x8 and he knows it all. I don't know why they never taught him his 9s,10s, and 11s earlier. But he was excited for learning something new. We also did geography yesterday. I drew on the whiteboard the world and numbered countries and oceans and had him tell me what the countries and oceans were. He learned 16 spots yesterday! It was exciting, of course vietnam being one of them. haha. Choir practice was in the afternoon yesterday and I brought my video camera and got it recorded. It was extremely stressful and not as fruitful as I wished. Everyone had an input on an appropriate tempo and it didnt help, especially with all the music we had to get through before wednesday. Last night I figured, it's been a crazy day... let's go out for a treat. So Briana, Caitlin and I went to MCDONALDS! believe or not there's one here! And it's sooooo nice! Air conditioned and really high class. We sat in there as long as we could because it seriously felt the closest to home that we've been to for a while. It was amazing! I had some crazy Chicken Maharaja Burger. Which was the closest thing they got to a big mac. I was suprised I was able to eat last night... not only was I able to eat I ate that burger, two fries and a coke. After not being able to eat for about 4 days! By they way,... I lost a lot of weight during those four days. it's scary. Everyone here notice it, the resturant manager, the MC sisters, my friends... they're like WHOA. But i'll gain it back. My appiteite is slowly coming back. Well this morning was another day at Daya Dan. I taught Nisha today and she's always a handful. She would always run around the class room and loose focus so easily. BUT... today I brought some washable crayons (thanks to Ryan), and they're able to write on walls and wash off! So I did my lesson plan on the wall today! All the kids in the class room was jealous of Nisha and wanted to work with me today because we got to draw on the walls. I drew out images and made her find the color I asked for in the crayon box to color in the image, than I drew shapes. She has no problem with drawing squares and circles but she can't draw triangles! She always draw a square when I ask for a triangle so we spent a lot of time on that. Counting the sides over and over and trying to find things that are triangle for examples. Than I drew on one side shapes and on the other side shapes all scrabbled up so it's not directly across from the matching shape and she had to draw a line to the matching shapes. I think she really enjoyed that and everyone was suprised that she did it without mistakes because before when we did this on paper she couldnt do it. It must be something about drawing on walls! I had her practice writing her name and Nisha always wrote her S backwards so we specifically worked a while on how to write an S. Afterwards I went downstairs and helped with children music time. While all that was going on the microphone keep cutting out. The anetana to the cordless microphone receiver broke so now the microphone isn't working. If anyone have an old microphone, that plugs into "a microphone input?" haha, and want to donate it please try to get that to Corina Jones before she leaves to Kolkata! It's greatly needed. Because we use the microphone for mass also and ... kind of need it. Well, after awhlie trying to work out the technology- we just went without. I taught the kids, Shut the Door keep out the devil. And everyone really enjoyed it. It was fun, always always.
This afternoon I arrived early at choir practice to teach a spainar how to play the songs that we were doing to Taize and mass so he can play along with me. We practiced an hour and a half before choir practice and by the time everyone came the music was finally coming together. Choir practice was really great! We went through all the music for Taize and mass part! Sr. Johanna Ark came and help teach the harmony and she wrote the song that was dedicated to Mother and taught it to us. It's so beautiful! I wish everyone could hear us! I'm really proud of the group and how full and beautiful it sounds! it's so pure and AWWWWWWWWE! i love it!

Well, I really need to get going. I need to run a couple of copies for the Sisters and find some music which I'm extremely worried about because I can't find it on the internet! I had it in my blue adoration music book but... I think I left that with Lauren Irish or at the Newman Center. I'm looking for the song; I am The bread of Life! Not the version by Suzanne Toolan. But the lyrics goes... I am, the bread of life,... all who eat this bread... shall never die. I am, Gods love revealed, I am broken... that you might be healed! SO IF ANYONE has the lyrics or music for that! PLEASE email it to me! I need it pronto! I'm singing it solo tomorrow (which means tuesday tonight for those in states) for a prayer around Mother's Tomb with all the volunteers and MC sisters and I'm PRAYING that St. Anthony comes to my intercession so I can find the music to it or remember it. So if you can get it to me if you have it... I'll really really appreciate it! Alright, Take care and God bless! I'll try to keep you posted as much as I can. I've just been so extremely busy on top of being sick a couple days ago, but i really appreciate all the prayers! God bless and may we all be united through the Immaculate Heart of Mary to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Anyways, God bless you!

Im back

2007-07-22T07:06:00.000-07:00

So we took the metro today to Daya Dan after I blogged this morning. It was briana's first time taking the metro here. When we showed up at Daya Dan there were ALL new volunteers upstairs! Sr. Capita, like always, asked where was I and counted the days I was missing. She said once again, she wanted me to meet MC priest. Im pretty sure that I've met the MC priest that she's talking about because he celebrates mass at Mother House almost everyday, if not every other. Sr. Christalata was also happy to see me back which really made me feel better. OH.... by the way, I ate a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup this morning. I didn't really eat the tamato soup because I don't tomato all too much but I dipped my sandwich into it. The soup was EXTREMELY sweet to be tomato soup also. Well the point is, I ate solid food today and havent felt like vomit yet! so it's a major improvement and i'm extremely happy. Well, back to Daya Dan.... Sr. Capita and the Masis put me to work making sure I help all the volunteers know what their doing. There was a HUGE group of Koreans that were came that day and was standing around not sure what to do. I got a lot of smiles from the Masis and Sisters because they were glad I was able to speak english better than they can and explain to the volunteers what to do, plus they're busy anyways.
When the kids got changed they were brought out to the center meeting area to wait before their meal is ready. It's so great because being here for a little while I've picked up the characteristics of many of the child. In ways they communicate although it isn't verbally. There is a child that can clap and loves to. Every time I walk by her she always follow me with her eyes and I pretend I don't notice but then I turn and make a suprised-I-caught-you face at her, with a laugh and smile and she laughs hysterically. I always try to get her to clap and when she does she just laughs and gets so joyful. It's truly beautiful. I can never remember her name so I must get on that. But She also love putting her hands on your cheek, it's her way to say "I love you" and I do the same to her and she smiles! We both had our hands outstretched holding each others face and I just smiled and laugh and so did she. It was beautiful. The room was pretty quite too so it really did brighten up the room. There's a child that likes to hold your hands and dance, I always love dancing with her. She doesn't like being spun but she likes dancing back and forth. Her way to say I love you is putting cheek to cheek, from side to side. She's precious also. All children truly are. Megha today asked for me to help her with everything! Uncle this, uncle that. Tu-an... can you help. Megha is one of my students that's in a wheelchair and extremely skinny, but very smart. She got bubbles today and wanted me to do bubbles with her and get this and that for her. For me it brings me so much joy to come back and feel so welcomed. It's welcoming that the children recognize me, that the masis are happy to see me, and that the Sisters there missed me. I absolutely love Daya Dan. Today I fed Angeli and honesty for the size that girl is and the plate that I had to feed her, I thought we were never going to finish. Her meal was bigger than Briana's or Caitlin's lunch today. To my suprised I finished feeding her within 15 minutes. WAY sooner than all the other children. I've never see her eat so much. It made me so happy. It was also great because I was able to help out with other chores. Changing Bashker, helping the other volunteer feed, changing the beds, and just visiting with the children.
When we left it was 5:30, we rushed back... on the metro, pass sudder and hussled over to mass at St. Mary. It was my first time at St. Mary's. It was so weird seeing a real church in India. There were pews and an altar. Icons, paintings on the wall of the life of Jesus, Saints and our Blessed Mother's statue. It was very nice to feel so at home. Caitlin and I both agreed that we must come back sometime for daily mass there, whether its in bangali or english.

Well keep us in your prayers. Pray for Briana, she has ashma (however that's spelled) and wasn't doing so well with the pollution here today. Thanks thanks. God bless.

Sharing the Joy of Suffering with Christ

2007-07-21T10:47:00.000-07:00

Sorry I missed another day of blogging, I was still in and out of stomach problems but you got to hear my amazing story!

Yesterday, when I woke up I thought I was feeling amazing! So I hurried the girls up and out of Hotel Maria to make it in time for mass. As soon as I arrived my stomach had other plans for me. I sat down and when I stood up for the entrance my stomach was gruggling and I ran to the bathroom feeling as if I was going to vomit. When I got to the volunteers room it was locked because it doesn't open for breakfast till around 7 and it's also a good way to encourage those that come a little early to go upstairs for mass,... but it wasn't working in my favor. I saw Sr. Melrose and she figured I needed to go to the bathroom because i was holding my stomach, so she brought me to a private room and I got to use the Sister's bathrooms! I felt special... but when I was finally in the bathroom, i felt fine.... frustrated that all that hasseling and leaving mass and finally in front of the bathroom and feeling perfectly fine. Well I went back upstairs to the chapel and sat outside and listened in on mass. Once again when I stood up my I felt like vomitting so I ran to the bathroom and this time I did what I had to do. I felt a thousand times better afterwards. But my stomach was still killing me everytime I stood up. After mass I went to the volunteers room and I honestly feel as if I finally am settled because I have so many volunteers asking me if I'm feeling alright and MC sisters checking up on me. Sr. Karina was hoping and asking if I would come at 3 to help lead taize and then 4:30 till 6 to lead choir practice. She soon realized I was feeling horrible and told me today I will stay at home and not go to Daya Dan. She told me wait till all the volunteers leave and she will get me a Doctor (one of the MC sisters is a doctor). After everyone left Sr. Karina was finding Sr. Michael (the doctor) and while I waited they were mopping the volunteers room. Sr. Druscilla was filling up the buckets or water and soap and getting the towels out and here I was sitting all lazy. So I got up and reached towards the towel. "You, sit!" Sr. Druscilla told me. Hahaha. I looked at her stubornly. I wasn't going to sit and watch her on her hands and knees mopping the floor while I'm lazy in the corner. So I grabbed for the towel and soaked it in soap water and began to mop. She came over and tugged at the towel from me with a smirk. "You are sick, today you rest.. you can come mop all next week" I told her... "I was good enough to walk to Mother House, I'm good enough to mop, plus when I'm croached over my stomach feels find. We were laughing and she was pulling at my towel trying to stop me and I was tugging back. It was a funny tug-a-war with lots of laughter and smiles. She gave up and let me mop for half a second and asked a different volunteer to take the towel from me. My friend Gemma came over and snuck up behind me and snatched the towel away from me. "Sorry, Sister's order" she said. I looked over at Sr. Druscilla and she just smiled with a smirk. I then got called by Sr. Karina to go see Dr. Sr. Michael and they took me into a private room at the Mother House where all the sisters eat their meals (which i was excited about because I was always curious what was behind there) and Sr. Micahel asked about all sorts of things. From what I ate, I'm able to eat, if I had diaherra, vomitting, and a lot of other stuff. She then subscribed me to A LOT OF MEDS! I need to take 5 different meds a day, some a couple times a day! The good thing is that it's not thypoid or malaria, it's just food problem. When Sr. Karina and Sr. Michael went to get the meds I sat in the room and was able to meditate upon a divine mercy image and do a chaplet in time before they get back. I've been praying something specifically since I've been here and when Sr. Karina came back the words that came out of her mouth blew my mind. I was in awe, and it brought me much comfort and consolations to my prayers. It something I choose not to share but it deffinately was an answer prayer for me. Before leaving the room I looked at all my meds and looked over at Sr. Karina and told her "Do I have to take these meds. I think as human we rely so much on meds. Can't I share in the joy of suffering with the passion of Chirst". Sr Karina said to me, "You must take the meds. I don't want to hear your philosophy". It was freak'n halrious and I just cracked up laughing. She told me she thinks just like me because she's been sick for a while and said the same thing and Sr. Michael made her take the meds. She told me "There are ways God grants you the Joy of Suffering. There are extraordinary ways and ordinary ways. In my case, it is an ordinary way because God also created the mind and the medicine to cure this and I must take it to get better, and the extraoridanry way if someone develope cancer that can't be cured God will grant them the grace to experience the joy although they suffer." She than popped out the pills I needed to take for the morning and mixed the powered whatever with water and made me drink and take them in front of her. hahaha seriously... it's great. It makes me smile.
I visited Mother's Tomb afterwards and on my way out a Carmalite priest stopped me and introduced himself (Fr. Marcel) and asked for my name. It was so neat seeing him in his brown robe or whatever you call it. It's just so amazing seeing all these different religious and holy order here in India. I've already met a Franciscan in his Blueish grey robe, and a St. James Brother in his robe and also a Loretto sister in her Habit, it's just SOOOO Beautiful! I wish I saw more religious and holy order men and women in the states walking the streets in their habits and vestments. Anyways, He was excited to see that I was wearing a brown scapular. He told me mine has been well worn (by the way: my brown scapular I wear on at all times and never take it off, only when it breaks... I shower with it on so after some time the words and image on it becomes worned off ) but he told me, "I want to give you a blessing and this week I'll try to bring you a new and better scapular." I was so excited and it was truly comforting and humbling. It will be amazing if he remembers to bring one for me but I'm not banking off it, i'm sure he's pretty busy.
When I finally got back to my hotel, the first thing I wanted to do was call Sara... while i was still able to sit up still. And of course it was really comforting to hear her voice and talk. Afterwards i went back to my room (around 12) and just laid low. Caitlin brought me toast for lunch and Brianna came back from her first day volunteering at Shishu Bahavan. By the way...Brianna LOVES it! She's really excited. But I slept from 12pm till 8:30 pm! And woke up here and there to take my meds. I had to take a C.R.S. packet that Sister gave me... ugh, it tastes like crap. Around 6pm, Dona, Carlan, and Mary (the irish gals) stopped by my room to see how I was doing, and it really made me feel happy because I was getting visitors while I was SICK! It was really thoughtful. At the time I still couldn't sit up and I felt horrible everytime I did. After they left I fell back to sleep sometime in between the time the left and 8:30 I ate an orange for dinner (not the best idea). Keep in mind all I had during the day was a banana from the mother house for breakfast, I only finished one piece of toast that caitlin brought me for lunch, and now the orange. Well, I awoke at 8:30 because Briana and Caitlin were going out to dinner and I tried to sit up but it wasn't working for me. Everytime I did... i felt like vomitting again. So they left without me and I just felt so lazy laying in bed all day so I sat up and ...... when I did the feeling came back and I ran to the bathroom and sadly vomitted again (second time that day.... 3rd time since I've been in India). It's gross and whatnot but honestly, it was the best thing that happened to me. I had fully engergy again and was able to stand without feeling like crap, and so I cease the opportunity to get work done. I had a pile of dirty laundry that haven't been washed for over a week and a half and was wearing the same pair of clothes since I've been sick (3+ days). As I was filling up the bucket of water (oh yeah, i did laundry in the bathroom because I was too lazy to go upstairs on the roof) but as I was filling up the bucket the hotel manager knocked on my door. I came out and he said... your sister is on the phone. WHAT?!?!?!?! My SISTER? I was blown away. I didn't know how she knew I was sick or to even get my number at Hotel Maria! I got on the phone and started talking and it didn't sound like any of my sister, but it sounded alot like my Aunt Ann. Anyways.... It actually was Sr. Karina calling to check up on me! How amazing is that! I felt SOOOO loved! Minutes after vomitting, and hours of feeling like crap. Finally when I'm able to get out of bed I got a phone call from Sister. She said she's been praying all day, and missed me at Taize practice and Choir practic. She was happy to hear I slept alot and I told her I prayed a rosary for her around 3 for Taize and Choir practice. She told me although we didn't have a guitar player, the Korean priest came down and helped with Taize practice and taught the harmony and they practiced accapella. And then for choir practice Sr. Karina lead as much as she could for the mass part accapella. Get this....... this will make you smile Michael G. But she sent a Sister from Shishu Bahavan that had a CD over there and Cd Player that had the song, blessed be your name. Sr. Karina said she realized the recording of Blessed Be Your Name was a recording from MICHAEL G!!!!!! How exciting is that! She said it made her think of you/me because I knew you and smiled and wanted to tell me that ... so I'm relaying the message back to you (M.G.). I sat and talked on the phone with Sr. Karina for a bit and she asked about a couple other things. She told me I shouldn't eat solid food for a day since nothing is settling with me right now, and drink plenty of fluids. I told her I feel lazy because I know I can do a lot of work if it was only the stomach pain but its the fact that I feel like vomitting when I stand up that kills me and make me not be able to do anything. Sr. Karina than told me, "Remember when you told me you want to share in the joy of suffering. This is your suffering, because you want to serve and be at Daya Dan and it is great suffering that all you can do is lay and rest, so offer it to go and share the joy of suffering as you rest." It was funny, cute, and made me smile. When I got off the phone I went back to my room .... and did ALL my laundry (totally against sisters order) but it was the one time I felt good enough to do anything so I took advantage of it......and than RESTED! Although I didn't sleep much at all last night because my whole sleeping schedule was thrown off by sleeping during the day... I finally fell as sleep at 4:30 not long after the birds, and the sound of the Mosse (I don't know how you spell it; the call for prayer... maybe it's Muslim, its horrible because I took a class on the culture of India right before I left and I forgot everything already). well.....i slept in this morning and woke up briefly when Briana and Caitlin got up for work, I encouraged them to go to Kalighat although they weren't assigned there but I knew there was mass there at 10:30 and I was able to help out when I randomly came without a slip so I told them give it a shot but they might get sent back. I told them look for my friend Zach at breakfast and follow him because he'll be going to Kalighat. Well, they returned at 9:30 and told me they were asked for the slip so there weren't able to work but they were excited that they were able to see Kalighat. We're all going to Daya Dan this afternoon for afternoon slip. I probably can talk Sr. Christalata to have Briana work there for a day and see the place and although Caitlin I don't have slips for the afternoon.... they've seen us there enough. We're going to mass at St. Mary's tonight at 6:30! To see this catherderal in India, I hear it's just absolutley beauitful on the inside, so I'm excited.
Well, I thought I'd blog so I don't freak everyone out about what's going on... continue to keep me in your prayers. I'm feeling better today but...... I also was feeling better last friday then something just hit me. So it's the stomach... please pray. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I send you may blessings and prayers with you also!

A fever from Hell

2007-07-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm sure everyone was supprised that I didn't blog yesterday. Especially since I was doing sooo well on blogging everyday and not missing a day! But yesterday was a diaster!
Frist off... Everything did go well with picking Briana up from airport. Although Caitlin and I were completely exhausted because we woke up at 5 that morning for mass and didn't get back to the airport till pass midnight. Well, Briana came at perfect timing because it was pouring rain when she arrived. Lightening storms that lit up the sky and so the humidity wasn't so hard to bare for her first time in India. Although she said the first thing she noticed was the humidity... while here caitlin and I were sitting SOOO happy about how cool it was. haha. It's funny, because you really do become adjusted to the climate here. It's not as bad as it sounds. The temperture is usually in the upper 90's but it doesn't feel hot, it just feels extremely STICKY. For an example, you step out of the shower all nice and clean, and towel yourself down.... but you realize that you're still a little damped. Sooner later you realize it's not because you didn't dry yourself off well from your shower but rather because it's just really humid here and it's one of two things... your sweat or the condensation of the humidity.
Well when we got back to the hotel room, we ran into a few more encounters of cockroaches. Caitlin and I are getting more and more use to it now, remember back to our first encounter and how we had the funniest episode on how to kill it (you'll have to ask me to see the video of our first time trying to kill the cockroach, it's halrious) but now the extermination is a lot swift and quick. Anyways, when we got back to the hotel mine and caitlin's stomach was very unhappy! We woke up numberous times that night running to the bathroom. It's kind of ironic too because I remember telling caitlin during the day.... that she reached her week and half mark, which means that she's bound to have diaherra soon or get sick and surely enough. Well the next morning after a horrible upset stomach Caitlin woke up with a fever of 102.5 or something like so. When she first told me her temperature I thought she told me 105.2 and so Iwas freaking out all morning. I went to get her ice a resturant down the street and every hour I went to a different resturant asking for ice so her fever would go down. Honestly I was terrified! 105.2 is horrible! That's almost brain damaging! Typhoid is around 104.. something, and brain damage is 107. So when I thought she told me 105, I was thinking... give it an hour or so of ice and if it doesn't go down, we're rushing her to the hospital. Although Caitlin was walking around fine and making her phone calls fine, I just couldn't fathom 105 ' . I kept telling her, the fever will pass within a day or two, and you'll probably have bad diaherra for ... a week. I asked and checked to see if she got any bug bites but it was clear free. It's always right when there's a weather change that everyone gets sick. Because of how polutted the air is when it rains the first day or so it's just raining down all the crap onto you and you really have to keep your hair covered to not get sick and although we only walked from the taxi to the airport in the rain, that did the job to give us the fever. I also think the veg wrap we got for dinner before we picked up Briana gave us stomach problems because hours after eating it both of our stomach weren't feeling well. Anyways, I'm glad I was alright in the morning to be able to run around and get caitlin ice and bring her soup for lunch because right after lunch my fever kicked in. It hit 104.3' and I was miserable! I stomach was horrible and I had one of the worst fever i ever had in my life. Although it was as high as it was, i didn't think it was something to worry about yet unless if it didn't pass in a day or so. So I waited it off. I didn't have anything for dinner and laid in bed for the rest of the day. I felt so bad, because i wanted to be able to take care of caitlin because she was also sick and then I also wanted to show Briana around town because it was her first real day in Kolkata but I was a diaster! My head was extremely hot and although it was pretty cool outside for Kolkata (88') I was shivering cold and wanted to blanket up. I knew I shouldn't cover myself in blankets so I battled the shivers for hours and reminded caitlin that she shouldn't put covers over her otherwise her fever wouldn't lower. We took some IB profen and had a wet rag on our head here and there. When night came Caitlin's fever had pass and only her stomach was bothering her. As for me... it was still horrible. I don't know if anyone have seen me sick before, i know my parents and Sara have been there when I had a high fever but when I get sick.... I moan. hahah. Don't ask me why but I just do. I don't even do it conciously but it freaks the crap out of everyone that's around me and I did it all night last night. Caitlin kept getting up and checking on me and asking me if I want to go to the hospital. It's rather funny because I know it's just something I do and I can't really control it. I do it while I'm sleeping when I'm sick. "AHHHHHh OHHH AAWWWW" All night long. Caitlin said numberous times while I was moaning I threw in the words "THIS SUCKS... OAHHHA" hahaha which makes me laugh. I got up a couple times that night because of my stomach and I actually vomitted once last night but as bad as that sounds... it was the best thing that happend for me. Right after I did, I felt a thousand times better! Everything just cleared up, my fever went down and my stomach didn't feel as bad. It still feels like crap but it's so much better than what it was before. I had some toast this morning, bananan pancake for lunch and honey,bananan,cinnamon toast for dinner. It's getting better. I also picked up some meds for Caitlin and I at the pharmacy today for our stomach. I was determined to get better before 3 today because I wanted to walk Briana to the Mother House for her Orientation and also there was choir practice today at 4:30 and I couldn't let down the sisters and not show up. I'm the only one who teaches the songs to the volunteers and also am the only one who plays the guitar, or know the songs well enough to play the songs. So I was trying to get better before 3pm and a rosary or two did the trick. It's always such a great feeling being at the Mother House. It's just wide open and not all clustered and it's so clean! It's great! I always forget what the first time feeling is like but Briana reminded me again just as Caitlin did... it's a surreal feeling being here in Kolkata, India and then when you step into the Mother House its just this peaceful calming feeling. It's so comforting and you just feel so much love! It's such an amazing feeling! I got to say a rosary in front of Mother's Tomb and spend some time in prayers while Briana was at Orientation. Briana got assigned SHISHU BAHAVAN!!! Which I'm so excited for her and she's even more excited! Choir practice went well today I had to lead the first half of practice on my own because the sisters were still doing some orientational stuff. We went through more mass parts, ran through Blessed be your name again because there were new volunteers who showed up for practice, and than ran through As a deer and a song that was written by one of the sisters here at the Mother house that was dedicated to Mother Teresa, which will be our exit (send forth) song for mass next thursday. I'm really excited because there was a really big turn out for choir practice about 40+ volunteers and the songs are coming along VERY WELL! It's really rewarding to see the fruits of your work... although nothing is by my own will but by the grace of God that things can run as fluidly as they do. Anyways, today is a better day... I going to head back to the hotel and pray that i get a good night sleep because the goal is to be able to wake up at 5am for morning mass and get to work at Daya Dan. Well keep us in your prayers and especially for our health! Take care and God bless

Reflect

2007-07-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

There's nothing more exciting in my life than the joy I recieve from the Lord each day. So today's blog will be a reflection on the love and passion of Christ for us. Last night I was enlightened and filled with the love of Christ as I meditated on the life of our Lord, in front of the blessed sacrament in Adoration. The past few days, Caitlin and I have been lazy to get wake up early enough to make it to 6am mass at Mother House, and last night while praying in adoration God's love poured out abundantly upon me. It's nothing less or more than the love God's constantly has offered but my willingness to recieve and open my heart to the true presences of our Lord was different last night.
We prayed the Liturgy of the Hour, evening prayers with the Sisters and afterwards I had time to meditate up the life of Christ through the rosary. When I finished my mind began to spiral deeper and deeper into the Love of our Lord. I was thinking, in the old testement everyone believed, and didn't really question God's presences in the burning bush before Moses and many christians/jews still believe the truth of that passage, christians/jews believe in God speaking through the clouds (the voice of God) giving the commandments. We didn't have trouble believing this. I began to think... how, incredibly humble is our Beloved Lord, Jesus. God... the all powerful, omnipetient that created all things that are being now. Came now to be made creature-like; to become HUMAN! I couldn't grasp that for the longest time as I meditated upon the Eucharist. I couldn't think how that could compare to anything we possibly can imagine, it's like us creating an image, a painting, and choose to become made so lowly that what we are already (human) and rather become our creation (a painting). I couldn't fathom it. But yet our Lord, God didn't choose just to become any human... he choose to become a SERVANT of the world. To be amongst those of the poorest of the poor! He choose to be born in a mager, with straw beddings. Not a palace, house , not even a hostel or hotel. Our Beloved Savior choose to be amogst those that are most blessed, those of the poor. How many times have we heard in the gospel; to give to the poor? To be a servant? To LOVE!!!? Constantly Christ gives us the direction to serve and love those of the poor, through our love we show to those in need... His love will be given as a reward, filling our life with Joy. We will be judge on our love and never upon what we posses. We will be judged on how we love and who we love. Is it only those that love us that we return our love? What shall we ever gain if so? We're called towards a higher love and creature love, a love that demands nothing but an ourpouring of our self! A complete selfish love to our enemies, to families, neighbors and strangers among the poor. Today's Mother Teresa quote is "Intense Love does not measure, it just gives!" How often do we try to count the cost of giving? How often do we expect something in return? True love gives, and gives, and gives... we can't begin to love if we can't give without expectations. Our Lord, Jesus comes to us fully human and fully divine. He comes not as a king of Worldly possesions but a King of Love, a king of virtue, a king of the eternal kingdom that we all long for. Just TRY to imagine; Our Beloved Lord was being praised and glorified in the Heavens but CHOOSE to become human, to be among the poor, to be ridiculed, mocked, scurged, spit on, humiliated and crucified! By the same world He choose to come down upon. By the same world He created! By the same world, he came to show ULITMATE LOVE! And this is the reward he was given, by the world? Our sinfulness keeps us tied to worldly possesions. We seek to be praised, to be honored, to be loved, to be set above others in all the good we do. We (meaning I above all) lack the humility that God came to show the example for us to imitate. To love unselfishly. I continued to meditate upon this throughout adoration and it lead me to something profound. Although it's so unheard of, and so amazing that God would choose to become human... that's something almost all christians believe. But what do we here in the Gospel numberous times! In the old testement, it talks about the passover, and the sacrifice of the perfect lamb! It talks about the sacrifice and offering of Issac by Abraham. We are told Jesus is the fulfillment of the prophets, He FULFILLS the old testement. How is that God becomes the perfect lamb, and finish the sacrifice that Abraham was to offer? In the gospel of John, Jesus says NUMBEROUSLY "I am the bread of life!" Over and over, he tells us we must eat of this bread of life to have eternal life. Later on at the Last Supper he tells us again, This is my body given up for you as he took the bread and broke it... "do this in rememberance of me" He finishes the last cup of the passover as he hangs crucified on the cross and the guard gives him wine and vineger to drinks... then "it is consumated/It is finished" he gives himself totally to his bride, the CHURCH. I was profoundly strucked by the numberous times this initiation was done throughout the Bible. God tells us and gives us himself in the Eucharist. If we don't have the Eucharist apart of our lives now... his words in John "whoever eat of this will inherit eternal life" would be cut off for every generation after Christ's death. But no,... he leaves us his holy presences in the Eucharist. He takes form fully with all divinity in a, once again humbling form, of Bread and wine. As he did times before in the form of the voice in the cloud, as the burning bush, and as Human. Emmanuel (God with us), this phrase, this title of our Lord remains... God is STILL with us, and it BLEW MY MIND when I thought about it yesterday. You can ask Caitlin... because for an hour long I stared SMILING contagiously at the Eucharist. God is with us now and forever, through his insituation of the Eucharist. Just try to think about this... the same liturgy of the hour I was praying that evening is being prayed throughout the world! The same readings and gospel readings of the mass everyday that I hear is being said EXACTLY the same throughout the world. Same reading, that's insane! But here's the crazier part, that everytime a mass is being celebrated... heaven an Earth unites. It's not by the power of the priest for himself that transubstansiation occurs but rather by his offering of self to become a channel for Christ to work through him HEAVEN and EARTH is united. Think about this now... how many mass is being said every day, throughout the world! EVERY HOUR.... there's a mass being celebrated which means every moment of our life heaven and earth is united. Christ awaits us in the tabernacle throughout the world and God is with us, Emmanuel! I began to think ... right now is around 7pm my time and I'm adoring and praising God before the Eucharist, I started to think... "I know Fr. Jim and Fr. Qui Tac starts their morning with our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament" "They probably are in front of the blessed Sacrament either right now (6:30am) or not long after or before" I started thinking how often do Caitlin and I get to share the celebration of the Eucharist at Mass and in Adoration and how often we must be united with our love ones at home that may be celebrating our Lord at the exact time. The word catholic means universal and how more true has it become for me as I experienced the communion of the east and the west being tied through the Blessed Sacrament.
On my walk home with Caitlin she immediately asked me... "you have to tell me why are you so joyful, you were smiling the whole time in adoration". And seriously I was, my joy even brought tears to my eyes. As I told her she only confirmed the beauty of the presences and offering that the lord give us. We started thinking and felt bad how we get so lazy to sleep in and miss daily mass... but God still awaits us. Giving us endless opportunites. He gives us options of mass at a different time, but yet we still missed it... and finally adoration. And when we were before Him, God's love welcomed us fully... without reserve. Without disapointment of the time we were to lazy to get out of bed, and asks of us for only one hour to talk to Him, to thank, pray, and ask! How beautiful. How beautiful!

After last night, Caitlin and I made sure we got up this morning for mass! It was hard... but we did it. We got to mass and when I walked upstairs towards the chapel Sr. Karina stopped me and said... Can you go back there and get dressed up to altar serve. "Oh, buddy.... altar serve?" I thought to myself. I've done it numberous times in states but I've seen how they altar serve here and it's just SOOOO beautiful and reverant. I didn't think I was worthy enough to do so. I needed to talk to a priest before mass to get direction on what I'm suppose to do, I didn't want to mess up! Today mass was special... there was over 130 novist and SOOOOO many MC sisters! We had 5 male altar servers, I was the inscent barrier, and we had two priest to celebrate the mass. To my suprise the reading today talked about Moses and the burning bush and it immediately filled me with Joy! The priest gave one of the most AMAZING homilee! Everyone was in awe! I was on the verge of tears. He gave one of the most beautiful compliments to the MC sisters... telling them that they are the closest things he has seen on earth to Jesus, by their living example, by their congregational rules, lifestyle, words they speak and their actions, truly imitate Jesus. He challenged everyone in the chapel saying that this is where saints are made, we are all called to be missionaries of charity whether it's religious or not. Our life must be made to become a mission and the mission is to give, love, and serve! Their is one example of a Blessed women that opened her self so fully to the Love of Christ where she conceived in her heart and in her womb Christ's Love.... and how did she respond? She went with great haste! We too are suppose to go with haste when Christ's love is with us! We must put our love into action! Hurry, hurry, hurry... he said. There is much to be done.
After mass I joined the volunteers downstairs and as I was walking downstairs the Novist were in the courtyard... all 100+ novist and they began to sing. A MC sister's feast day was today and she turned 91!!! She was blessed to work alongside Mother and after the Novist sang to her she gave the most beautiful speech. Telling us that we are to always remain silent until God chooses to use us. She used the example... that Jesus, only does what the Father tells him... we to are suppose to only speak words of Love, and act as the Father tells us. Let everything we do only become a reflection of Christ to the world! Breakfast today was even special, we had Mango JAM for our bread, and coffee. usually it was only bananan, bread and chai, but today we got all that plus jam and coffee and biscuts! It was great... although I didn't get any breakfast because I waited till the end and it was all gone. I had a different excitement and joy! I recieved a letter from Sara this morning that was in the Missionaries of Charities mailbox! I couldn't stop smiling and was sooo anxious to read it but didn't until everybody left the volunteer room. And as soon as they did I rushed over to Mother's Tomb to read... and truly Sara, you really do make me smile and it brought SOOO much comfort! So thank you gal! I miss you. (side note: A special hi from Caitlin to Ricky, She wants you to know you're loved.... she thinks about you constantly and knows you read this blog every day, so Hi! Pray for us).
Well, after everyone left to their first session, I stayed behind. I spent some time at mother's tomb and read my letter, than I helped Sister mop the volunteer's room, and sister asked me specfically to stay behind today because she wanted me to help with music for volunteer day next thursday. While mopping the floor the Sisters were so funny to be with. They were messing around with Joseph (it was his last day and he's been here for MONTHS!) but they were telling him they're stealing him and won't let him go, then Sr. Karnia did some werid but halrious kungfu moves, then locked Joseph in between the big main garage door that all the volunteer goes out of in the morning, and a gate on the inside. She closed him in and locked him. She took some pictures and it was just absolutely halrious to see Sr. Druscilla and Sr. Karina laugh so much. Everyone in the room was laughing, which was only 5 other volunteer and joesph but it was just so joyful! When all the other volunteers left Sr. Druscilla and Sr. Karina and I went over music. We spent all morning going through music! It was so great to hear the Sisters sing with me! We went through many Taize music and then music for mass. Than I was able to play sister one of the song I wrote that was inspired by this mission trip called Give till it Hurts... and it talks about "I thirst" which the sisters just absolutely love and tried to tell me I need to play it for mass, although I told them it's too upbeat and contempary, than they told me I need to play it for volunteer day... and it's something I can't keep to myself. She said it's God's song... you must share! hahaha! So, we'll see what's up. But they truly enjoyed it which made me happy! Well, I have to head back to the mother house at 3:30 to help lead choir practice. I'm also need to catch lunch sometime and than afterwards dinner and pick BRIANNA UP at the airport tonight! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention... Caitlin and I are helping out with volunteer day (next thursday) and as you figured, I'm helping with mass music and taize and probably with music for the skit but I'm excited because Caitlin is doing artistic/poetic reading!!!! So that's exciting. We're meeting every day from now till next thursday the 26 of July. So it's great because it keeps us busy in the afternoon!

Well, for lunch Caitlin and I went over to New Market to Dominos Pizza... yes, it's kind of sad that we're here in Kolkata India but we're still going to Dominos but... seriously if you had Rice, Dal, and Roti or Nan everyday you'll switch it up at least one meal everyday and treat yourself! Trust me...you'd get bored although you say you won't. I had Rice, Dal or Curry all my first week thinking that this is amazing.... soon after, it just tastes the same and you want to switch things up! Anyways, we split a large pizza at Dominos and I wanted her to take give her name for the ticket stub this time since I was Mr Yuant last time I wanted to see if they'd get Caitlin right. When our receite came out ... Ms. Katen ordered a bbq chicken large pizza! hahaha.... Ms Katen! I love it! because now she can't just make fun of me for Mr Yuant... Ms Katen. I wonder what they'll call Brianna... we'll wait and see. It's a new game, cheap entertainment.... actually it's a price of a meal. Large pizza here is about... 4 dollars, which is more expensive than any other meal we order. ( side note: I'm sitting here next to Caitlin at the internet cafe and she just found out she got called for Jury Duty for the beginning of August, hahahaha.... I'm really sure she's very disapointed that'll she'll miss that, but I thought that was funny enough to share) Anyways back to the today. We had to get back to the Mother house by 4 because I was leading choir practice for Thursday's mass, Volunteer's day mass, which is apparently a big deal since Sr. Karina says it happens only once a year. Although i heard that before it was every month, but i guess they switched things up. Anyways, I have a friend Mamath, the rickshaw runner, and Caitlin and I always wanted to take a running rickshaw not nessesarily because we're lazy although that does play a big part, but after visit the village and hearing that the grandma with 2 children that are motherless and the Father is the only provider and he's a Rickshaw Driver/runner... i just realized that this is how they make a living. This is for some the ONLY source of Income. I think I'm more bothered by the beggers because they beg from everyday and don't try to improve their life while they have perfect english or are still in their prime, and when they recieve they're expecting it or as of today... the lady just grabbed my bottle and walked away. No thanks, no nothing.. even when I stop and go to a stand to buy some food and give it... there's not much thanks it's just a turn and walk away or a "is this it" face. I don't expect anything in return, I just want to know that I'm not making it worst for them and often I think that I am when I see how the don't care about what is given. On the other hand, the rickshaw driver begs for someone to use their service and when I came up to mamath today he had the biggest smile on his face! Even while he was running he was like... Oh you're such a good friend! usually a rickshaw to the mother house should cost about 40 Rps,... maybe 60 with 2 people but that's even generous. Well, Caitlin and I paid him 80 Rps and he had the greatest smile. It's was a fun ride, I felt weird and I really don't like taking a rickshaw like that because I always want to be in solidtary with the people or with the poor in India but it made me happy knowing that he was greatful and happy that I was using his service. I recorded it all on video! So you'll get to meet my friend mamath and also get to see the street that I walk every morning pass the slaughter house, trash pile, and muslim street, towards Mother House!
Choir practice today was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! i couldn't believe it! It was weird, I was leading the group for singing and creating harmonies for the songs. It was a little more challenging because I not only had to teach the notes, melodies, or harmonies to the volunteers but many of the volunteers where from different countries! France, Spain, Korea, Japan, ... etc. And several were challenged in the pernuctiation of certain words so I had to go through the lyrics. Today we only worked SOME of the mass parts. Our Entrance song for the mass is Blessed Be Your Name! And we spent over an hour practicing it. It sounds amazing!!! I was sooo proud of everyone. I just wish I could show everyone at home at how amazing the volunteers are! When we first started singing this song nobody even knew the melody and by the end of the hour they were singing with such great spirit! I'm in awe! I taught them other parts of the mass; Such as the Holy, holy, holy, Memorial Acclamation, Amen, and Lamb of God. IT sounds amazing! Anyways the Sisters are REALLY excited for the Holy Holy Holy. I think we're using the music from Mass of Creation... but I'm not sure if I'm right, but anyways... Sr. told me that throughout the whole time here they have only met one other person who could play the guitar part for that song and so they were sooo excited taht I could lead this for the mass. Also for the pass 2 years during Volunteer Day they've sang Lord I Lift Your Name on High for the entrance song and now they're really happy that they get to change it up and use Blessed be Your Name! I'm just really happy that I can be of help and use and that helping with Praise and Worship up in Bellingham and a little when I was at Life Teen is really paying off. Everything is just going stellar today! Truly we are all blessed! Through Christ we are made worthy and seriously it's nothing through our own powers or will do we do to deserve such grace and love but everything that God is makes it possible for us for us to recieve such love sooo abundantly! God calls out to us everyday and awaits us. In prayers, at the celebration of the Mass, in Adoration, and in service of charity to others He awaits to encounter our love for him and to give His love back to us. Make haste and go and spread the Love of Christ throughout the word! I love you all.

Comfortable in the classroom

2007-07-17T02:59:00.000-07:00

Oh, i wish everyone was here to see the craziest eposiode of COCKROACHES last night! It was truly insane! Caitlin walked into the bathroom and there was a fatty cockroach no less than 2 inches and a baby cockroach. She flipped... it was actually pretty funny. I made her suck it up and video record the whole scene while I killed it, which was a funny scene in and of itself. We were the most pathetic, incompetient two terminators ever! I caught it in a bucket and was going to drown it in water but it crawled straight out of the bucket! These things can crawl vertically! It's insane. than it smashed it with a piece of cardboard and started stomping on it but someone it escaped and was just hiding in the corner watching me just on a cardboard. It was pretty pathetic but sooo funny, because we were screaming in the bathroom everytime we would see it run across the bathroom floor. I killed the baby cockroach no problem, it was the mama cockroach that was freak'n grody. They run SOOOO FAST! it's incredible. Well, anyways if you want to be entertained and get a laugh be sure to remind me to show you a video of us killing the cockroach in the bathroom. When the job was finally finished i flushed the cockroach down the toliet and rinsed out the whole bathroom. While Caitlin was in the shower, i remember seeing something run across our bedroom floor seconds before she freaked out about the 2 cockroaches in the bathroom, so i had to check our room before she came out otherwise she'd freak out even more. Believe it or not, there was a huge cockroach under her bed... i recorded it myself as I killed it. I still haven't told her and I don't think it'd be fruitful to tell her anytime now when she's in India but i can't wait to show her the video of this cockroach. When we woke up this morning Caitlin told me she saw a baby cockroach that snuck through our door.... and sure enough there was one. We were too tired to care about anything and I just smacked it with my sandal and went back to bed. We both sort of forgot about it until we confirmed that it wasn't a dream and there was one this morning. Well, that was the excitment of last night.
Today I worked with Mongol and we worked mainly on words. I gave him 18 words in a word box and created him fill in the blanks and a crossword puzzle. He really enjoyed the cross word puzzle and he learned some new words he never unstood before. I also taught him how seasons were created and the concept of "degree". And he also learned what a valley is. I finally feel as if teaching is something I'm actually good at. Mongol really respected me and was really happy about what he was learning, and most of the teachers here don't try to change things up too much because they want the student to understand it and fully grasp it but, i don't want to change things either I just want to fully explain it and also challegne the student. It's also really hard for when i feel as if sometimes the teachers are teaching the students the wrong thing... I'm the only teacher that is speaking English. The other teachers are from France and Austria. There's no problem with that but they teach the kids to pernounce the words incorrectly and I would often have to correct them, which kind of worries me, about long term english teachers. Usually the teachers would point out something on the map ... the 7 continents and Mongol would have to name them, but on the map there are already the labels and Mongol can read pretty well. So I drew out the map on the whiteboard and taught him 16 countries and oceans; and labeled them 1 through 16. On his paper I numbered it 1- 16 and gave him a word box of all the 16 countries and oceans I have listed in no particular order and he is suppose to name the numbers. He really enjoyed the activites and we ran through it once but wasn't able to fully do the activity because when I finally finishing making the activity it was Music class time. Mongol didn't want to leave to music class, he wanted to stay and learn more about geography with me. It made me feel really happy. He was enjoying what he was learning and it was something new that he already was familarized with but still it was a bit more challenging.
Today I saw that Amel one of the french teacher was using my lesson for Nisha, the matching the color lesson, that was drawn out as a coloring page of a house and had labels of colors for each items that needed to be colored in. Nisha really enjoyed it and love trying to match the colors and she stayed within the lines! Amel complimented me on the idea of this rather than just filling in a circle with the matching color. It made me feel happy because all the activities were still the same activities as what the students had to do but it was more fun for them and they really enjoyed doing it and also it challenged them to do something beyond what they were doing before. I was really happy at the end of class and felt as if I was helping the students.
Music class was great like always, I don't know what to tell you about it that I haven't but it just really makes me happy to see all the kids so excited and so filled with joy. I wish i can video record music class one day. They're so beautiful. Well, it's boarding time for Caitlin and I to get going... we're going to make it over towards the Mother House and see what there is to be done... maybe catheism or maybe something else, either way we're staying for adoration! It'll be great. It feels like I haven't been to the Mother House in forever so it'll be nice to pray in front of Mother's Tomb and be in adoration again! Anyways, Brianna comes tomorrow night and ... we're all getting excited! YAY!

N.I.S.H.A

2007-07-16T04:44:00.000-07:00

Last night was wonderful. Early in the evening Caitlin was thinking a lot of home and of course I kind of got home sick too, missing love ones from home. So we went onto the roof of Hotel Maria and just talked, and it began to lightly rain! It felt amazing! Being here you never feel clean but when the rain comes... it feels so great! You don't feel sticky and your room is cooler! Caitlin and I were both talking... and something we truly need in our room is some glad plug in because it STINKS! that or a small fan because our room is hotter than outside and it sucks when we come home and walk into a warmer room! Anyways, Caitlin and I read the Sunday's reading again last night for some prayer time we did on the roof since we didn't understand it when it was said in Bangali at Nabo Jibon yesterday. The gospel reading spoke so directly towards us that day. It was about the good samaritans! Before reading, we said a prayer asking for God to direct us on our mission and truly the gospel yesterday reminded us why we were there. We also read 2 chapters out of The Immitation of Christ that really related to our situation and did the litany of Humility. It was a wonderful prayer session that we did on the roof of Hotel Maria and I really believe that we'll have more to come.
Afterwards, I went over to Hotel Paragon and introduced Caitlin to some friends and invited some people out to have dinner with us, and a group of 4 others came along and we sat in jojo's and talked about the craziness of kolkata. Which made Caitlin and I feel not so alone with feeling lost or homesick sometimes. Which I believe was reassuring for Caitlin to hear, that other volunteers felt stressed on the streets here or sad about their love ones. I'm excited because Brianna comes in two days and I'm sure Caitlin can relay how she felt the first week towards Brianna better than i can since now It's my fourth week or so. Which actually blows my mind. I really don't even know how long I've been here. It still feels like the first week but when I think of home it feels like it's been months since i've been here. So I try to look at things from just the schedule of the day and what I encounter during the day.
Later that night we went to my friend Ace's hotel room at the Paragon. Ace has been here in Kolkata for a year and a half. He cooks his own meal every day and works morning and afternoon shifts. He's pretty impressive. Anyways, he has a laptop with movies on it and so Caitlin and I bought some Vanilla Ice cream and pepsi and made floats and watched "the Mask!" it was wonderful and so nice to relax! It started to rain heavily and lightening lit up the night periodically.

Today we woke up and went to Fresh and Juicy for breakfast. We've been pretty bad about making it to Mother House the past few days and it's our goal to do it tomorrow morning for mass and breakfast. But we got our usual for breakfast at Fresh and Juicy; and they made my sandwich wrong again! There was tomatoes in it! I think they're thinking I'm asking for the toasted cheese egg sandwhich, while the grilled egg cheese sandwhich is what we always mean... which tastes sooo much better! But whatever! When I arrived at Daya Dan I was walked into the classroom and started making my lesson plan for Nisha. Today, I was working with Nisha and she was more than I expected. She was extremely hard to work with but i managed. I drew out circles and wrote in them the names of colors with the specific color of the name. Say for instances I would write with a red crayon "RED" in a circle, and she was suppose to try to match the color and fill in the circle with the correct color. Usually before the previous teachers just made a mark with the color but i figured she can't read yet so writing it in with the color is just the same as making the mark but maybe she would be come familiar with how the word looks like and starts matching the colors according to how she remembers the names of the color. It's really hopefully thinking but she does this almost everyday... you'd figure after a month or so she'll start remember how the word looks like. So that's the goal! Well, Nisha didn't want to do anything today. She just had her head down on the table and every now and than would get up and try to find something else to do in the class, sometimes I would try to apply some study to whatever she wanted to do but she just didn't want to do something for any longer than a minute so i kept to my lesson plan. She would pick out certain crayons thinking it matches the color of what I wrote and she would make a mark next to the color and see if it would match and would pick up a different crayon and try to do it again until it matched. It was quite clever but she's improving on matching colors pretty well.

I also drew shapes and had her copy the shapes I drew, and that was a bit challenging. She kept drawing triangles when I had her draw squares and than would draw squares when I drew triangles and periodically she would just draw circles. She has the whole circle thing down. So I tried helping her understand squares and triangle a different way, I counted as I drew the two, each stroke of each side had a number.... sqaures had 4 sides so I was able to count to 4 before the lines are connected and triangle 3 sides before the lines are connected. She would count with me and than try to do it herself. Somehow she was able to count to 4 and yet have 3 sides for a triangle. It was quite humorous but in the end it worked out somehow. Maybe, she'll be better at it tomorrow. I made shapes that were half finished and had dotted lines that finished the shape, that she had to follow and fill in. Nisha was pretty sloppy with it at first but I kept on tell her "you have to be careful, slow down" and her shapes became more identifiable. I did dotted lines that spelt Nisha and she had to draw along the dotted lines and write out her name. Than I drew lines so she can copy her name and she began to write letters randomly that she used in writing her name. No specific order, just a whole bunch of "AAAAA" and then "E,N,H,I,S," So i wrote at the top of the page, once again her name and told her to copy it and she did a wonderful at copy it once. So i applauded and gave her praise which made her very happy. I showed it off to the other teachers which also made her feel very happy and proud with herself and so i asked her to do it again and she wrote for me 4 more times her name N.I.S.H.A perfectly! It really made me happy. I was finished with my lessons that day so I gave her a color book to color in. She loves coloring and colors in the line pretty well but when I had her match the colors to the name that was in the correct color she drew way outside of the circle. So I decided I her next lesson plan, for sometime this week. I drew a picture of a house in a sharpie, which looks like one of her pictures in a coloring book, and colored parts of the picture with certain colors. Her task for this lesson plan when we do it will be finding matching colors and coloring in the picture. I think she'll enjoy that more than just filling in a circle with the matching color, because she surely didn't spend time trying to fill in the circle neatly but did perfectly fine coloring in the coloring book. So we'll see what happens.
Music class today was amazing like always. It's just so beautiful to see all the kids singing and dancing. Some of the kids sing what they can, and even if it's not real words and just "da, da, da" to a melody it's still very encouraging for them when everyone claps and they feel confident and special. It's amazing. I love music class as stressful as it may be with kids running around everywhere. I always leave Daya Dan and have children songs stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Caitlin usually comes down from upstairs for music class also and I think we both agree that the songs are addictive, and we can never get it out of our heads for the rest of the day. This little light of mine was a song I introduced at Daya Dan which the kids love now. There's also songs like Jesus loves the little children, God's love is so wonderful, Rise and shine and give God the glory glory, Father Abraham, .... the list is truly endless! I love the children so much!
When music class was over I came back upstairs and helped feed Adreanna. She's an orphan that struggle with some severe deformity, it's extremely hard to get her body to fit into her stroller because her body no longer straightens out. She doesn't have mobility of her arms, leg, and barely any in her head. Feeding her wasn't hard but it took a lot of patiences before i could continue feeding so she can fully sallow her food. She began to a cough and was coughing out her food which was a minor obstacle and towards the end she was crying. But she finished her meal! So i was happy. I brought her back to her crib and came back out to help who ever was in the main gathering space. I came over to little Piya that Caitlin was working with and helped feed Piya. She wasn't eating today so I tried feeding her for a bit but she'd just cry and spit out her food. So I took her food back to The Massis and Sisters and exchanged it for some Juicy so she can get some nutrients at least. She drank only half of her juice cup and began spitting the rest out, but it was something at least.
We headed back to Sudder and had lunch at Blue Sky, Caitlin had some Toast and Honey which she's getting addicted to now... sweet tooth. And i had some american chopsuey, it was great! Well, i'm getting excited for Brianna to get in. I think we both are. The more the marrier! Pray for us and pray for Brianna's flight. She is flying out on tuesday and I think it's her first time on a plane... but i'm not sure. Anyways, God bless! Take care!

Oh by the way, Caitlin created an amazing photo buckets and she posted some of my pictures since I've been here on the site. You really ought to check it out! the address is

http://s192.photobucket.com/albums/z53/cait0013/Kolkata%202007/

No Bus to Kalumkala

2007-07-15T01:56:00.000-07:00

So this morning caitlin and i got up early to meet up my friend lorenzo who works daily at Nabo Jibon. we heard that there was mass at 6:45 at Nabo Jibon and tried to make it to mass. We caught a bus as Espanada to another bus stop which usually have a bus to Kalumkala but today being a sunday morning and going on a different bus time we couldn't find a bus that was heading that way. We stood in the area for about 30 minutes asking several buses that came by but none was headed that way. A man nudge at my bottle of water I just bought, still sealed and said "Pani, Pani". I figured... why not, he must just want a little bit. He was eatting some crackers/biscutts and had a cup of Chai in his hand. I was hestitate even giving him some but... hey charity comes back to you, in one way or another. But I thought he was going to just pour some into his mouth but he fully put his mouth around the seal and their diffinately was some biscutts backwashing going on. I looked at catlin and she just gave me this face... it was priceless. Although I wasn't going to ask for it back it didn't even offer it back... the man just walked off and placed my water on the sidewalk across the street from me and kept on going on with his day. It was quite and interesting experience. Rather funny for me, but weird at the same time. I never et a thankyou or anything when I do something here. Which kind of bugs me because I dont' want the beggers to rely on begging and just think it's how they make a living. The other day I was by the movie and some kid wanted some ice cream.. I figured, its ice cream who wouldn't. So I bought him a cone of ice cream and he looked at me and motioned me for a bigger scoop.. a double scoop and just made a face like; what's this? Anyways, I just went on with the day but it just left me very unsatisfied. With the lifestyle of beggers here on the streets of Kolkata. They really depend make their life around this occupations. There's desinated territories where beggers can be; a new begger can't come into sudder street without the other beggers okay it. It's really weird how it all works but it's how they live and they have some system down. You wake up in the morning and the same begger is at your door... speaking perfect english. I just don't know what to think sometimes. Anyways... back to my story..... Nabo Jibon. Needless to say, we were stuck there! So I figured this is the few occasion I wouldn't mine taking a taxi so I called for a taxi. I asked for the rate before I entered into the taxi... 150 rps... I remembered my ride to pick up caitlin at the airport was abouty 200 rps and it was a 45 min ride ... we were headed maybe 5 minutes from where we were at already so i told him no... he begin to drop the price quick as I walked away but i went straight to a different taxi driver and said 100rps? No problem... and we hopped in. When we got to Nabo Jibon we were a bit late to mass but it still was an amazing mass! It was mainly in Banglai. There was a beautiful homilee and wonderful music being sang in Bangali with tribal drums and this interesting keyboard thing. After mass we had breakfast with the MC brothers. There was only Caitlin, Lorenzo and I there that early. Everone else showed up after breakfast. After breakfast caitlin and i helped get some of the paitents from downstair cleaned up, unclothed and ready for potty training. Nabo Jibon is a site for the sick and destitue boys... most of which are a lot older probably in the 20s-30s. When we were finished with helping out the other volunteers still haven't arrived and it wasn't time for the street children to come in yet so we went back into the room upstairs and just sat and read India's newpaper! All I got to say is the paper here is CRAP! It's probably about the worst lies I've ever heard in my life. I honestly felt my 6 years old cousins can lie better than the newpapers. They exagerated everything and repeated everything numberously. The newpaper was fully of media stuff. It was more like a magazine on the latest hollywood and bollywood stars. Some twisted views on other countries politics, and what suprised me most (also Caitlin) was how horrible the newspaper displayed women! I just wish someone smacked a little Theology of the Body into the media! I took the paper to bring back to the states for some scrapbooking but let me put in one example of the aritcle i read. Here's word per word....

Men like blonde bombshells
There is a clear simple logic working here. Men like to mate younger women as they tend to be more healthy. And a clear indicator of health is physical attractiveness and hair. INterestingly, blonde hair turns brown with age. So when men prefer blonds, they are unconsciously attempting to mate with younger women.

Men sexually harass women because they are not sexist
In a competitive environment, men are usually abusive and intimidating. So when they extend the same behaviour towards women, theyare only being natural, and not sexist. In other words, they are not discriminating between men and women..... etc.

Anyways, the newpaper here blew my mind away and I sat in awe for several minutes afterwards. I couldn't grasp how they could protray this as truth! There were sooo much more crap in that newspaper that i decided to leave out because this blog is public but I'm seriously in disbelief. Caitlin and I both couldn't believe how can someone grasp this as truth... the title of the article in and of itself was Truths About Human Nature.
Okay, well i'm getting really side tracked today. Today when the street children came it was a lot of fun. Like usual they want you to give them a piggy back ride and than we played some soccer. It was so much fun overall and I think Caitlin enjoyed the time being there with the children. I really love the energy the chidren have and how joyful they were being there. One of the street children had a fleshwound in his head and another had his foot banaged and was missing 2 toes. It didnt keep any of them from smile and having fun. We passed out biscutts and the cutest thing would happen.. this one kid brought a little plastic bag and carried his biscutts in. Some kids hid the biscutts in their pockets and tried to get back in line for four more biscutts. They did some trading of biscutts and ... I dont know what. but it was fun to watch. One of the kids learned somehow the word "bastard" and kept going around saying "you bastard!" I couldnt believe what he was saying but I realized he liked the reaction he was getting so I told him to stop once ... and than ingored him, and he kept going around to other english speaking person saying it. Kids will be kids to get a reaction and get away with it. As soon as he thought I was going to tell an MC brother it just shut him up quickly. At Nabo Jibon they have amazing Jackfruit trees! really big jackfruits! Caitlin and I got to try one fresh off the tree and it was AMAZING!!! It made me think of my family and sara. ... I love jackfruit! And jackfruit chips. The children then got fed... sitting out on the dirt with their metal plates and cups. Once they were finished they were sent back to the families while we washed their dishes and joined the MC brothers for lunch! Well, that was our sunday! I think tonight will be another low key night. Caitlin's stomach feels better today and she had a big lunch. So it was probably a one day thing yesterday. tonight Caitlin and i are going to do a prayer hour in the hotel room and than probably try to find osme ice cream to make some rootbeer floats! That's the plan... we'll see if it follows through. Anyways, I miss everyone and continue to keep us in your prayers! Love you all! God bless you always always!

Tuan

Guitar TIME

2007-07-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

Last night Caitlin and I went out to the movies and saw the new Harry Potter movie! I think it's called harry potter and the order of the phoneix. Anyways, it just opened up last night in theaters... I think it opened on the 11th in the States but I know in Ireland it's not opened yet. Caitlin and I met up with the Irish gals... the prepaid for our tickets a head of time and we met up with them and paid them back. Before hand we went to Domino pizza!! yes... believe or not there was a dominos pizza place right next to the movie theater! it was AMAZING!!!!!!! Because the place was air conditioned! Somehow I'm always mistaken here... usually it's as being Japanese but yesterday my name was Mr. Yuant, on my order for my pizza. I'm not sure how you get Yuant out of Tuan but Caitlin and I both thought it was halrious. "I kepted my ticket stub" It's a keeper. Well the movie was really good, just being in the movie theater is amazing and buying a white moco for ... 30 rps and sipping down a warm cup of coffee was great, although it's warm enough already. At the end of the movie I was extremely tired, I felt as if I was going in and out of dreams. It's horrible because both of us were just so dead tired by 10:30 and was dying to get back to the hotel and fall asleep. Actually, when we got to the hotel that was exactly what happened... brushed and fell dead asleep. I fell asleep half way into my rosary... yes yes, I've been procastinating my prayers again till night. I really shouldn't get into that habbit. Well, we both must have forgot to set ours alarms or slept through them... either way, it was a little pass 9 until I woke up and I woke caitlin and we agreed to take the morning off and work afternoon shift instead, since we're late already but both felt bad if we didn't make it to the shift today since tomorrow we're going to try to go to Nabo Jibon instead of Daya Dan. It was so nice to have all morning to relax and go by slow. We had breakfast at Tirupati and had some AMAZING banana pancake! It was freak'n stellar! I love bananan pancake! Today I also bought a guitar! I was trying to go as long as I can without one and seriously I was dying inside. I figured... I pay more on gas in half a week than I would on a guitar here... that i'd use for over a month and if i don't like it than I can always donate it to someone. Although I know the MC sisters have thousands of guitar... a few at mother house and 3 at daya dan that nobody uses but everybody donates so if i were to donate ... it think i'll just give it to a begger on the street so they can resell it... but as of now, i'm growing really fond of the guitar. I missed playing so much and as soon as I got back i just sat for an hour + playing away at the guitar and harmonica. It's great! It was a cheap little green guitar... looks like a Gibson ES hollowbody but plays like crap. Which doesn't bug me because it was 1200 rps with a guitar case, strap, picks, and a set of new strings. I didn't even bother barginning with the guy... impressive huh? Well, I arrived at Daya Dan today and Sr Capita noticed I wasn't here this morning. Seriously the sisters are so cute! They notice when I don't come, and count the days if I'm missing. They ask me when I leave when I'll be back. It's really great... so much love. Sr. Capita and Sr. Christalata... they're amazing! They're the main sisters I talk to at Daya Dan. Today was different because i was working an afternoon shift. the children needs to get out of bed and put into their seats for ... dinner. They wake up around 3:30 or so and by 4:30 they all have their dinner. I fed Bashker today and usually he has an amazing appetite but today he wasn't sallowing his solids so it made it a little harder and took a little longer. Caitlin fed little 4 yrs old Piya. I think Caitlin is growing extremely fond of Piya. She's such an adorable little girl, that has the most contagious smile, but then suddenly brust into tears. But yes yes... gotta love her; Lil' Piya. After dinner I helped the Massi mopped the floor and they laughed and were a little suprised because I was helping them. They thanked me afterwards and had the greatest smile on their face. Some of the children were put back to bed but many of them remained out in the main gathering area. We had balloons that one of the volunteers brought as a gift and blew up several of them. They children were so happy and the massi had so much fun themselves. The sisters were laughing and everyone was having a great time. Many of the balloon popped but to my suprise none of the children jumped or cried when a balloon popped but rather they laughed! It was total opposite from what I was use to in the states... at the sound of a popped balloon ... i usually hear a child cry not long after. But the children here were just sooo excited and intrigued by the texture and colors of the balloon. It was fun! I loved it. When the day was done we headed back to Sudder on the Metro and had dinner at JoJo's. I'm not sure if it's hitting the week or so and Caitlin's stomach is finally kicking in but today at dinner her stomach wasn't feeling so well.. and she had some plain rice. On the otherhand, I was the exact opposite, I finished a whole vegetables sizzler plate with steamed rice to myself! I was pretty impressive and i was happy I finally got my appetite back to do so. Well tomorrow we're going to try to make it to mass at Nabo Jibon and so I must head off and get some rest now if I'm going to get up in time to make the 40 minute bus ride to Nabo Jibon. Take care and God bless everyone!

Teaching

2007-07-13T06:09:00.000-07:00

I had a late night last night and both caitlin and I were dead this morning and didn't want to roll out of bed after being able to sleep in yesterday morning. It took us till 7:05 till we got up and we caught the metro over to Daya Dan with breakfast to go. They made our sandwich wrong today... chicken chesse grilled sandwich with tamatoes... I'm not a big fan of tamatoes. Anyways, when I got to Daya Dan I was working in the class room. Today I taught Mongol. He's such a great kid, he's 12 and we were reading Black Beauty today. We finished the last two pages and I found some words he had difficulties with and didn't really understand. So I created a box with the new words and went over them acouple of times and their meanings. Than I made sentences for him with blanks spot that those words are suppose to go into and he had to pick and choose which words fit where in the sentences. He did extremely well on that. So I Had him do a mulitple choice question... I created sentences using the words incorrectly and one using it correctly and he had to find which one was correct. He didn't have a hard time with that and did far better than I expected. So I asked him create his own sentences using the words in the word box. Mongol was stumped, it took him a while and he didn't want to do it. He kept saying.... "you do it, let's do more multiple choice" ... this and that. Anyways, I told him that i'll give him extra points if he creates his own sentences. I didn't even know I was keeping points but for some reason the word extra point motivated him. And so when he created his own sentences I drew two stars on his paper by the answer rather than one. Sr. Druscilla and Sr. Karina came today to visit Daya Dan and the children were really happy. I got to show Sr. Karina what Mongol learned today and she was quite happy. We than did multiplication and went through our 6s. After class I went downstairs and help lead music time for the children, it was such a great music class today. I think everyone was showing off because Sr. Druscilla and Sr. Karina was here, but either way the children were enjoying themselves. At noon I had my Austria friend, Mickael and a couple of the french gals walk Caitlin back to Hotel Maria because i had to stay behind for class till 3. An extra 3 hours. Sr. Karina dropped off some I Spy books for Mongol and we spent about an hour playing I spy. he loved it! I enjoyed it myself. We than did some puzzel of geography and played some math games on the computer. It was an amaznig day and extremely fun. Today was a great learning experience for myself.
Well, I hate to cut this blog short but I'm suppose to meet Caitlin back at the hotel room in half an hour and it's about 7 which means... it's been half an hour. We're going out to catch Harry Potter but yesterday we saw a dominos pizza place near by and want to grab dinner their before the movie... it's 110 Rps for 2 pizza there!!!! That's amazing! Anyways... I got to get going! Take care and God bless.

A special someone

2007-07-12T01:06:00.001-07:00

God places into each and everyone's life many joys and wonders.
He gives you peace and comfort; the reasurrance that everything will be alright.
He blesses your life with love; Love that never ceases giving and takes delight in loving.
He becomes hidden as a treasure in those he truly loves
And reveals himself to you through them.
God truly provides his love in friendships,
His love through caring,
Forgiving, listening,
And rejoices with joy when He finds you happy in Him,with Him , and through Him.

My Lord, the great Giver of Life; has blest me ever so.
He's filled my life with many moments of joy
The comforting peace He's given me through the comfort of a friend,
reassuring me that everything will rest in the comfort of Our Lord, if we offer it up to Him.
That God will provide.
He's blessed my life numberously with overflowing selfless love;
A love that never cease giving and constantly loves loving everyone she's around.
I've found Christ through one of the greatest treasure; the gift of friendship.
Through the bond of friendship
I've learned to love Him more, be with Him, and live through and for Him
I've learned to how to care for others, and feel cared about.
I've learned to forgive and ask for forgiveness
I've learned to listen rather than to speak for he's given me an example of a great listener.
So, i come in thanks to the Great Giver.
For giving such joy, such love and such graces to me
Blessing me constantly with His Love;
That i find through my friendship,
in a glimps of a smile, in tears, laughters, and through the beautiful eyes
that reveals and capitvates the beauty of the world.
Thank you Lord, for my best friend.

Yuca- Sunshine,
I know you read my blogs every morning and some days you should feel more special than others. In your case you should always feel special. Thank you for your love and support. Happy 7 months! May you rest in the arms of comfort of our Blessed Mother and may she lead you to her Son, so we may become united while we're apart through prayers and service of Love to others. I'm proud of all you do. God bless and thank you for blessing my life. ( i know how much you dislke being put on the spot but I thought I'd let everyone know how amazing you are.) And you only dislike it because of your humility... so be thankful! you're truly blessed and loved. Ohhhh yuca.

Chillin out chillin out

2007-07-12T00:53:00.000-07:00

It's a thursday, which means volunteers day off. So do you know what that meant for Caitlin and I.... we didn't have to wake up early this morning (although it's sad because we miss mass at 6) but it was soooooo glorious to sleep in! We slept intill about 9:20 am, and it felt AMAZING compared to getting up at 5am. It just felt so great waking up without an alarm clock. I got up and showered and i think i woke caitlin up by my horrific singing in the shower. Anyways while brushing I looked over at caitlin and said, "you know what I'm in the mood for?" ....What ? " An Egg Cheese Grilled Sandwich with Mango juice!" ..... are you kidding me? That was exactly what I was just thinking about!!!! "Fresh and Juicy?!" .... oh yes! Hahah, anyways we went out to grab breakfast at fresh and juicy and got Mango lassi instead and OOHHHH BUDDY was that yummy! Everyone have got to try Mango Lassi at least once in their life. Just image how delicious the mangos are here already... now put a little yougurt into that and make it into a smoothie.... "i'm in heaven....I'm in heaven"Seriously it was great! Our day is pretty slow going today. I made sure I called home and Sara today. Sadly my phone call was cut short because there was a huge line of anxious spanish gals that was waiting on the phone while I was talking to Sara. Anyways, I'm not really sure what we're going to do today. Probably some laundry, and I usually try to write on thursdays, read, and I think Caitlin wanted to go out and just relax at the movie theater so we're going to go catch Die Hard (again, for me) tonight, although tomorrow Harry Potter comes out and I know since I last saw Die Hard I planned to go see Harry Potter with the Irish when it comes out, so Caitlin and I may catch another movie tomorrow also. It's so great... to go to the movies here though! It's so relaxing, cool and breezy, and it's funny to watch the people cheer during scenes. Plus you can buy amazing coffee from Brista next door and bring it in, or chips and snacks for cents and pennies. Compared to the US cinemas that costs .... what, $9 something now? Well well, sorry there's nothing too exciting going on today for me to blog about! But please email the excitment in your days. I'm sure you guys have some fun summer stories. I just feel so disconnected.... have sympathy on this poor lonely soul. hahahaha. I'm just kidding but I do miss everyone! And wish you were with me!

The Village

2007-07-11T05:35:00.000-07:00

One of the best days of my life, would have to be today! I honestly had very few days in my life that came close to the experience I had today. God is soooo good to us.
I woke up and was really struggling to get out of bed today although I had plenty of sleep last night. We made it in time for mass and had breakfast with the volunteers. I noticed that Sr. Druscilla was loaded some things and I had in the back of my mind that it could of been all the food we packed yesterday.... which might mean that she's headed out today to the village to give out the food. I was really hestitant to ask, but something in me really wanted to see the work that the sisters did, so I got up off my ass and walked over to Sr. Druscilla. "Are you going out to the village today?" ... Yes. "Do you need 2 more people to come along and help you with all the food?" .... Who? " Caitlin and I?" Yeah, sure. Come come. I thought to myself,... Oh my goodness, thankyou God! This will be the coolest thing ever, Caitlin is going to freak out when I tell her! I walked over calmly and sort of whispered so none of the other volunteers would hear. Caitlin, we're not going to Daya Dan today. I have something else in stored for us. What??? We're going to the village! As soon as those words left my mouth, I could see how joyful she was. We both were... and couldn't hide it. Sr. Driscilla told us to finish our breakfast and she'll return to pick us up after all the volunteers left to their sites. So we stayed behind and waited anxiously. We mopped the floor of the volunteer's room while we waited. We mopped it Indian style like the sisters and novists here. With a wet towel... back and forth, back and forth. When we finished and still were waiting we found and I spy book and played that for several minutes. When sister came we rushed onto the back of a huge truck filled with Rice, Dal, Biscuts, and Oil. We carried on a couple benches. There were a couple volunteers that were coming along and besides sitting on the piles and piles of rice bags ... we needed somewhere to sit on our ride back. The ride there was so exciting. I felt as if I was hidding away or something in the back of a truck full of rice bags, with about 15 volunteers and to MC sisters. It was about an hour and a half drive from Kolkata, and during the ride I had a huge urge to take a piss... yes, believe it. I didn't go before and i couldn't hold it. During a stop light I hopped off the truck ran along the sidewalk and peed into the bush. I felt like a total local, because I swear they're peeing everywhere I walk. Anyways, I thought it was exciting enough to share...and I was fast enough before traffic started moving. Well we went to a place called Korea! S. Korea for that matter. So I can tell everyone I've been to Korea. Although it was just the name of the town. It was soooo beautiful there. There were GREENS and less polution! It was great! When we arrived one of the village there was already a huge crowd that was waiting for us. We had no time to waste. Sr. Druscilla gave out earlier in the week to families a card to recieve food with a number on it. We formed a line, collected the card and passed out rice, dal, biscuts, tea, and oil. It was such an amazing experience I couldn't believe what I was doing! I was drenched in sweat and it was just dripping off my like rain as i was handing down the dal. It was hard work but sooooo rewarding. The people that were recieving the food was so thankful and it was beautiful the work of God. God seriously provides for all and it's so easy for us to loose the focus that everything will turn out for the best and God has an ultimate plan and will provide for us. The people we were giving the food out knew that and for myself who had more than enough always loose that focus. Always wanting more and always taking more stuff for granted. Life is too great and beautiful to not share the joy of loving with all we come in contact with.
We dropped off half the food at this village and was on our way to a different village it was a little further into the rual area. When the bus was headed away large group of the children that we just gave food to was running after the bus with the greatest smile on their faces, waving and saying bye, bye, bye! They ran with the bus for about a quarter mile! And was soooo happy and joyful the whole time! It was such a precious moment. We drove around and got lost for about an hour and finally found the place. Sr. Druscilla looked over at me and said, "do you guys want to see the village?" .........ummm, duh! Is that even a question! I took haste, and followed her into the village and it was the most humbling experience i've ever had in my life. It was so beautifully green. Rice fields in the water and people in it to waist high working the field. There were bamboo tress and all sorts of God's beauty of the earth in one village. The children were naked everywhere and it was the cutest thing ever! Little 2-3 years old naked walk down the street .... by themselves but... towards their home. It was pretty cute. And everyone was just sooo friendly! It was so opposite from the street of Kolkata. There wasn't a single sound of cars for miles and i heard the brids! The air was fresh and the sky was blue! And the people there had such a beautiful white smile with their dark tan skin. They're truly God's blessing to the world. We went through the area where the families expereince flooding up over to half their house and needed some help to get food going for them again. So we went into the areas of the houses walking through calf-high water. It was SOOOO EXCITING! AHHH! I got to speak the little Hindi I knew.... and they smiled and loved it, and talked back. Anyways, while the sister was talking. One of the ladies invited me into her house. And when I say house I mean... room. It was a one room house with a bed. She had two child with her (her grand kids) and their father lived there also but he was at work (rickshaw driver). The room was no bigger than 10 x 10 ft! But it was so comfortable and peaceful as soon as I walked in. They had a shrine for Christ and felt truely blessed. Saying, God's great. If someone that lives in a tiny house, sharing it with 3 others and barely have enough to eat can say God is great... I NEVER should have an excuse to complain to God. Truly God is beyond anything I can fathom and has blested those of the poor to have the eyes to see the beauty of the world. Nothing more pure and innocent was before me that day as I sat and spoke to this older lady. She spoke perfect english and wanted me to come in. "I don't have any tigers or bears... it's okay please come in." Awwww, how could I refuse a cute offer like that. I was bending down starting to take off my shoes since it was covered in mudd. "NO NO NO, come right on in, do not take off your shoes. It doesn't matter." Aww... seriously I was speechless about how this women just wanted to give me attention and make me feel at home and was so selfless. She saw caitlin waiting outside and called her into the house also. She told us of how great God is and how blest she was. We talked a little about her grand kids, and family. She told me she haven't been able to make it to church in a long time because it costs 50 rps to get into town and she can't afford that. Never once have I ever thought of not having the means to go to mass. Sometime I even feel lazy to go and here was this lady that would of loved to spend one day at church but the cost of it was more than she would ever spend for her self when she had to take care of her motherless grand children. God is beyond wonders and has poured out such graces on this lady to give her the joy that she has in such conditions. But honestly, it is I who am poor. What is more valueable? The things we posses materialistically or the things we posses spiritual and morally? I am living in poverty, a spiritual poverty and this lady gave me more than money could buy. More than my plane ticket was worth and more than I could learn on my own in a life time. She gave me the joy of loving, or praising our Lord for everything we have. For being thankful in every situation of life. And having the eyes of God to see, to hope, to offer, and to love.
When we left the village there was a group of villagers that was follow us to collect the food from the main road. In front of me was the cutest little girl, probably about 6 holding her naked 3 years old brother. It was sooo precious and he would always look at us and smile. I locked eyes with him for quite a bit and then it finally broke with a smile. It truly filled my heart with joy and I felt soooo blessed. A lady was offering us her child to take with us, and it moved my heart with great pity. The work that we do... is nothing compared the the Love they had to offer. Love is far more important than wealth but it was so sad to think that a mother, that loves her child so much would offer her child up for a better life knowing that a life in the US doesn't compare to the lifestyle here in the village of S.Korea, India. That the poorest child in the US is the glimps of the poverty here and if I had the means for adoption, i would of loved to adopt the beautiful children here but only letting the parents know that they have so much more to offer. They have such a pure, beautiful love. A love that so captivatig and uplifting and a life style that i would trade for my lifestyle. To rely on Christ and still have the joy in our hearts. Love and joy is something that is so precious and the lost of love is truly the world's greatest poverty. Everything will change if we have love in our hearts. And love isn't love unless it's put into action... our love will consume the world if we begin loving today. All those we come in contact with. Love will build bridges and is the ONLY answer to peace on earth and an end to war. Love must only be given selflessly with the joy of giving. How can I ever begin to learn how to love as everyone here love. I feel so selfish, so prideful, and filled with nothingness by what i've been filling my life with. I must offer this nothingness to our lord... like a broken vessel that God turns into the most useful instrument. We all need much mending and the mending begins in our hearts and in our homes. Love in the US begins to break down in the homes before it does in our lives. As Mother Teresa say "Love begins in the home" and being here I understand why she would say such a thing. The people here are so family oriented and the love they have for each other is reciprocated and overflows to their neighbors and all people they come in contact with.
When we got back to the main road, Caitlin and I were able to hand out directly to those that came for food and it was such a graceful experience in my life. As crazy and chaotic as the lines were ... i had much joy in my heart because I knew God had provided the people the means to have a meal in their time of need. When their crops were flooded and much repair needed to be done.
On our ride back we sang songs in the back of the bus and it was so great! Everyone was filled with joy because it was the joy of giving. And the gift we recieved was love and it consumed our hearts. We sang and clapped to praise songs, children songs, and of course disney songs! Sitting on the benches was pretty insane as the bus was hopping up and down through pot holes, and than the stop and go that jerked us back and forth... but none of us really cared and had such an amazing time with each other. We stopped at Sr. Druscilla's church and had cookies and coffee with the priest, and on the way back Sr. Druscilla and Sr. Rose bought us all Chicken Egg Rolls and sprite which was AMAZING!!! We didn't get back till past 3pm, and the chicken egg rolls hit the spot.

May we only become an example to each other of selfless love and set our lives to the greatest example of selfless love, the example that is before us on the crucifix; the Love of Christ for the world. God is LOVE, so let us become an imitation of Christ.

Plenty of Biscuts

2007-07-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of work for Caitlin, we were trying to lay low yesterday... sleep early so that we can get back into the time zone of things. Last night it was a little harder for Caitlin to get in the whole mode of Kolkata, after the internet blogging. I think she truly missed Ricky and the fam. The day was also extremely overwhelming. Because we didn't do anything really yesterday... it just seems crazy. Because you're not on a schedule and everything is busy and moving and you just feel lost. I forgot about how it really was in the beginning for me here in Kolkata and I know I had a much easier transition than most people I've talked to, but the smell, the sight, begger, sales perosn and especially the crazy drivers can be extremely overwhelming. And the walk home from Orientation at Mother House last night was during busy hour here on the streets of Kolkata and I think it took Caitlin by surprise. We went back to the hotel room to recollect and I told her... as I'll tell everyone that may plan on going to Kolkata. It's insane here on the streets of Kolkata. Everything is just BUSY! And you can't just relax and walk in a straight line. You're constantly dodging cars, motercyclist, rickshaws, and people. And honestly... it gets exhausting. But if you're going to Kolkata to work with the Missionaries of Charity. Don't wait... till things get better to start working because the work you do will make your trip better. It gives you an instant schedule and makes things less chaotic. You wake up at 5... mass is at 6, you have breakfast, and go to your first session sight till noon, by noon you're exhausted but in a good way, so you can just head back to Sudder and grab a bite to eat and relax! Take time to journal, to email, nap, read, anything to recollect yourself, and than importantly try to make it back to the Mother House at 6 to offer everything back in purpose of your trip in Adoration. Dinner, and than blog or SLEEP!!!! That's pretty much your day if you don't do afternoon shift. And it's less crazy than just hanging out in Kolkata and "taking a day off".
So today was Caitlin's first full day and she truly jumped in the door with both feet on the ground and hit it squared on the bullet. I was blown away and really proud of her. We made it mass, breakfast, and than did the bus and rickshaw to Daya Dan. I had her come upstairs and help at Daya Dan with me so I can show her around. We started preparing the children for bathing and cleaning the cribs. I'm not sure how Caitlin felt about it all but it seemed as if she went straight into the work without any real hesitation. Little Piya was smiling contagiously today and diffinately loved Caitlin. We went into the physical therapy room and worked with some of the kids, it was actually really exciting for me to have her there with me because I know she's been reading my blog in the States before she left and read about Bashker and Angeli and a couple of the other cute kids I've worked with and than finally meeting them herself here in Kolkata was a great experience for her. I showed her how to do leg exercises for Angeli as I was doing the same on Lazy little Bashker. I swear, this kid is going to be the world's best actor. It cries as soon as you put on his leg brace for physical therapy because he's such a lazy ass and absolutely hates physical therapy. But i love him to death and buy in to his act everytime he cries because all I wan to do is snuggle with him and have him lay in my arms, but the sisters are always like... he's lazy and he'll cry... don't buy in! And although I usually don't I bought in after 10 minutes toady. Angeli on the other hand was amazing with Caitlin, she always is... she makes no fit, but rarely smiles... I think I caught a glimpse of one today. It was more of a smirk but it made me happy. Anyways, I love holding little 3 years old Bashker and so I let Caitlin share the joy of loving and let her hold Bashker as I worked with Angeli, Adreanna, Gabriel, and Ankush. At 10 am, there's music class for the students downstair so I told Caitlin to come join and check it out. It's always so lively and fun because the kids sing whatever they want and they lead it, but at the same time it's sooo stressful to keep them seated and not climbing on the windows or tables... or smacking each other around. It was great either way, Caitlin was introduced to the class as New Auntie Caitlin, and we made her lead a song for the class. It was great... shy Caitlin singing! She lead us in the itsy bitsy spider. When we went back upstairs it was later than usual and missed tea time/break.. but i told her to take one anyways, it's important. I took my break in a meeting with the teachers that taught in the classroom at Daya Dan because they wanted me to start teaching at Daya Dan this Friday with some students. So I had a quick run through at where the students were at in reading, mathematics, colors, months, dates, weekdays, numbers, and all that jazz. It was really exciting and I think I'm going to love teaching! It's a privilege to me for being asked to do so because there's only 5 teachers (tutors). They usually want long term teachers so that the teaching style doesn't always change and there won't be a new teacher every week or so. So I guess that's why they asked me since I'm here a little longer than some of the volunteers. Although there are some volunteers that has been here from 6 months- a year+. Which is impressive!
Well, we left Daya Dan a little before 12 and caught the Metro back to sudder. Caitlin experienced the stare in the metro... probably the first real time. But every foreigners do, especially in the metro... what other entertainment is there while waiting for your destination. haha, just kidding. Anyways it was good because I warned her before we stepped into the metro to expect it. I ended up talking to one of the guys... he was asking about my bracesses. It's truly unheard of here in Kolkata. They think it's a new invention and something high tech for teeth. I freak'n hate bracesses but... whatever. If it makes me cool here... anything helps! They already always think I'm Japanese. I get a kick out of it.... ummm, sometimes; than i just get sick of hearing "hey Japan!" ... "I"M NOT JAPANESES!"... You've seen one you've seen them all, huh? just kidding. Anyways back to the day, we went to Blue Sky today and I finished more than half my meal. I was worried about Caitlin yesterday because she didn't have much of an appetite either but she's fine today. I just notice on small things like that; whether someone finishes their meal, how much water they're drinking (which she isn't... cough cough), and if someone makes them uncomfortable ....it's the brotherly instinct in me. What do you expect when you have someone like me that comes from a family of 4 sisters and a younger brother. I for surely enjoy walking the streets and realize that I don't feel comfortable when this guy comes walking straight towards us and I could tell Caitlin feels the same... so we got this system thing down whether she knows it or not... she kind of trails behind me and walk in a line and than I get big and give a little nudge to guy shoulder if he comes too close... it happened about twice today.
When we got done with lunch we just went back to the room and relaxed, got tried to nap for 30 minutes but didn't really and Caitlin wrote in her journal for about an hour or so. Pretty good time spent debriefing. Anyways, 4 was catechism study with Sr Korina so we left to the Mother house half till. When we got there we had something else in stored for us! Sister said we're going to make our study active today! The charity we'll learn about is the work we do! Because of the monsoon many family have been left without food to eat. about 300 family ~ 1000 people. And in the room there were BAGS and BAGS of rice, some type of beans, and biscuts. It was our task to get everything split into bags of 300 for the families. There was about .... 8 volunteers, the ones that usually came to catechism study... and some that didn't today so it left us short on laborers. Which was funnily ironic because the gospel reading today was saying there's much harvest that needed to be done but very few laborers...so ask the master of harvest to send out laborers for the harvest. And surely enough we were short on labor and plenty of laboring that needed to be done! Caitlin and I were in charge of the biscuts and it took us about 3 hours to finish splitting everything up. It was really cool knowing the fruits of our work will be of such great help to those that are without food. And I think Caitlin and I were both pretty excited that we were helping out with the MC sisters and they were there ... here and there, but we the novists came down and helped us and so we got to work alongside the novists. And in the middle of our work and certain times all the novist would just stop what they're doing and start praying! it was AWESOME! We finally finished everything a little before 7 or so , so we were able to catch a couple minutes of adoration. By the end of that... we were just pooped out and tired, but had to walk the busy street back to Sudder and for surely it was another insane day. I swear, i really have to go to reconcilation every time i walk the street of Kolkata. Just the inital thoughts that run through my head or the words that come out of my mouth towards the stupid cars! ahhhhh! Anyways... it's something i'm working on. I really should try praying while walking, i did it once and it worked wonders. Well we got back and didn't want to go anywhere far for dinner so just went right next door to our hotel ... JoJo's. We had a freak'n AMAZING sizzler combo plate with rice! It was the best thing i've had since i've been here in Kolkata! I was blown away. Anyways, if you go to Kolkata and you're on Sudder... go to Jojo's get a sizzler combo plate and you'll be so delighted. I finished my meal, which i was pretty excited about and than we got some ICE CREAM! First time that I had ice cream since I've been here and it was one of the greatest things I've experienced here (i'm exagerating a little) but it really was amazing! It hit the spot! Well.... anyways, that pretty much does it for me. That was the day and now i've just spent 2 hours at the internet cafe while caitlin was making a call and so we're headed back to end the day early to be able to get up tomorrow to do a days worth or work... or a months work or work in my case because when I'm in states I do squat dittledi, that's something I'll work on... when I get back. ... maybe. Don't hold me to it. hahaha. just kidding. Take care God bless! Pray for us!!!! we need it! Pray for transition for caitlin and pray for... our health in general.

~Tuan!

Caitlin is HERE

2007-07-09T04:09:00.000-07:00

So it's been pretty amazing here in Kolkata, India... but just got better; Caitlin's here! Last night I switched over to Hotel Maria and was trying to get some sleep before I had to head out to the airport to pick up Caitlin. But I couldn't fall asleep ... so many things were running through my head, and I'm not sure why. I think it also was because i was in a new room, and it's kind of quiet (to what I'm use to). Anyways... while laying in bed waiting till 11:20 pm to come around for me to head out to the airport I heard loud drums banging. I was thinking to myself, "dang, I moved out of Paragon a day too soon." I rushed out of bed to see what the excitment was but to my suprise it wasn't coming from hotel paragon. The drumming was on the Streets of Kolkata. It was some festival for a God and there were about 4 drummers with drums the size of garbage cans and a drummer with a small drum a size of a pan... It was amazing! So awesome to listen to! I ran out in my pjs, shirtless to catch the excitment... ran back in, grabbed a shirt and my video camera... and continued on. So when i get back into town, I'll be sure to show you all it. But the drummer would light the tip of his drumsticks and play for a while until the fire was distinguish and did it again and again. It was pretty cool.

Anyways... I got a taxi driver to take me to the airport and back for 200rps there and 200 rps back; a total of 400 rps.... best price yet. He waited at the airport for an hour and half with me. We got there a little before midnight and Caitlin's flight came in a little after 1:15 am. So... to wait inside the airport, there's a 60 rps charge. I wasn't going to go in but I remembered that I told Caitlin, if she doesn't see me in the airport... do not leave the airport checkout point otherwise there'd be a thousand taxi drivers trying to take her stuff and get her into their taxi. So I paid the 60 rps, which really isn't anything... but it's as much as a meal here. I paid it after hanging out talking to the Airport manager for about half an hour. He told me... next time you come in, you won't have to pay the 60 rps because now you're on camera... next time you're my friend. I honestly, really doubt he'll remember me in a week when I come pick up Briana, but 60 rps... whatever. There was air conditioning inside so it was nice. I sat and read The World's First Love... and I'm telling you, the more and more I read that; I'm just in awe of that book! It's a book you must read... Fulton Sheen; the World's First Love!
Well, 1:15am struck and the doors opened... it wasn't like a mad rush through the doors, i'm sure many people were picking bagage claim and this and that so it was a slow anticipation to see Caitlin walk through those doors. But at the sight of the blue shirt, khaki pants (like how Dawn Stone described), her blonde hair and blue eyes... i was just stoaked to max to finally share this all with someone from home. For everyone that doesn't know Caitlin... she's a buddy of mine from Otown, I've known her since I was a freshman... and I think possibly that i first met her at a Perpetual Motion dance back in the good old days of middle school. So it was so great to have a friend in Kolkata and finally see her in the airport. We both had the biggest smile and I couldn't wait to begin to talk and fill her in on everything here! What to do, what not to do, what to expect, how to make look around and take things in but not really make eye contact... all that jazz. On the ride home I pointed out the numberous people that were sleeping along the sidewalk, the cows, goats, and random animals on the street and all the fun stuff that I wanted her to see of Kolkata before day time. We got to our Hotel and had to wake up the security guard/hotel check-in man. The majority of the people here in Kolkata (on the lower end of the scale) sleep at/with there occupation;' so let's say, you were a taxi driver. You'd more than likely be sleeping in or on your taxi. The internet cafe person sleeps on the floor of his internet cafe. Just as the hotel manger sleeps on the floor of his hotel right by the door to check in new people ... like caitlin. Well we got in and unpacked and talked for a bit, lights finally went out at 3am and we got up this morning at ... 8:30am. Today, we took the day off (which i feel bad because that's been the story of the week.... Tuan's not here!) but since it was Caitlin's first day in... i didn't want to rush into anything busy and I wanted to just talk and show her the town. I showed her to the cheapest place intown that give mes a 3 rps per min rate for any phonecalls while he charges 4 at his store and others charges 5-8 rps. Nor Alam is his name... find him if you're in Kolkata and tell him, Tuan sent you and he'll knock down your price, haha. Anyways, Caitlin was able to make calls home to the Fam and her boyfriend Ricky. Which I'm sure they appreciated it as much as she did. We went over to Fresh and Juicy for breakfast (it was also my frist meal when I was in Kolkata the first time so i figured maybe I'll take her there). But hey guess what everyone, I was able to finish a whole egg, cheese grilled sandwich... with Mango juice! I couldn't believe I didn't loose my appeitate or anything. For those that haven't read my previous blog, my stomach haven't been happy with me and it's suprising if i'm hungry any time of the day this week... usually I'm forcing myself to eat just because I know I have to, but this morning was getting better. Although I haven't had anything since...but I'm getting hungry!! The meds are working! After breakfast I decided let's throw her into the heat of things... so, we went to New Market. Where all the beggers and salesman are trying to get tourist's attention. I told caitlin, if you're not interested don't turn your head sideways to look at them, it's a big give away for them that they got your attention and the sales man would follow you down the block trying to sell things if you give them the attention. And I could see as soon as we entered New Market she was trying hard to keep her eyes up but looking straight and afar. It was halrious. It was great, it made me laugh but than we decided to be on a mission while we were there to find a hankercheif and some light clothings for Caitlin. I first told caitlin the rule of thumbs for bargining... you kind of have to know an approximate range of what things are worth here in Kolkata... including how much 1 rps can go for here. Most tricky sales person would try to either double the price, or more likely if you're white-skinned tripple the price. There was a hankerchief that I bargined down to 12 rps when orginally said 20rps. But when it came to clothes it became a little more tricky. This sales man was trying to sell Caitlin a light shirt for 350 rps, which was unheard of for me, Knowing the the last one I bought was under 80 rps. So I kind of had some fun with him, bargining back and forth for 80 rps for the shirt. .... The priced dropped from 350 to 225 within 5 seconds. Than when he realized that I knew that all the other stores sell it for 80 or less he begin to lower it... 210... 150.... ok ok, final last offer 125. We did the walk away, and was called back, Ok 80, no problem. hahaha SWEET! VICOTRY!!!! Anyways, like i told Caitlin seconds before running into the man, that most would try to double or tripple the price of what they would sell it for a local Indian there. it's all about the bartaring. On the way back to the Hotel I swung by Eastern Dianostics and checked my test results and I'm positive for malaria, in 3 or my 6 test. Negative in 2 and am waiting for one more test that I will find out at 6 pm. this afternoon. So this sucks.... but what also sucks is that I'm just messing with you guys and I'm actually absolutely fine. I did get 5 of the 6 results back and they're all negative. Thought I'd play with your head for a half a second to get my kicks here in Kolkata. When we got back to the hotel it was getting pretty late, we sat around and talked for a while than i showed her the local internet cafe and we came back ... talked a little more and headed to Mother house for 3 Oclock Orientation. I helped the Sisters with some paper work while Caitlin was doing orientation and talked them in trying to let her come to Daya Dan with me to volunteer. It's been so packed there with volunteers, that nobody have been able to really get into Daya Dan without someone else leaving. Surely enough, I got them to save her a spot .. and when she came up to registar they filled her in that saved spot, and although she won't be working upstairs with me, she'll be with the kids downstairs at Daya Dan. I think things are going to get busy for me upstairs anyways. I was asked to help be a teacher for one of the child in the school starting friday. So I won't be with all the paitents I've been spending so much time with but now will be focusing on 1, in perticular. Well that pretty much does it for the day. I think we're headed to Jojo's for Dinner and then swing by and pick up my last test results and call it a night early. We're both exhausted, and want to sleep early to get back in the swing of time... to wake up early for mass, breakfast, and morning shift. Anyways.... thanks for all the prayers everyone! my stomach is beginning to feel a lot better! OH, by the way a special thanks to the Connel family and Stone Family for buying me beef Jerky! You're freak'n amazing! I was in heaven today chowing down some beef jerky for snacks! Yes, believe it or not... i was snacking today. I'm tellng you I'll be back and good in 2 days having 3 meals a day and it'll be more than a tiny sandwich. But the beef jerky sure was good! Beef Jerky has got to be a taste of heaven....umm, unless if you're Hindu... yeah..... anyways, I hope all's going well and thanks for thoughts and prayers! Double up the prayers now that Cailin and I are here, we'll both need them! Thanks thanks for everyone's support and donation. I'm sure caitlin could still use some donation for her trip she's still putting in a lot of pocket money so if you'd like to donate to either Caitlin, Briana, or Corina I'm sure they would really appreciate it. Swing me an email and i'll let you know how to get in contact for donations. Alrighty God bless you all!

I love mass at DAYA DAN

2007-07-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

I was able to get up and not feel like Junk in the morning, this morning, in time for 6 o clock mass! Mass was beautiful like always but I felt as if I've been away from the Mother House for so long! It was so nice to be back in the Mother house! It's something you miss because it's so OPEN and so CLEAN, compared to the crowded and dirty streets of Kolkata. I love it there! I didn't recieve this morning because (i kinda left this out last sunday) but i missed mass last sunday because my alarm didn't go off; and than when I was planning on going to mass in the afternoon at 6pm at St Mary I took a nap and tried to set the alarm and missed it also... needless to say; I didn't recieve this morning because of it. I've been searching everywhere in Kolkata all week to find a catholic priest to do reconciliation, but every reconciliation had to be done by appointment and my pride got a hold of me... too ashamed to ask. Yes yes, now I remember why I'm here in Kolkata... to work on humility, and pride is the last thing we should be thinking about when we enter into confession ASKING for forgiveness. Anyways, after mass today... I swallowed my pride and rushed out to catch the priest before he left (to where ever he goes). I was able to do reconciliation and it was so great! Afterwards I went back into the chapel for some reflection/prayer and than down to Mother's tomb to say hi and ask for some prayer intentions. I went to Breakfast with the volunteers and everyone seems to be new! not going to the Mother house for a couple of days changed everything for me! I barely reconginzed anyone (exagerating a little). Oh, I almost forgot to mention Mother's quote of the day that was on the chalk board was (this if for you Michael G.)... "Faith in action is Love. Love in action is Service." ~Mother Teresa.
Well at mass this morning my stomach was really killing me, I could hardly bare it but I thank God, that he gave me the strength to get out of bed and walk to the Mother house for mass. During mass I took on great suffering, I could barely kneel striaght because my stomach wanted to crunch up, but i offered it up to be united to Christ's passion. I thought to myself during breakfast; I'm going to go back to my hotel room, my stomach isn't going to let me work today. Anyways... God had different plans for me. A bunch of new volunteers were headed to Daya Dan and nobody there was nobody at the Mother House that knew there way to get to Daya Dan that was going there today, so of coursed I told them I'm headed there, and hop on the bus towards Manicula. When I got there, all the children were dressed in matching clothes for Mass. It was so beautiful! I put myself straight to work, since the children were already bathed and clothed I went to the physical therapy room and worked with Bashker and Angeli. Little Pia was crying non stop ... but what's new. She cries a lot if nobody is holding her, so of course I caved in after several minutes. Sister Capita and Christilata was happy to see me there two days in a row. Sr. Christilata asked if I could do the readings for today's mass. Of Course (now that I just got out of reconciliation)!
The mass at Daya Dan, i have to say is one of my favorites. I've been to two mass there and they're so beautiful. The children are so beautiful at mass. The altar server is a child that has some difficulties talking and moving, but still he knows the mass part very well and know what he must do as an altar server. Mongol (the child that's in a wheelchair, and is extremely frail/skinny) leads singing. And there are some child with a drum that REALLY suprised me! He can't talk yet (although he's probably 11 yrs), and have some deformation problem but can still walk . Anyways, he played the bongo/kongos and kept PERFECT beat! It was amazing! There was a child that played the tamborine. Anyways, the children were so envolved at mass! Although their lives had many challenges, God really shined through them during Mass. Many of the children were clapping during the entrance song, memorial acclimation, alleluia, many sang in Bangali the "lamb of God". It was just so beautiful! The children really knew each part of the mass! I was in awe! The priest actually side tracked his homily on this... the reading had to do with "peace be with you". And he said that although many may think that this may be distracting at mass the children are truly at peace with the Lord and the gift they have from the Lord to be in full participation during mass and I couldn't agree any more with him. I really saw Christ truly present in the Eucharist and in each member of his church there today. It is something I really wish everyone could experience, with the eyes to see Christ through them.
After mass I went back upstairs and help fed the Sonju. He was the first to finish in the room which made me extremely happy.
When the day was done I headed back to Sudder but my stomach was still really killing me. And I know Sara been telling me.... "please go to the doctor/hospital" so her words rung out as I was walking home. I went over to the clinic... Eastern Dianostic. Highly recommended by many of the volunteers. When I came in, they took me straight upstairs to see the doctor although there were many in the paitents waiting area but probably because i was a foriegner they let me cut for some reason. Anyways... the doctor appointment was 200 rps. Not bad at all. He wrote out some a perscription for me to get at the pharmacy but he said I needed to get a blood test. Stupid me, i shouldn't have told him i kind of had a fever, I meant to say... the other day, but now it's GONE!.. but those words didn't come from my mouth exactly. Anyways, the fact that he thought I still had a fever here and there... he needed me to get my blood test. And guest how much a blood test was... 1920 rps! I was SHOCKED! But he said I must, and i couldn't get out of it. I told him... maybe i'll take the meds and 4 days after if it doesn't go away I'll come back for the blood test, but nope... 1920 rps it was and a blood test was what i went through. He's afraid I may have a viral infectionl; although I highly doubt I have it because I've been doing some really busy labor work and plus, I feel prefectly fine besides the stomach/diaherea (sorry to say). Anyways I find out the results tomorrow afternoon. This afternoon I ran around trying to get my meds at the pharmacy but a lot of the pharmacy were closed and the first one that I went to that was open didn't have both, so I only bought one there and than found one later that had the other med I'm looking for a total of 70 rps for meds. I had a small lunch at Jojo... grilled cheese. I really have a lost of appetiate due to this stomach problem, but i had to try to get some food in my stomach. I got back to Hotel Paragon finally. And asked about rooming situations for when Caitlin gets in. Anyways, they uped the price on me at Hotel Paragon... and it would of cost us both 135 rps and when Briana gets here it'd be 130 rps each and no bathroom in the room. I checked at hotel Maria and they're giving it for us 110 each; caitlin, briana and I (when briana arrives) and it was so much bigger and we had our own bathroom. So I switched out of Hotel Paragon and am now in Hotel Maria. Now instead of being dominately Koreans guys at Hotel Paragon, it's dominately Spainish girls at Hotel Maria. Well, I had my day cut, by then it was 5. And so i went onto the roof and started doing laundry. I was down to my last pair of short and shirt (that have been worn 4 times already without wash). I've been lazy but today I did them ALL! And so they're hanging still on the roof for drying.
I'm getting excited because I know in a couple of hours, Caitlin is flying in. So i'm going to pick her up at the airport! By the time we get back to Hotel Maria it'll probably be 2:30 am, so I really doubt I'll be at work tomorrow, but we'll see. Anyways, that's the day for today! I hope all's going well back in state! Pray for my health. My stomach is being dumb. I hope it clears up in 4 days or so with these pills i'm taking.

Dispentary Station

2007-07-07T06:56:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning, in hopes that I would be able to make it to mass, I stood up out of bed and was getting ready for the day.... but than it hit me. My stomach began to gurgle and all I felt like doing was crouching over. I thought, maybe I'll be better in an hour. I came back into my bed, disapointed that I was going to miss mass and laid there and prayed. "Lord, if it's your will for me to be of service today; may you give me the strength to do you so." An hour later I woke up and although my stomach wasn't feeling completely better, i figured it'd be a poor excuse for me to not go make it to Daya Dan today. So I went off on my own; bought a bottle of gatorade, and caught the metro towards Girish Park (daya dan). When I arrived there were plenty of new volunteers there that day. Many of which had no clue where to start and was standing in the middle of the room. I made me think about my first day here, completely clueless about everything and feeling as if I was in everyones way. But when I arrived today Sr. Capita greeted me and said "three days, you no come." Worried, but yet still so cute. I love the sisters here; counting my days when I show up or not. It seemed today by the time I arrived that the children were bathed, which is earlier than usual and since it was a Saturday the physical therapist was coming in to work with the children. I went to the crib where Megha sat. Megha is a girl that has all intellect capabilities but her body is extremely frail and thin, she uses a wheel chair and is encouraged to feed herself, and do many things on her own. She looked at me and said "Uncle, sit!" as she patted her crib. Uncle is a term that used for male here in Kolkata, very respectful in my opinion. And Auntie is what's used for the female. I sat down beside her and she asked me to help her put on perfume that she just got as a gift. It was so cute. Then I went into the classroom and got her a colorbook as we sat and colored with color pencils. I went into the physical therapy room and saw Angeli sitting against the wall and was so happy to see her not sick anymore. I was going to begin working with her leg muscles but as soon as I started a sister from down stair came into the room and looked at me and said "dispentary downstairs." ... WHAT?!? Did I hear her correctly? I told her, I have no medical education or skills. "No no, you go downstair to dispentary" When a sister ask... you just do it, so i did. I went down the stairs thinking to myself, what on earth did I get myself into. Worried sick about whether I'd do something wrong or make things worst. This wasn't like patching a cut with a bandade, i've see some of the wounds the MC sisters works with in Mother Teresa's videos. Today was Saturday, and on tuesdays and saturdays are days when there are dispentary station downstairs in a private room for street paitents. I stepped into the room and my friend Mazie, a med student, looked over at me and said... Thank God, we were praying that someone would come and help. "I don't know if I can do much help" I replied. Mazie said, I got the knowledge you'll be my hands, there are 38 or so paitents outside, more than we usually have and none of the volunteers that usually come showed up today. I just thought to myself over and over; "oh boy... I'm screwed,... or maybe more logically, they're screwed because I'm working on them." I put on a pair of rubber gloves and a face mask. My first paitent sat down in front of me and he was a boy, no older than 13. He put his foot up on the bench. The wrap that was previously wrapped has now become so dirty, yellowish brown, and also soggy, with this horrific smell. He was a boy that got his foot/leg tored by a truck, i'm not sure how but it didn't look pretty one bit. Mazie walked me through the first paitent, as she was still working on another; I began to cut the bandage wraps off and unwind the bandage. The closer I came to his leg the harder it became, his wound has grown into the bandages and I had to put a little bit of water to loosen up the bandages and not teer his skin and wound. When the bandage wrap was finally off, I was in disbelief at what i was working with. This poor boy had a deep cut that was almost half of his lower leg. It went deeper than anything i've ever seen. At least an inch into the skin's surface. I was afraid I was looking at part of the bone also. But diffinately realize I'm dealing with a paitent that has exposed flesh. about 5 inches wide and 1 inch deep. On the other side of his leg he had a smaller wound (i use the word small lightly, it was an inch wide and 1/2 inch deep). Mazie told me what to use to clean out the wound. It was a multi-step process. I can't even begin to remember what were the medical treatment called, I did see hydrogen proxide... be that wasn't used for a deep flesh wound like this. I began cleaning his wound; step by step of how i was told so. Trying to clean out all the white pussy parts around it and make sure there wasn't anything unsanitary on the flesh. I then put a skin cream on the wound to rehabilitate the grown of skin over the flesh, and that was the last step. I gauzed up the wounds and layered it very well because these patients walk around the street barefoot, in the rain. When I was finally finished I couldn't believe I helped my first patient. I had no doubt it was God using me because I know i could not have done that myself. I know that I didn't have the stomach to bare such a sight, or the will to clean intensivelyl so to make sure these patients were going to be alright. There were 8 stations set up and only 3 people helping with dispentary. One of the other volunteer who was also asked to come downstair to help wasn't able to help at the first sight of her patient, she went back upstairs and a different volunteer, Blanca (thank God) who has helped with dispentary at children dispentary locations a few times came and helped us. After a couple of hours several of the sisters came in to help also and all 8 stations were filled and the line that awaited out in the street was moving a lot more fluidly. I dressed a lot of foot wounds. Far extremely then what I ever expected but not once did these patients complain. They would all fold their hands in praise and bless me as they left. A lady gave me a kiss on the forehead for helping out. These patients had such a kind heart and had an amazing outlook on life; many had enormous inch deep flesh wounds but was still so grateful. I had much to learn from them. There was one patient that had magets in his wounds, that has ate into his leg a deep hole. I swore the twizer used to pull out the maget had to have gone half way in but he didn't even move or make a sound. I've never seen worms/magets in my life before... these yellow little "lavra looking things". I couldn't believe someone was walking around with numberous of magets inside his leg. Hours and hours passed and I began to become more and more comfortable, I had Mazie and the MC sister that had medical history help explain and monitor what i needed to do and I had the grace of God to help guide and give me the strength in doing what i was doing.
The day at Daya Dan ended a lot later than I usually end if i was working upstairs. We finish the line of patients that was waiting along the side of the building on the street. Our last patient was something else... He had some horrible stitchings done at some hospital awhile back, and for some reason he had wires in his foot. Needless to say, his foot was a total mess. It smelled wrost then all the wounds I delt with before combined and his foot was so deformed, with flesh wounds infections and these random wires sticking in and out of his foot. It was beyond what MC sisters, and the volunteers can do... and so we had to get him to the hospital. Although I didn't get to work the with children upstairs I felt as if God got me out of bed for the very reason of helping those at the dispentary. As soon as I finished my work there and returned to sudder street my stomach acted up again and i returned to my weird stomach mode. I'm still praying that it'll clear up.. and nothing seems to be pleasing to my stomach. The thought of food makes it upset but I'm trying.
I realize that Caitlin will be flying out in a couple of hours and tomorrow late night or early morning monday; I'll have a travel buddy! I'm excited! Today there wasn't catehesis with Sr Karina, although many of thought so; but she wanted to meet with Justin one on one, the non-catholic that had these amazing questions, and I could only imagine how benefical that meeting would be for him rather than the other 10 other volunteers that are just looking to pick at sister's brain for new insights and different perspective on the same belief. Anyways, God is amazing and is working hard here in Kolkata. I can not take any credit of the work that was done today and keep it to myself or praised whatsoever. Like Mary, who reflects all praises back to our Heavenly father, as a mirror that reflects the light... may I only begin to praise God through her example for the wonderous deeds He has done today, and the blessings He's given to me and shown me throughout today. All for Jesus ~ always, always.

A day of rest

2007-07-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this blog is even worth writing. I wasn't going to blog today but I figured that some people are checking my blogs daily and if I didn't blog... than you may think something happened. So, just to let you know... all's fine.

I feel really bad because this week I feel as if I've been so lazy. I woke up this morning not feeling the best, and i'm worried about coming to work/volunter with anything mild knowing that just last week two of the paients passed away because of a fever. I didn't want to come and risk their health because of my own health. So this morning when I woke up I was in differences about whether to go or not, I figured... maybe i'll just sleep it out and by the afternoon I'll make it to the afternoon shift instead. So I slept in and had breakfast at Tirupati; I had rice porage. Afterwards I called Caitlin Stone knowing that she's preparing to leave to Kolkata in a day or so... which means it won't be long for me until she arrives... I'm sooo excited! Then I got to talk to Sara for a bit and had went to Tirupati and ordered veg. noodles to go. I bought a 2 litter of 7up, to lower my fever if i had one, which seems to be pretty mild and I can feel it at times. But after lunch I got really tired and ended sleeping instead of going to my afternoon shift. I feel asleep from 1pm till 7:35pm... MID DAY! I couldn't believe it! I think I would of slept even longer but I made myself get out of bed to get some dinner. I don't know what's up with me, but I think it's due to weather changes that i feel so off. I know there are several of the volunteers in my hotel that are feeling the same way i am; or worst. So I'm just going to wait it off/sleep it off.
I had dinner at JoJo's again today and got some fried momo's.... I don't think anything fried was the best option for me today but it was good. I got a ginger/lemon/honey tea which was freak'n amazing! i don't think i've ever had a tea so great in my life. I loved it, and it just hit the spot for me. I sat for an hour or so at Jojo with one of my roommate, Brendan (he's from Ireland). When I finally left Jojo's I figured I should do a little something before I head back to the Paragon and sleep AGAIN! So... I figured, maybe I'll blog.
On my way over to the internet cafe there were two European girls at the end of an alley, helping a begger that we often see on Sudder. He seemed sick and was laying in the corner of the alley. I was walking about 100ft back from a group of 8 Indian guys. They saw the two volunteers and walked over to the corner, corning them in yelling and cheering something. Either way... it didn't look very good to me. I noticed one of the girl was really shocked/nervous about 8 guys surrounding them and signaled for them to leave them alone, so i hussled on over. I got into the center of the corner between the two volunteer and begger and the guys that surrounded them, standing right in front of the guy that was yelling the loudest and stared him down. "What's the problem here, boys?" I asked him with an absolute blank stare (I know some of you have seen my pissed-off face, but it has absolutely no expression and it's all within the eyes). "No problem" he answered as he tired to smile it off. Acouple of the other guys that were with him chuckling at him and I only turned to stare back at them to silence their giggles. "No problem, no problem" he said again, he patted my arm. I looked over at where he was holding my arm and he quickly let go. I heard a little murmuring and soon after the guys dispersed from the corner and quickly walked down the alley. The two girls that was there, looked extremely relieved and got up and said thankyou and went back towards their hotel. I went on in the same direction to the internet cafe, which happened to be in the same directions as the group of guys.
I don't know what it is but it pisses me off when I hear/see how the white skinned girls get looked at or talked to here. I know a lot of it has to do with the horrible media that is protraying the western civilization and europeans; I see it everywhere here... and if you thought the US is bad for portraying sex in media... here it portrays the same but of course it's with the American girls or European girls. It really protrays girls as being "easy" and an object of gratification, but to me that doesn't it cut it as an excuse. I know all these men here know they can't treat the women in their culture like that, but they just see what's on tv and think it's okay in treating europeans or westerns girls like how they see. Needless to say, I take it offensively and personanlly whenever i see it around me. I take everyone of these volunteers as my own sibblings... and I don't know if any of you know how protective I am with my younger sisters, but yes... it's not pretty.

Anyways, i didn't do much today besides sleep and I didn't think i had anything to write about... until i was walking towards the internet to blog and... i guess that's your story for the day. Anyways... keep me and my health in your prayers; I really want to be able to return to work at Daya Dan tomorrow. I feel really useless being here and feeling so tired on and off this week and not being able to work at Daya Dan. I really miss the children and I know that the sisters asked one of the other volunteers about me today. So hopefully I feel good and going tomorrow. I actually feel perfectly fine to do hard labor, I'm just afraid anything mild can relay over to the patient and that worries me more. So for all those who may be worried about me.... (Mom/Sara); quit your worrying.

thursday

2007-07-04T22:33:00.000-07:00

Last night was extremely eventful!
We just went around sudder and invited all the volunteers to my hotel (Paragon) for a 4th of july celebration. the party was set for 9pm... and when it struck 9, not a single person was there. I felt sad because... it was 4th of July and everything was so boring. But within minutes the party got bigger and bigger... and bigger. Everybody brought food and we had plenty of it for everyone. There was about 100- people there. It was absolutely amazing. One of my friend bought 3 live chickens and had Kissore (the wonderful man at the Tariupati fastfood stand) cook it for us; with this yummy Bhrata chicken, we also brought tortias for it. There were several bags of chips, bottles of sodas (orange fanta, pepsi, coke, spirte), vodak and plenty of beer. We had pineapple, chocolate and deliciuos momos. It was an amazing party. There were some people from the hotel next door (hotel Maria) looking over from the balacony and we kept on inviting more and more people over. By the time it was 10:30 our courtyard in front of my bedroom was packed! Everyone was socializing and just having a great time. Then... it began to rain. Yes yes... it's the season here in India for plenty of it. But to my suprise, nobody cared. We all stood around in the rain and continued to hang out and talk. We had people all over the world hanging out having fun; from France, Germany, Austria, Australia, Spain, Mexico, Korea, Japan, China, and of course the celebration for the US. (i'm sure i'm leaving out several countries). Around midnight the party was still going, everyone was done eating and it was time for entertainment. And of course... on a fourth of July part we can't just have any entertainment but something that lights up the night. We couldn't find a place where they sold fireworks but we did have some amazing friends that could do some firedancing! And for surely enough we had the most amazing fire dancers. Twirling these chains with a ball of fire at the end in the most extravgant manner. It was so beautiful to watch in the night although it was pouring rain. So lady and gentlemen.... that's how we celebrate 4th of july here in India!

Well as for today, it's a thursday which means all the volunteers are stuck inside because the various MC sites have the volunteers day off because it's the sister's prayer day. So I'm not too sure what i'll end up doing today. There's poweroutage at many of the local internet shops, sadly it's the shops that have all the international phone calls connected to the internet so... I guess today will be a reading and writing day for me. which is good, since I haven't had the opportunity to do much of it. Maybe i'll write more later but till than! take care and God bless. I hope you guys all had an amazing 4th of July. I miss it all and if you have an amazing 4th of July story please email it to me... i'd love to hear. The last time around 4th of July me and acouple of the Xmen caught the driveway on fire, and there was black smoke sky high... so if you have any exciting stories like that be sure to swing it my way. Well I hope all was safe and fun!

4th of July

2007-07-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

Hey hey, Happy fourth of July! I'm over here in India and I almost forgot that today was a big US celebration. Well, there's not much going on for me today... I'm feeling a little under the weather but it's nothing to be too worried about. I think it was because I was walking around in the rain all day yesterday and the hood on my coat was really useless and my hair was wet all day... I woke up feeling sick so i slept in. I finally got going and am feeling better, I'll just make sure i get a lot of rest and fluids. The typical thing you'd here from a mom or a girlfriend.... I'll be sure to do. So, no worries mama; i'm fine. I dont' know what I'll end up doing tonight. I know a couple of my american volunteer friends and I were talking about celebrating 4th of July tonight... go find a place to have a burger and fries... and maybe go do something americanized. I dont' know if we'll find fireworks. I heard last 4th of July some Americans put on a really good firework show but i don't know if that'll happen this year. Anyways, I'm going to cut this blog short so i can go take a nap. Take care and God bless!

MONSOON

2007-07-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

I set my alarm this morning at 5:10... when I awoke it was pouring rain outside, so i figured... maybe i'll sleep in a little and see if it clears up. 5:30 I woke up and looked outside and the water was about calf-high water. I figured maybe today I'll miss mass and take the metro straight to Daya Dan... I woke up later at 6:30 and the water was now knee-high. The bottom hostel floor was flooded up to the door (which is raised... there's about 3 steps before you enter into the bottom floor's room.) I heard the metro was closed and figured today was another day off. All the volunteers I saw in the hotel room felt the same. Honestly, I felt kind of bad because yesterday I wasn't there in the morning and today I wasn't going either. I had a slow morning getting going and decided ... I'll end up getting wet anyways, so why not roam the streets. I went to go find a internet cafe around 9:30 this morning and many were closed but I found one open. It was so excited walking through the monsoon water but at the same time the most disgusting thing. There was garbage, poop, dead rats and all sorts of stuff floating in the water, and you had to brush by a lot of them while trudding through the water. I ended up eating at JoJo's for lunch and dinner (the closest place to my hostel). After lunch i was already wet walking from place to place so and i wanted to make it over to Mother house because i felt so lazy and useless today. So I walked through the streets that were flooded with all sorts of crap towards the mother house. I took the long way around (staying on the main streets) because I knew my usual route lead me by the dump, the cows, the slaughter house, and all sorts of junk in the water so I decided to walk around it all... it took about 30 minutes to get there and I was drenched by the time I reached Mother House. I meet up with Sr Karina along with about 10 other volunteers for a bible study/catechists class. Before I sister came I was roaming the room and stumbled across two book shevles full of books... opening it up I saw the best collections of catholic books I've ever seen. Scott Hahn's books, St loui Demontford, The dairy of St Faustina, Fulton Sheen, Immitation of Christ....the list goes on and on and every book i picked up I had the biggest grin on my face. I recommend to my friend Mazie; Rome Sweet Home because I thought she'd enjoy that and Sr Karina came by and was really excited that we were holding that book... so Mazie took it back to read, I barrowed "the World's First Love" by Fulton Sheen and was so excited I found it there because I was meaning to bring it.
Our bible study was amazing! We started off writing out some questions so sister can go through them for next week or so. And than there was a volunteer, Justin, that was with us that wasnt a Catholic and he had some of the most wonderful questions about the faith. The foundation of the Church and the Early Fathers, and on scripture/tradition. It was really wonderful and I was able to help explain somethings also. The teachings of Theology of the Body really help me explain a lot of things... such as the convanet (Jesus and mary), talked about apostolic sucession, and the fall of man. We brought up reconciliation when we were digging through Genesis 3, and Sister gave me the most beautiful examination of concious that we should reflect before reconciliation. And it was the questions that God asked Adam and Eve in chapter 3... when he came that evening and they were hidding. "Where are you?" "Who have you listened to" and "What are you doing?", I really connected with this and realize this is a way i need to prepare myself every night, since I do not know when the time will come, and also before every reconciliation... to recall where I'm at in life, where is my relationship with Christ at, to call out my deceptions, the faults i've bought into, and then recall my offenses against our lord. What a beautiful way to reflect our relationship with Christ.
Our study went a little late and Sr. Karina had to be at prayers but it was so fruitful and amazing that when she said, I'll see you next tuesday at four... I poutted. She looked over and said "do you guys want to have it more than once a week". Gleefully we all nooded! So Saturdays and Tuesdays at 4 are our bible study time! We're so blessed with Sr. Karina and many other MC sisters that give of their time to help us grow closer to Christ.
When Bible study was finished it was half an hour till adoration so I stayed around because I wanted to attend but didn't want to have to walk back to sudder than back to Mother house. Adoration was beautiful like always. During adoration lightening and thunder lit up the sky. And heavy rain come pouring down. We celebrated St. Thomas's feast day, a patron st of India. And apparently from what I heard from the MCsisters is that every year on his feast day it rains in Kolkata.
Walking home from Mother House at 8:30pm was quite the experience. I was dark out, pouring rain and water was knee-high. I had on a coat that got drenched with water and absolutely useless after 10 minutes in the rain. The sky would flash compeletly white and was followed by the rolling of thunder clashes, that rumbled my chest. I was terrified that lightening was going to hit the ground that was already flooded and that was I walking through and prayed all the way back towards sudder.
... Well I'm here safe, and had my dinner and now blogging. I really hope I'll be able to go to Daya Dan tomorrow. I hope the Metro is open, if not I'll need to try to take a taxi from Sudder or go to Mother House than take a bus and rickshaw through the water. yeah... it's amazing that the cars are still running and the manrickshaw/autorickshaw still runs through this deep water.

Well, the excitment starts! And it'll be a very inviting welcome for caitlin when she arrives in a couple of days but I'll be sure to pick her up from the airport. I also think that it'll die down within the next 5 days. I guess we'll just wait and see. Caitlin... no worries, it's going to be freak'n awesome here!

Tuan nguyen

Let our struggles and burdens be a way we become united in the passion of Christ.

Jesus truly present

2007-07-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

My Lord is truly beautiful... and fully presences in the Holy Eucharist. Pray with trust in our Lord and he will give you comfort and resolution. Believe with your heart and you shall recieve. Today was a day that i will never forget. I woke up early to attend mass at 6. After mass I went to breakfast with the volunteer like usual but yesterrday Sr. Drucsilla asked if I wanted to talk tomorrow during/after breakfast. She saw right through me yesterday and knew my heart was burden. When all the volunteers left to go off to their assinged sites, I sat with Sister and talked about vocation, relationships, and many other things that I carried as a cross. She told me, "today, you will take the morning off... I want you to spend as much time with Jesus in prayer and he will give you an answer." I came upstair into an empty chapel with the tabernacle centered and the statue of our Blessed Mother to the right and I began to pray. An hour after the novist came in (in groups of 9-15; since there are almost 50-100 of them) they each spent an hour in adoration and did rotations... I had a hard time trying to hear God in my prayer and continued to pray.... "Jesus come... Mary guide me to your Son..." It's so hard to focus when the Mother House is right next to one of the busiest streets in town. Cars, horn, and people shouting started out distracting me but soon it faded, and I was alone with Christ in the blessed Sacrament of the Altar; The Eucharist. I forgot I was there before the Novist and sisters and began to pray and pray; for direction, for trust, and to be more closely united to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. All i've seen before is the foolishness of my desire, the desire of worldly things; of the impulses of the flesh but the height of wisdom is to set your goal on heaven by not being bound to worldly desire... the materialistic things we'll soon loose and the value of it looses it's value; the desire to act on the impluse of our flesh only counterfiets what God has waiting for us; whether it's marriage or relgious/holy order. No human flesh or relationship can be our ultimate end but the flesh and blood of etneral life offered at the crucifiction and in the Eucharist will bring true eternal life for our soul. Only through Christ may any relationship be perfected. I must love Jesus above and before all things to be able to love fully and reciprocate the love to others. I am all His and any relationship only helps point me to my ultimate end. I prayed and prayed... and when I was just getting ready to really begin and ask for intentions and signs. The novist had finished their whole session. I just spent 5 hours in adoration and it felt like minutes. I was able to pray for intercession from our Blessed Virgin Mary and did all 4 mysteries of the rosary. May soul rejoiced in God my saviour and i was illuminating with great gratitude of the Love shown by Christ on Calvary. Sr. Druscilla asked me to come back downstair so we could talk some more to hear where I've come in prayers. I won't say much but God has given me the guidance in my meditation.
We will always fall, whether it's in selfishness, relationships, hurting others or not being an image of a true disciple of Christ. But we must remember the station of the Cross... and become an imitation of Christ and a servant like our Blessed Virgin Mary. Christ himself had to carry a cross; of suffering but of great love. He fell numberous times on his climb to calvary, but the glory is that he got back up every time. We must image this... for we are doomed to fall while carry our cross and burdens if Christ himself fell, but we must get back up to walk towards the foot of the cross on Calvary, towards redemption and salvation. God knows the plans for our lives... we must trust that where we're at is where God wants us... and fully heartedly pursue it as God's plan, if it's not His plan he will direct us otherwise. Whatever God has created no man can break. So let us trust in his plan and begin to live and serve everyone with Love.

This morning was one of the greatest time in my life; I got to spend hours in adoration and talk to Sister Drucsilla for a while and than return to adoration and than spend some time at Mother's Tomb. What more could I ask for... but that's exactly it. When you have love with you, you must act and God will put situations in your life so you will. I was headed back towads sudder street to get some lunch; i decided to help out the families rather than the popular resturants that I went to and bought from some sketchy store outside of the houses on the street. I bought something called Samosa and it was WHOOOOO yummy! they were a ruppee each... so what... 2 cents if even? So i paid 50% tip on the Samosa I bought. I got to sudder and I recieved some bad news. (I missed my morning session at Daya Dan... and had to find out during lunch)... Lucy (i don't know if i've mentioned her yet), but she's been in the hospital for 5 days since Sonu died. She also had a high fever and after Sonu, we couldn't risk anything. But today my friend Rosa came and told me Lucy died last night in the hospital. Lucy.... at age 9, also with extreme disability. I had spent time before helping her with physical therapy and bathing her. And couldn't believe what i heard. This was a shock for many of the volunteer, masis, and sisters.... two beautiful souls in one week. I rushed over to metro after recieve the news and got to Daya Dan as quick as I can. Mass was being held for her at 2:30 and i arrived just in time. Jesus truly present in the Eucharist and there he was before our beloved departed soul of Lucy. She laid not in a tomb but in exposition on a platform not to far from the Altar... facing the altar as if she was attending her last mass with us all. She laid there beautifull, clothed in the fines dress, with a ribbion in her hair and flowers covered her all around. At the end of mass I had the opportunity to come and say my final farewell. Nothing moved me more than love, I bowed before her body and rised in tears, placing my hand on her forehead I blessed her with the sign of the cross and the words that came out from me was "I love you Lucy". My soul rejoiced for her union with Christ but mourn the lost of a beloved friend. I bent over her body and kissed her forehead and tears came strolling down my face. "In the heaven there shall be no more tears" the pains of the world and suffering Lucy endured was finally brought to peace with Christ, as she spent her years united in Christ suffering already. My tears turned into tears of joy as I realized that eternal life has begun for her, and I smiled with tears running down my face.
After mass lightening and thunder struck and heavy rain began to pour... I had the opportunity to head back to sudder but decided I needed to go to the cemetary and help bury Lucy's body. Me and 11 other volunteers headed over in two taxi, the ride was about 30 minutes from Daya Dan to a Cemetary around Kalighat. When we arrived there were some delima about a signed signature that needed to be on a form. So there was an hour or more of a delay. By the time the grave was digged and everything was ready it was dark out, I was asked to be one of the 4 to carry her tomb. I carried it in disbelief but with great love, praying the whole way towards her grave site. We did a prayer over her tomb and than I was asked to help lower her into her grave and my heart was filled with much love as I lowered her down. I could not do anything on my own but only through the grace of God may he use me to be his instrument of peace and love. And my heart was filled with love. The sisters gave me miraculous medals to throw into the grave along with her tomb, it was blessed, and than i helped bury the tomb with my hands from the dirt the mounted beside it. The sisters gave me insences to place on the mound of dirt once her tomb was covered, and we layed flowers all over the mound. And covered illuminated her sites with candles as we sang farewell blessings, than the sisters and masis sang a song in Bangali.
This was truly a blessing in my life to be a part of such an honoring role in the life of Lucy. I was able to visit Sonu's tomb and pray for his soul also and my day have been fully blessed with Christ with me always. Just trust and serve! There is much we don't know but faith is our answer. Love selflessly and you will be repaid abundantly through sharing the love and joy of Christ
The day finally came to an end around 8:30pm and I was headed back towards sudder street to finally get some dinner. Oh, by the way... I got to ride with the MC sisters in the Missionarity of Charity ambulance bus/van. It was pretty neat. Kolkata traffic is ridiculous though. And people honk for no reason.... you have a full on traffic jam but people still insist on honking and holding down their horn. It's weird/annoying. There's lanes in the road but nobody ever uses them. Anyways... thankyou everyone for your prayers. I don't know who all was praying but today was a total 180 for me! Thanks thanks and rest in God's love.

Nabo Jibon

2007-07-01T02:19:00.000-07:00

yesterday evening I had a lady stop me and ask for milk for her baby... after joking around with her for a bit (in Bangali!!!) I got her to admit that the child wasn't even hers. The child was dressed in girls clothing to make him seem more adorable for more begging... it's pretty sad that a lot of these beggers spend their life begging. I told her she couuld easily get a job because she speaks english well. But the lifestyle really isn't for her. The begging money is spent like any money of any occupation. A child I saw o n the street that was begging was bragging at me while we're in the cinemas because they got box seats..., it's rather funny or maybe not how we often think that we're helping but as the sister say it may cause them to be dependant on this lifestyle of begging and dishonesty. Anyways... I ended up not buying her milk in fear she was going to resale it but I told her I'll be her and her children dinner if they joined me.. so we sat and talked over dinner. i'm not sure if I did the right thing but she was pretty honest with me afterwards that a lot of it was an act.
As for today, it's been a really off day for me. Although, I went to bed early last night but I didn't want to get out of bed this morning and I missed morning mass because although i set the time of my alarm I forgot to turned it on, (there's still mass this afternoon at St. Mary's luckily). Well, I finally managed to get out at 7:10 to catch my bus to Nabo Jibon (where the MC brothers stay). It was a 30 minutes bus ride; we crossed one of the largest bridge in India.. i forget it's name. Nabo Jibon was amazing, it was for the street children to come in and have fun on Sunday. Today what it my day consisted of was hanging out with the kids and letting them climb all over me, and kicking their butts at arm wrestling. The kids loved me because they were so fascinated that I had braccess. I ended up playing soccer with the kids on this flat mud courtyard. It was extremely dirty, covered with moss, Doggy Caca, and plenty of mud spots. We played barefeet and I was a king because i scored 6 points of the team. The kids are really skilled as the volunteered often fell on the asses on this slippery field. I'm not sure if I'm homesick or what... but my heart wasn't fully there today and I kept trying to give more but was so lazy and in dazed. I ended up going upstairs and asking the MC Brothers if I could take time to pray. I spent a long while in prayer and still more to come. Returning for my prayer break the children were getting ready for lunch. It was the most adorable thing ever! They all sat lined up in two lines in the courtyard and we went around giving them, rice, cury, an egg, and water. It was sooo great seeing them all happy. After the meal the kids left and the volunteers stayed to have lunch with the MC Brothers. It was two of the brothers birthday and so there were two cakes and two candles... we sang happy birthday and did some blessings. After my meal I had the most amazing mango ever... in America, it doesn't even come close to compare. Well, the day is half way done but there's still much for me to do. I'm going to head back to the Mother House and do a couple hours of prayers and adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament and Mother's Tomb and than mass at 6. For the remaining of the night... i'm not sure, maybe hit the hay early. I just feel so drained all day from the moment i woke. Keep me in your prayers. I'm excited for Caitlin to come next week, because it kind of sucks to be a lone traveller when you're in a funk and just want to mellow out and talk but rather you go to the internet cafe to write on a blog or email (no offense). Anyways I'm out... take it easy! God bless and thankyou so much for all your support and prayers!

Tuan

May God give me the strength to trust.

Children loves music

2007-06-30T02:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening my gas from Ireland at the Salvation Army decided to take me out to have some fun, since my friend Donna knew I was down about Sonu yesterday. I took a nap yesterday afternoon so I knew i'd be able to stay up at least till 10pm. So what did we do?.... movie theater! We went to go see Die Hard 4! and it was amazing! The movie was entertaining, but i thinking it was more entertaining that I was at a movie theater in India. They were selling coffee, potato chips, coke, and all sorts of things at the movie theater. There was even a bar at the movie theater. My friend got me some coffee and it was .. yummy! The place is called Brista, right next to the cinema. The movie was fun to watch because it was so neat how the people in India reacted in the movie theater. (I can also see why they think white skin people are "easy" because probably by the media ... all that is protrayed is sexuality rather than dignity) but besides that factor, it was sooo funny to be in a theater with a whole bunch of locals. They would clap and cheer when something exciting happens and everytime they did I couldn't help but laugh. It totally made it for me.
Today I woke up in time for mass at Mother House, i was running a little late because i was suppose to meet a friend to walk to Mother house... that never woke up; so I ended up taking a taxi with the French to Mother House because they were running late and 3 of the guys were altar serving.
Daya Dan today was different because I worked downstair more today. Fr. Jesu-Bondu (in hindi/bangali it means Fr. Jesus is my friend), he was leaving today and he's been the music minstry man for the children. He's a fransican and pretty hardcore. Very strict with the kids but they love him and respect him. During the morning I practiced some songs with Mongol, an orphan that is extremely skinny and too weak to stand, he's in a wheel chair but he's extremely smart. He has no learning disabilities and loves music. I had him come help me with teaching the children the songs today. It's so amazing to watch the children sing. Or count, or say the ABC. It's great!
Afterwards I helped Bashker with some physcial therapy. He's improving a lot in the sense he's not crying about it anymore. He use to cry nonstop when he has to do anything that was trying to help him gain leg muscles (he's pretty lazy... he just likes to lay down or cuddled with... which is very tempting for me). The physical therapist comes in every saturday and was impressed that he was crying when i was working with him, I told them that he's been doing pretty well the past few days and I think we all agreed. Honestly, Bashker is the cutest little 3 year old ever! he's soooooooooooo incredibly studly. When I hold him, I litterally can hold him by a hand. He just throws himself over my shoulders and cling on. And he for surely do cling on... he has such a strong grip and I swear, he's digging finger marks into my skin, tearing out my ears, and pulling out my hair. Strong little guy and sooooooo adorable!
Instead of feeding today I stayed with Angeli. She's sick in her crib and it breaks my heart to see her like so. Already, she's the skinniest thing ever.. tiny little gal, but it just moves me when i see all these tubes, IV or whatever you call them connected to her and she just lay emotionlessly. I sat by her bed and played to her on the guitar and sang. Songs after songs, i sat there and comforted her. And she would turn her head to look at me. As I was singing, we locked eyes, and I stared into her deep brown eyes trying to convey her that I love her... we stayed staring at each other for several long minutes passing a silent message of love. I finished singing/playing the song but we still sat gazing at each other and I knew that she knew that she was loved. I got up and walked out of the room and her head followed me out and I turned back and stood staring back into her eyes at the doorway. God puts so many precious moments in our lives, we just need to slow down to see them. Or have the eyes of a child to recognize them.
On the way home from Daya Dan the volunteers and I passed an old man with his head slit open gushing with blood. It was far more than what we can handle with some gauzes/bandage or ointment, so we got him to the hospital to get him stichted up and paid for the fee, i didn't get to stay to see the final outcome of him getting stiched, i had to get back in time to meet Abani at 1. Abani is a school teacher for a group of 40 plus students in a small village 3 hours away from Kolkata by train. I've been learning Hindi and Bangali from him. Which is pretty exciting. So far I've only learned some basics, but the locals are pretty impressed with the slightest hindi/bangali words coming from a foreigner.
Rushing back to meet Abani, I had some delay because of my metro ticket. It wasn't scanning and I bought a ticket card with 12 rides and I've only used it for 2, so i had to get it refunded. Needless to say... it made me late by 7 minutes to meet Abani, and when i arrived he wasn't there. I'm not sure if he ever showed up or not... but he wasn't there. Well, tomorrow I think I'll be able to work alongside the brothers of Charity and maybe able to work with street children. So i'll be sure to fill you guys all on if it happens.
Thankyou for spending time reading and keeping in touch with me. It means a lot to me. Sorry for all those that want to see more pictures. I haven't been taking many pictures, you're not really allowed to take pictures at these various homes because, key word, they're someone homes... and it's not a musseum. The same goes with the Mother House. Today I did get to witness something absolutely beautiful and captivating after mass this morning. When I came out of mass (we have mass on the second floor of the Mother House), there were all the novist (probably about 100+) they all gathered in the courtyard and sang to a mother that was adopting one of the orphans. It was sooo beautiful! I really wish i was able to take a picture of all these novist and MC sisters or even better... record it on my video camera. Well, i guess that just means everyone who's reading my blog just need to make their way over to Kolkata, India and see it for themself. Alrighty, take care and God bless. May we be a light of Christ to all those we encounter!

Tuan Nguyen

Beloved, Sonu

2007-06-29T02:02:00.000-07:00

Last night I ended up not going out to the movies... twice have I tried to go out to relax and both times didn't follow through, but no problem. We found out the movie started at 5:30 and at the time it was already 5:15... plus we needed time to get there. Instead my friend Kiki took me out and showed me the singing lights. Which is absolutley beautiful. It's pretty much a fountain show set to music and colored lights but still it was just so relaxing. It's in the middle of Kolkata and right next to Victoria's momument which is sooo beautiful, I must go and check out Victoria when Caitlin, Briana or Corina gets here. It's quite a sight. I've been getting into many theological discussions here in Kolkata. Whether it's with the MC sisters, the volunteers, or sometimes the locals. Either way it's been spiritually fruitful, many times I don't believe it's anything I can do or say... but i must be a channel for God's words be used through me.
I told Sr Capita on wednesady that I was going to try to make mass at 6am at Daya Dan Friday morning; which meant I had to be up before 5 and find a ride or way to get over to Daya Dan. I was standing in front of Mother House by 5:30.... 30 minutes later, still no bus that was headed towards Manicula. I really should of taken the metro, I don't know what I was thinking. Sadly, it was too late to try to make it to mass at Daya Dan so I went to mass at the Mother House and had breakfast with the volunteers.
On the way to Daya Dan I recieved some news.I wasn't sure what to believe; but thinking of the possibility and realizing that none of the volunteer here would lie to me about this... I begin to tear up on the bus. Before, my tears has always been tears of joy; smiling contagiously at the blessed sacrament at Mass, adoration and praying at Mother's tomb. But today... my tears struck me with sorrow. As I fought to hold it back, wiping tears from my eyes and turning my head facing the window of the bus. When I arrived at Daya Dan I went straight to the cribs where Sonu would be. When I entered the room, Mala (one of the Masis), came and told me that Sonu passed away minutes after I left on Wednesday. Last wednesday while I was feeding him, he was extremely sick with a very high fever. It didn't even cross my mind that this may be his last day. But with many difficulities and poor immune system, something as simple for us as a fever may be as costly for those with such circumstance. I took a deep breath and tried to go on with my work. Mala, along with the other Masis and MC sisters, knew how much I loved Sonu and knew that it was important to let me know. I was silent and the knew how I felt. No tears... but i was fighting it. My worldly view of life was selfish and I could't let it take over myself, especially letting it get in the way of the work of the Masis and MC sisters. Life is beautiful and death is even more beautiful when you know that a life with Christ awaits after death. When you fought a good battle all your life, for 13 years, unable to speak, walk, sit up on your own, feed yourself, move anything besides your head and arms, You've fought your battle and hung in so others may learn how to love. You've finsihed the race. I do not doubt the Sonu spent his purgatory here on earth. And I do believe that through our suffering we are united to Christ's passion on the crucifix.
Everything else during the day seem dazed... i helped with physical therapy for 6 month old Bashker, and help with music for the children downstairs... but i had a part of me die to sorrow. I'm learning how to view death as being beautiful, but my selfishness, and blindness to a greater plan leaves me broken in sadness. When lunch came around, I came into the room with those children with deformity and servere mental difficulties, one of the volunteers asked me "where's sonu, is he sick? I haven't seen him all day." I was couldn't help but leave the room, going outside on the balcony to recollect myself. Tears came easily but by the grace of God, I had the strength soon to come back and continue loving and feeding others that needs the same attention and love. There is much love that needs to be given in the world. If we have great love of God with us, and do not put that love into action our life is empty. If we keep love to ourself, we have nothing to gain but everything to lose. Love is eternal and connects us with those eternally. Love is our light to those who live in darkness. There's not a better time than now for me to pray to our Blessed Virgin Mary, for she was there at the foot of the cross for our Lord when he suffered willingly motivated by love; love for the world. Life is beautiful, and never is about how long you live but truly the lives you touch and how you live it. Sonu have touched my life profoundly in the short time i've known him. Teaching me how to love, and how to be humble. Now teaching me the beauty of life and life after death. I'm really sorry that i can't write more... because the more i write, the more I tear up. And I'm fighting it hard as I'm sittig here at the Internet cafe. So please pray for the our beloved Sonu, that his soul may rest finally in the peace and love of Christ. Pray for the MC sisters, Masis, and volunteers that our work will always be for God and that we may always remember that God has the greater plan. I love you all, and God bless your heart.

day off

2007-06-28T03:36:00.000-07:00

It's a thursday, which means its a day off for the volunteers at the various sites around Kolkata, India. Thursdays are the MC sisters day of prayer and so it's also an opportunity for volunteers to catch up on sleep and call home and all that jazz. So... i utilized the day accordingly. I slept in this morning, got breakfast, made some calls, wrote, had lunch and made some more calls. It's pretty chilled today, not too much going on at all.
Yesterday I met Craig and Erica, brothers and sisters from the states. Craig is the one I mentioned earlier in my blog that is a high school teacher. Anyways, I ran into them again because they had their orientation and i came 2 hours early before adoration to catch some time to pray in front of Mother's tomb and do some adoration on my own (when you do adoration at the given time you only get about...20 minutes or so of your own quiet time). anyways I invited them to come to adoration at 6 and I could show them around and have dinner together. 6 came around and they both joined for adoration and stayed the whole hour. It amazes me how united we are to any denomination through prayers. They werent catholic but the power of prayers and praise speaks volumes and they were able to stay for benidiction, liturgy of the hour, the rosary, and some quiet time. Walking back towards sudder st we went to JoJo's for dinner (i'm growing quiet fond of JoJo's because i know the servers and owner their by name and they know me by name as well) but we just sat and talked about God over dinner. which was pretty amazing. Because whether they werent catholic and i was, we all agreed of the Love of God for us, his ultimate sacrifice and example of love and also our call to love on another as he did, especially in the poorest of the poor. God is good all the time.
Today coming back from breakfast i was writing a letter and the coolest thing happen (it's been happening often but I keep forgeting to write about it) but... it would be really chilled wheather and then suddenly the cloud would get darker and you get this huge gust of wind. Clothes would be flying off the clothesline and then an outpouring of water from the cloud. It's intense! It's like bucketsize raindrops...that's a bit of an exageration but still it was pretty cool. No more than a minute and the street gutter is flooding and various parts are beginnig to flood. But Monsoon season still has not truly hit. The rain only last for about 5 minutes and then it clears up in seconds and become humid again.
Today I had some good veg. noodles at this random fastfood stand on sudder... I think it's called Tirupati. Anyways it was amazing! i had some kimchi and pancake from there also. Yummy. It looks extremly sketch but it's delicious. Ive ate from worst place, on the way to Mother's House; which I would never recommend any tourist to eat at but there's some things that you just gotta try. ... like the swatty potty without TP, haha.
Well there are many things that are going extremely great for me here, and I'm loving the life in India Kolkata. It's not as bad as I thought it'd be but I truly believe that i would not be able to do the work or live this life style if I wasn't able to attend mass daily or go to adoration. For all those that are traveling to visit the Mother House, I strongly recommend daily mass and adoration... if not both one or the other... or visiting Mother's tomb. It the craziness of India the Mother house is so peaceful, CLEAN, spacy and prayerful! Being in India you must always remember to take time to take care of yourself. And that doesn't only mean feeding yourself well, keeping good health, but spiritually ... otherwise you can easily loose your sanity getting so frustrated with things. I believe the hardest part of being in India is the people I leave back at Home in the States. Whether wishing they can be with me sharing and creating memories, talking at the end of the day about all that went on, or just goofing off having fun... i truly love and miss my beloved ones and can't ever express it signficantly enough when I'm away. So thankyou all for your love and support and letting me know that i'm loved also. You have my love and I wish i can convey it somehow. (YUCA- sunshine).
Well it's nearing dinner time so i'm going to meet up some friends and was invited to catch a movie... an english movie? hahaha... sweet. It's nice sometime when everything around you is in a differently language or in a strong accent, to just kick back and watch a movie so I think i'll do that tonight.

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.
For we know partially and we prophesy partially,
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.
At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

~1 corinthians 13:1-13~

PRAYER:
Teach me to live by your example of love. For it is in giving that we recieve your love and dying to ourself that we may rise to eternal life with you. Help me give all of me to you through the service of love, charity, and advocating peace to all I meet. May I learn to be humble in my work and in all things as you humbling become one with your creation and perfected what it means to love. Love is no longer selfish because of your love. All love is a work of God's kingdom. May I become a message of love; a pencil in the hands of God as Blessed Mother Teresa was to the world. Blessed Virgin Mary, I constantly flee to you since you are the Mother of Our Beloved Lord. No more than human but lived out what it meant to be truly holy; may you pray for me to the Lord our God.

Music to sooth the soul.

2007-06-27T02:19:00.000-07:00

Last night after adoration I came back to the hotel and went straight to bed... I didn't have the opportunity to do my rosary at adoration yesterday because there was some type of prayer service at adoration but it was amazing... all the sisters and novist were there! It was beautiful! Anyways, i tried praying the rosary laying in bed (bad idea)... I fell asleep during my fourth mystery and remember waking up numerous times during the night to finish my 5th mystery actually I woke up twice this morning (sometime before 5 am) also attempting to finish my rosary… I finally finished sometime this morning. So the lesson of the day is; pray before I get tired. This morning surly was a pain in the ass to get out of bed. I was so tired for some reason. And I went to bed at 8pm, I tried to get up at 5:15 more mass at 6… but an hour later I finally got up and showered. Today I met two new volunteers that I helped show around to get to Daya Dan and help explain what was going on, because I knew it was so confusing for me the first day. Craig was a high school teacher in the States (teachs physics) and Erica. At Daya Dan today… I did the usual. Clean the crib, bathe, clothed and than physical therapy. Today, I worked with Angeli again… convinced that she’ll be standing on her own within 3 months or so. But today she put up a greater fight. As soon as I took her off her stroller she began to cry. She wouldn’t stop for a good half an hour. Everything I did would make her cry. But it wasn’t even crying; no tears, no real facial expression… she was just putting on her lazy act and sad to say, it was working. I was getting use to seeing her smile and laugh at me. I was also getting use to thinking that I was good at helping the kids but God surely humbled me today. She finally stop crying and I was able to help her stand but she would just collaspe over to one side and all limbs would become like jello. I couldn’t do anything to make her stand and she was extremely good at getting her way today. But… whatever, today was just not a leg exercise day for her. So I helped with trying to keep her attention. Snapping my fingers from side to side and trying to keep her looking. Sister Capita was in the room with me today and asked about my vocation… as many sisters here do. “Are you going to become MC Father or what?” haha. “… if God calls.” We sat talking about life, my relationship, God, religious/holy orders, and about MC Father/Brothers. She said she could arrange a night of Come and See with the MC Father where I can stay with them for a night. Staying with the MC Father… haha, sweet. I don’t know if it’ll follow through but whatever.
Today they asked me to come downstair and help out with music. Of course… someone found out I played the guitar and ratted me in. I help set up the mic since the Father that usually helped with music wasn’t here today. I taught the children “Yes Lord”… it was easy enough; the whole chorus consist of only two words. I also sang “this Little Light of Mine” and “The Hokipokie”. It was like the kids show and tell. Any of them can come up and lead and it was so beautiful to see them. I didn’t want to lead anything at all because watching these kids brighten up as soon as they got on the mic made me smile. The kids would sing a lot of kids songs but those that had mental challenge also came up and sang the tune of the songs they knew to the word “da”… and it was such a beautiful sight to see because they would get so happy to lead a group. Well the day ended at Daya Dan after another hard fedding session, I was feeding Sonu again and he was sick today, but somehow, once again I managed to be the last one to leave Daya Dan and had to get back to Sudder myself.
After yesteday's expereince I learned alot about Kolkata. From Mother House to Daya.. I must say to the Bus "Ma-nic-cula" then take a Rickshaw to Daya Dan, from Daya Dan to Mother House I say to the Rickshaw "Man-i-ca-la" than hop on Bus 202 towards Mother House, from Daya Dan to Sudder I must take a Rickshaw to "Girish Park" and get on the Metro to Park Street. If you can't tell, I'm pretty proud of figuring this all out now. Well, the first Rickshaw that came for me to head home told me 15 rupees to get to Girish Park/Metro… and I knew that was crap. So I waved him on and he was arguing something of gibberish. The next rickshaw came and told me 4 ruppees… and that’s what I always remembered paying so I hop on hoping I was headed towards the right direction this time. Yesterady when I said Girish park… I got off at the right spot but I was suppose to take a right on the street to get to the metro but ended up walking straight towards Bose Rd. Anyways I took a right today and… this and that; I got to the metro and made it back safe. I had lunch at a Sikh resturant that was really cheap, It costed me a little more than 1 US dollar for fried chicken cury, rice, a coke, and mango shake. I went out with a close friend Kiki that’s leaving in two weeks. And we got to talk about faith. It was really nice for me to finally just talk (deep) and no surface talk (“hi… my name is.. your name is… where you from… where are you working… how long are you staying… etc”). Of course knowing me, we first talked about Theology of the Body. God’s plan for human sexuality. Than we talked about the Eucharist, Foundation of the Church/Peter, Transubstansiation, Apostolic Sucession and all that good stuff. We came back to our hotel and talked a little more. I told her… go talk to Sister Corina because I obviously don’t do any justice to any sort of catheises.Well, the evening is starting and I want to make my ways over to catch adoration. Tomorrow is thursdsay and the volunteers don’t work on Thursdays, so I’ll probably make a couple phone calls to the States. Tuan
PS: Some reasons I haven’t been getting any comments on my blog and then suddenly today it showed comments on all my recent entries and it looked as if these comments have been written not long after I wrote my blog. So sorry if I didn’t get back to the comments. But just to let you know that it REALLY made my day and made me smile to see the comments and emails from everyone. It makes me feel connected to Home somehow. So thankyou for your thoughts and prayers. And just keeping in touch with me. And I’m sorry for having such a crapy blog. I’m not much for a journalist… or a writer. I pull the “English is my second language” card. Haha. God bless all. My all our work reveal God’s love!

Lost in Kolkata

2007-06-26T03:04:00.000-07:00

Last night was an eventful night. A huge group of volunteer went out for monday night salsa dancing at Park's Hotel. As I was walking sudder street/park street. I had my video camera running so i can bring back to show all. It was quite the sight to see. I had absolutely no clue where i was headed but was invited to come along- being a lonesome traveler... what the heck; I love dancing and partying so why not! The contrast being the rich and the poor was so prominent as I walked towards park street. It was absolutely ridiculous. It was late at night so many people were either out partying or getting ready for bed. And when I say bed, I really mean... sleeping on some newspaper along the sidewalk. People were sleeping on the street everywhere! Within 20 feet distances you would walk by at least 5 people sleeping. Wether it's on tables, benches, sidewalk, underneathe tables... you name it. I passed by a group of 4 individual; 3 of which were children under the age of 4. One of the child was a baby no more than 6 months old. Sleeping naked on the sidewalk on newspaper. In the States, this sight is a rare occasion and thousands would jump to help at the sight of such but here; eyes are turned away and it's accepted not only those around things such as this but also by the parents. Many of the parents send their children to beg and make a living in that way, and directed towards tourist especially (especially those that come to volunteer and "trying to serve") At orientation yesterday, the MC sisters addressed this issue; telling us that by giving we're actually promoting their lifestyle of begging and relying on tourist. It's not bettering off the economy and deffinately not the lives of those that we're "trying to help". You will always hear "my mother is sick, she needs money of medicine" or "baby needs milk". It is so hard for me sometimes but for all those that are traveling to India if you do decide to give... make sure you give bought items and not just money. And whether buying milk or food for those who beg... open the packet because i've seen them recieve the MOST expensive milk they asked for and go straight back into the store and sell it back to the store owner. Anyways, I got really side tracked; back to Salsa dancing and the contrast of this crazy city Kolkata. I arrived at Park's Hotel dressed in dirty volunteer clothes and was escorted in (because i was a tourist). This whole place was made of marble, there was air conditioning and servers everywhere, a bar and private bar... all that jazz. Well to keep things short... I felt out of place and didn't end up dancing that night. The volunteers go every monday for salsa dancing so i'm sure i'll go one of these days but I don't of many opportunities to also say happy birthday to Sara (yesterday, June 25th) and wanted to get back to Sudder Street before the international phone booth closed at 11pm. Sara... I miss you like crazy (wish you were able to experience this craziness with me... I love it here!)
Anyways, today was another interesting day (I swear, everyday has something crazy instored). At orientation yesterday I was assigned to help at Daya Dan for the remaining of my stay. I asked for Kalighat also... but sister said it might be too hard for 2 shifts in one day and I can do one month at Daya Dan and one at Kalighat. I may come back to her in a week or so and just tell her I'm taking on two shifts or visiting from time to time. I went to Kalighat last sunday and it was amazing (yes, Sean... I did get to attend mass- actually did the prayer of the faithful for mass this last sunday at Kalighat) and stayed for chicken cury at kalighat for lunch. So anyways, back to Daya Dan (sorry, i feel really disoriented today and I'm jumping from one sentances to another... maybe i'll rewrite this blog entry later); I got there and did the daily schedule... clean crib, bathe, clothed, and physical therapy. Today I worked for a long period of time in the physical therapy room; with one girl specifically. Her name was Angeli.
Angeli is three years old. Gorgious gal and has really skinny/weak legs and arms, she also have trouble paying attention/keeping focus. I started out putting the leg brace on her so she can build muscles practicing standing; i've seen them do this for her several times since i've been here. After awhile I thought, what the heck let's try something new. So I took off her leg brace, and did some leg and calves exerices. After doing so, I held vertically up, standing against the wall. Her legs were locking and then giving in colasping, but it did this over and over a couple of times and she seemed able to stand longer and longer. So I had Angeli stand straight up with her back against my leg as I was sitting and ... wasn't a problem. So i tried having her stand on her own with my hand as support on her bottom, pushing her foward everytime she tried to sit. And suprisingly she stayed standing. The volunteers in the room looked over and we all shared this moment of joy. I felt so proud of her and I'm convinced that within 2-3 months she will be able to stand on her own or against the wall on her own. Not only did I feel overwhelmed with joy but... i notice Angeli did too. Never have I seen her smile but as she stood there in the middle of the room with my hand proping her forward; she turned over looking towards me, grabbed my hair towards her, smiled and than the absolutely God moment for me, she laughed. She laughed 4 times intervals of 2 seconds. And everyone in the room was taken back. To hear Angeli laugh really made my day, to see her looking at me for several seconds as I talked to her made me smile, and to see her stand gave me much hope. Life is too short for me to miss the beauty that God shows each day before our eyes; in smiles, winks, tears, and laughter, you can find Jesus in disguise. God is among us always we just need to keep our eyes open to the message of love.
Once physical therapy was done I helped with feeding and it wasn't an easy task, but what's new. After lunch time for the kids the volunter's first session is done but I ended up staying back helping the children be put to sleep. I must have missed seeing all the volunteers leave. I was trying to get Angeli to stop crying and then singing the rest of the children in that room to sleep (which consisted of singing Ave Maria, and a long... Divine Mercy Chaplet). The Masis left that room and poked their heads in every now and then and smiled. I would hear them say something about me singing (can-ta-re) or something down that line is the word for singing in bangali and I would over hear them saying something and then seconds later someone would pop their head in and smile then leave. It made me feel really happy... once again, it's God's pat for me. When I left Daya i was the only volunteer there so I was headed back alone. I took a rickashaw to get to the metro but ... i guess i took the wrong one. You have to remember, i've only worked at daya dan twice. Both of which i just followed other volunteers. Once i came back with the group through walking from the rickashaw to the metro and the other time I had to take a rickashaw and a bus to get to hotel circular. Well..... I got lost. haha. Simple as that. I took a rickashaw for several blocks going straight. towards Bose Rd and sadly to say there diffinately isn't a metro station on Bose Rd. Instead I ended up walking for a hour and fourty minutes back towards Mother House than backtracking towards Sudder Street. I felt like an idoit but it was fun. I went under the huge bridge by the train station and it was a HUGE street market place under there. It was quite the sight. I remember seeing on one of the sidewalk, a magician and with a huge crowd around him. I saw goats, cows, horses, chicken, ducks and all sorts of random animals through wandering kolkata detour. Anyways, I got back safe on sudder, drenched in my sweat and incredibly hungry. I went over to Blue Sky resturant on sudder and treated myself to a huge lunch. FRENCH FRIES, CHEESE SANDWHICH , 2 coca-cola, jerra rice and some type or cury.... and it costed med about 2.20 US dollars. Another day in Kolkata. Gotta love it.

Tuan

Lord God, in a world of chaos help me find light and peace within your love through those you put in my life. Blessed Mother, teach me to love the way you love your Beloved Son.

Getting the hang of things

2007-06-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

Everything is finally coming together. I'm absolutely loving it here in Kolkata. Last night my friend Erica from Mexico City had a party because it was her last night. We were chilling out in the courtyard of my Hotel room. She made us a Mexican themed dinner and we did a lot of dancing and chatting.
It was hard for me to get up this morning because I was up late (11pm is late for me here) and didn't roll out of bed till 5:20am. Rushing through my shower I tried to have enough time to get to the Mother house for Morning mass but surely enough, I missed mass by 7 minutes. In Kolkata, at the Mother House, they lock the door once mass starts so the MC sisters don't have to wait at the door and everyone can attend. But unfortunately for people that runs late like myself... that means waiting outside the door for almost an hour.
Today, I worked at Daya Dan, a house for the orphans. I worked up stair once again... although the children up stair have mental difficulties they have such innocent expression of love. I'm so drawn to them and absolute adore working with them. When I got there I went straight to the children but on of the Masis (local pernament volunteer) needed my help with the laundry. I spent almost the whole morning till tea time doing laundry. It was hard work, not gonna lie. There were three other Masis and myself doing all 100+: bed, sheets, pillow case, clothes, dippers, and towels. And of course, we did it the old fashion way. Two deep sinks, made of concrete. One with soap water and the other for rinse. I stepped into the sinks and started stomping away to scrub out the dirt, urine, caca, and all that good stuff. Rinsing and than ringing out the water and hanging up the washed items. As I was ringing out the water... the color of the water being rung out was yellowish brown and most deffinitely had a strong smell of urine. I realize that the smell of Kolkata... it for surely is a mixture of urine odor and Caca. Being here you just got to realize while doing some task you got to breathe through your mouth, not your nose.
I got the opportunity to help feed again today. Sona, a 13 years old boy, that could not sit up on his own or keep his head up on his own. Nor can he move much besides his arms. Sona often sleeps and can't ever keep attention. When you feed him you must keep his attention and make sure he sallows because without help he can't sallow the food on his own either. Sona often throws epylipse fits while feeding and will cry at any discomfort. And yes... it was my task to make sure he ate today. When I first started feeding Sona, it was a challegne. He wouldn't lift his head off the table, his whole body was "drappy". As I was feeding him; food and food would pile up in his mouth and he wouldn't sallow and it was becoming quite the mess. Sona would start crying and the mess only got messier and the attention was drawn over towards my disablity to feed a child. I than had made up a song... "called Sona Sona". Pretty much... it just repeated his name over and over so he can stay awake. And the best trick of it all... was that with the spoon I pressed down on his tounge a little ... kind of like a gagging effect, as gross as that my sound. But it would open up his throat and he would sallow. Well after a good 30 minutes or so, Sona finally finished his dish and a sense of satisfaction came over me.
I've been only working morning shifts since i've been here. I don't know if I have the energy enough to work both mornign and evening shifts. Today I'll be going to the orientation and later in the evening alot of the volunteer and I are heading out to go Salsa dancing at a local club nearby Sudder St.
It's been great here, extermely humid but I can only imagine how it'll feel after the light rain throughout the day will stop... It'll be like a sauna! Well keep me in your prayers and please email or comment the blog. I love hearing from the States. It brings me some comfort of being connected to Home. May we be all united to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary. God bless.

Tuan

PS.- I deffinately used the swatty-potty today ... and yup, there was no TP. It was quite the Kolkata/India experience. haha, but in reality- it's not as bad as it sounds.

Kalighat: Mother's First Love

2007-06-24T04:47:00.000-07:00

Today I shed my first tears; tears of joy, comfort, love, and worries. Before having breakfast at the Mother House I visited Mother’s Tomb. It was so peaceful and consoling as I prayed before Mother; bowing and pressing my forehead to her tomb. Before me was the great soul of God’s love revealed through an individual that was nothing but love. I was touched and moved by the fruits of her love and asked to only be an imitation of God’s love as she was to the world. Thinking of my beloved ones in the States, God’s mission before me, and the fruits of Mother’s work I was moved to tears. I’m sure it looked rather ridiculous to the novest, and MC sisters that were in the room but… what the heck, I couldn’t help but cry. Here before me was my inspiration and example of how to Love as God loved. Today, I worked at Kalighat, also known as Mother’s First Love and I soon understood why. When I arrived I made went straight to work. All but 2 of the volunteers went and helped with laundry but I wanted to be with the men. So I walked around, until I felt a pull to stop and give some attention. As I began to walk down the row of 50 men sick and dying the very first man stopped me and smiled, he than rubbed his face and so I asked if he needed a shaving. Surly enough he did. Here I was before this man, absolutely terrified with this razor and soap/brush (you have to remember, I’m the lazy one in the States that uses a electronic razor). I was shaving him slowly and not pressing hard to make sure I didn’t cut him. And we both knew I was terrified in doing so… and had a chuckle. But then I got more comfortable after a couple of laughs and gave him a clean shaved.
I than walked over to a man and sat beside him, he smiled and held my hands. We started talking, I didn’t understand a single word he said but I believed we spoke of the world around us. I spoke to him about love in English and he spoke to me about his life experience in Bangali. He pointed at himself while talking and then here and there and shook his head then looked at me and smiled and then did a gesture to reveal that he was blessed now. I sat for several minutes and just listened. I than began to sing and his face brighten up immediately. He than sang a song in Bangali and I was so soothed by his voice. He taught me the lyrics as I mimicked it (I totally forgot it now) but at the time it made him laugh and smile while he was teaching me this song in Bangali.
I was called over by a young man (25 years), there was nothing but skin and bones. I honestly have never met someone in my life as skinny as he was. I was sure he was going to die at any moment. He could barely lift his arm but enough to reach towards me and hold on to mine… “Massage” he said. And I smiled as I began to rub and massage his arms and head. His body I felt no muscle… I was massage his skin on bones and couldn’t think about anything besides God is watching over him for him to be still alive and smiling back at me. Truly is he God’s beloved one. His back was nothing more then skin on bones, I could feel every part of his spine and shoulder blades. There was a wonderful man with his bed over in the corner (number 47) his name is Bishnu. Never have I met someone with such a great character. We just laughed and goofed around. It started with him handing me a bottle of his urine to be emptied and coming back he just wanted me to sit with him. We talked about Jesus. He told me Jesus loves me because “You are a good man, very good man” (were his words exactly). Over and over he said to me as he held my hands “you are a very good man”. And then he pointed to the crucifix hanging on the was and said “Jesus, very good man”. Bishnu rubbed my head and face and with his hand behind my neck pulled me close to him (forehead to forehead) as he built tears in his eyes. He took one of my hands with two hands and held it to his forehead and than kissed it. Numerous times did he do this throughout our conversation. I returned his love by letting him know that God loves him immensely and so do I. I held him close and as we hugged, he patted my back and held me closer. We than shared some very fun moments. Counting to 100 in English, than doing it again and racing each other. Then we said the ABCs and said some anatomy parts, and I taught him some new anatomy parts (shoulders, back, and arms). Lunch came around and there were many men that were too weak to sit up or feed themselves. I sat with a man that was unable to talk or sit up by him self and help feed him. After lunch I had to change him. Which was a rather difficult task for me. First day… and oh was I in for a treat. He had peed on his mattress and needed changing. He needed to be wiped and it was rather difficult because he was actually going again while I was wiping him. After all this I had change and clean him. Honestly… I cannot say that it was my will to do this. By the grace of God did I find the strength to get over myself and let God’s love be worked through me. Still now I can’t believe or can imagine myself doing such deeds but it truly brought satisfaction when I was able to become a vessel for God to work through me. Anyways, I have orientation tomorrow (for I still haven’t gone) but today was quiet the experience. I really want to work at Kalighat for the remaining period of my stay here in Kolkata, along with Daya Dan. I walked around town today and saw numerous things that amazed me. There was a huge field by Park St full of goats, cows, and farm animals gazing (in the middle of the city). Cows on the streets and monkeys in the trees were quiet the site. I also saw a fatty cockroach this morning and a gecko along the wall of my hotel (it was pretty cool). I walked around New Market and ended buying a light Indian Tshirt. I honestly brought too many shirts and pants and … none of which I really want to wear here. So I’m donating a lot to the MC. Along with my bed sheets and many meds and supplies. Well, I must be on my way, adoration at the mother house is in a couple of minutes. Can’t miss.

First day in Kolkata, India... oh what a day

2007-06-23T04:35:00.000-07:00

20+ hours on the plane, and finally it landed around midnight last night/early this morning. As soon as the plane touched the ground, I could see the condensation building on the windows, due to the humidity. Stepping out of the plane felt as if I was stepping in front of a hot wind jet. Within seconds I flet sweat building between my toes and sandals, although it was fairly cool outside. and still the weather isn't as bad (just a little humid : but it's been raining here and there). I got a prepaid taxi to take me to Hotel Circular last nightand was extremely disapointed on how ripped off I got. The driver told me some crap about an additional 400 Rps ontop of my prepaid 210 Rps. I aruged throughout the ride with him about this. When I arrived at my destination the cab driver continued to yell at me as if I haven't paid and I continued arguing but needless to say, as a foreinger traveling alone I surrendered and was scammed horribly and knowingly (many others confirmed that i did also). Hotel Circular was locked (it was 12:30am) but i knocked and they let me in. My room was real nice but extremely expensive for my budgeting for a summer's trip in India. I only slept for less than 2 hours. I woke up early at 1: 50 and couldn't get back to bed so finally rolled out at 3; repacked, showered, and left at 5am to find my way to the Mother House which was somewhere close down the street.
When I arrived at the alley or the large white building there was no doubt in my mind I was at the right place; Mother House. I could hear the sisters singing for morning prayers and I came up to join them and stayed for mass at 6 am. Celebrating mass was so comforting. In the midst of my kolkata chaos and feeling alone, was the familiarity of a Catholic Mass celebration which made me feel at home. I felt as if God was speaking to me directly throught the readings today, “for the sake fo Christ, when I am weak, then I am strong.” These words played through my head. Calling me to humble myself so Christ can be strong through me. I wanted so much to be in control and worried about the unnessesary things but God was tellnig me again that He’s with me and will guide my trip. “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.” So I let go and let God worked through me today. After mass I had bananan and bread for breakfast with the volunteers and was assigned to help at Daya Dan an orphanage.
When I arrived, I choose to work on the top floor with beautiful orphans that were challenged mentally. And I’m not gonna lie, I felt absolutely lost in what I was suppose to do for a good 20 minutes. The local that volunteered were pointing here and there but nothing made sense but something came over me and within a minute change, I felt that I knew what I needed to be doing. The other volunters were cleaning the cribs and the local volunters were bathing the children. So I helped carry each child and prepared them to be brushed, bathed, and clothed. Afterwards I carried them to a room for physical therapy. The orphans I was with were from ages six to lower teen years. They all were fairly thin, very few could walk, and some had popbellies. I got to help exercise their legs and build leg muscles. Along with just rubbing their bellies and singing to these beautiful children to sooth their cry. There was a gorgious young girl, that seemed not only to have been mentally challenged but also a burnt victim, she was standing on my toes and we were dancing across the floor. God always seem to lighten my heart through children, always always. I helped the MC sisters with other duties such as carry woodwoven mats from one end of the building to the other and prepare the meal for the children, mushing the food with our hands. I never felt so selfless but at the same time feeling so fulfilled. God has been so good to me and has shown me immense love through these beloved children. I am so blessed to have this opportunity to grow in love. Thank you everyone who made this possible for me. Today I moved my stay from Hotel Circular to Sudder Street at Hotel Paragon. Rather than paying 1200 Rps per night I now pay 80 Rps ($2 US dollars). I’m dorming with 4 others for a week and may change over when Caitlin and Briana arrives in Kolkata. I had my first meal (lunch) today at Fresh and Juicy. It was spectacular! I’m still in total disbelief that I’m in Kolkata, India. The poverty here is immense. People lying almost completely naked all over the streets. People bathe and go to the bathroom on the sidewalk, stray dogs and cattles of goats roam the streets, and people dumping their trash out after the market. I’m honestly being challegned in all my senses and I got to say… I LOVE IT! I only wish that I could share this experience with someone. Pray for me, as I for you.

Prayer: Creator and most loving father, I long to be something beautiful for you but I am weak in my selfishness and fear of uncertainty. May you help transform this fear of uncertainty into a will-full surrender of love, so I may satiate your thrist for souls that are selflessly lovign, giving and joyful. Blessed Mother Mary, in the midst of all the chaos, may you help keep my eyes fixed on the greater glory of your dearly beloved Son, who suffered for the attonment of our sins.

2007-06-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

I'm sure many of you are wondering how I came to be motivated to serve alongside the Missionaries of Charity in

India

, Kolkata. So here's the story...

As many of you may know, I'm a prideful person. I love competition and feed off of a winning victory, either way, I was struggling with my pride and virtue of humility. And it distanced me from growing closer in relations with my family, friends, and my relationship with God. I started praying the litany of humility and for months nothing came to me. But it didn't stop me from trusting in the powers of prayer. One specific day after praying the Litany along with the rosary and a special prayer intention in front of the Blessed Sacrament, to understand how I can obtain this virtue of humility, I went downstairs and feel asleep on one of the couch in the Newman Center. Half an hour later, I awoke from my nap and the words that rolled out of my mouth were, "I need to go to Kolkata". Someone that overheard me from the other room stuck there head into the room I was in and asked "what?" But even then I had no clue what I was talking about. A couple days pasted but the zeal didn't fade but rather I grew more and more passionate about this urgency to travel to India and to serve those of the poor. Researching the possibility of working with the Missionaries of Charity fueled this desire even more.I was constantly on the internet searching for plane tickets, contacts, hotels, and researching about the history of how India became how it is. Later on that week I prayed the Litany of Humility again and then everything came together and made sense to me; God was challenging me to grow in humility by humbling myself to serve those of the poorest of the poor. He was going to help me grow closer to him, taking on Jesus in the most distressing disguise of the poor in the slums of Kolkata. What can be more humbling then being a servant among those that are weak and lowly, rejected, destitute, orphans, and that society lack to acknowledge. This was my mission God’s given me; to be a servant to those he loves so much, the poor. To become a prophet of God’s love to them and all others I come in contact with. This zeal and passion to serve and love has ignited a fire within me that I couldn't turn away from and so I started planning, fundraising, serving those around my community, in Mexico during Spring Break and now, here I am! I'm still at the very beginning of my journey and will spend a life time working towards humility but what I've come to learn is that the moment you think you've obtained the virtue of humility, you've already lost it. So let us all humble ourselves to become a blessing to others, for our greatest example of Love has humbled himself and came down from being praised and glorified in the Heavens to be among those of the poorest of the poor. Humbling himself to be ridicule, mocked, spit on, condemned, scourged, humiliated, and crucified by the same world he came to show ultimate selfless love. May we only strive to become an imitation of Christ to others. Blessed Virgin Mary, help and guide us to your only beloved Son.

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

2007-06-11T11:12:00.001-07:00

Kolakta (formerly known as Calcutta), the capital city of the Indian state of West Bengal located in Eastern India, is home to 13-14 million people. The city was founded by the British in 1690, and as the capital city of the British East India Company, grew to become the largest city in Asia, and a primary political, commercial, and intellectual center.

Independence from Britain in 1947, and the partition of the subcontinent into "Hindu" IndiaPakistan (including modern-day Bangladesh) resulted in large-scale communal rioting and bloodshed. Kolkata was flooded with millions of immigrants in 1947, 1951, and 1971. These huge waves of immigrants, combined with communal violence, political turmoil, and corruption, have contributed to the enormous economic depression in Kolkata that has brought the city to an advanced state of decay and poverty today. Operation World describes Kolkata as the city with the lowest urban standard of living in the world, with 5.5 million residents living in squatter conditions. and "Muslim"

Kolkata is named for Kali, the Hindu goddess of death and destruction. More than 2,000 altars and shrines devoted to Kali are found throughout the city today. Approximately 76% of Kolkata's residents are Hindus, and 23% are Muslims. Less than one-tenth of 1% of Kolkatans are Evangelical Christians.

In a few days I’ll be leaving Washington, with Kolkata as my destination. I’m nervous, scared, and excited. I’m trying not to let these emotions hinder the purpose of my trip. I must not let my own desires or anxiety cloud my will to humble myself to serve and love. I can’t stop thinking about my beloved ones here in Washington that I’ll be leaving behind, the preparation for my sister’s wedding I’ll miss and the comfort of my living standard here in America. At the same time, my mind races through thoughts of excitement and joy for this experience God’s permitted. This journey I have before me is my doorway to the virtue I long for; patience, charity, humility, and selfless love. Next Thursday I leave to Kolkata but today the journey has already begun; my love for the poor has already started, and my understanding and model of humility is before me on the cross as an example of selfless love.

Prayer: My God, I’m but a lowly servant and can not do anything without you. May you take a hold of my life, as sad and useless it may be, and turn it into a channel and vessel of your love and peace to those I come in contact with. Use me as an instrument to proclaim your love through service and actions. May you prepare my heart so I can grow to be more united to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary through the poorest of the poor.